Love, in English

And with a gesture of his hand, he turned and left down the stairs. As if what he had just witnessed wasn’t a catastrophic event, my life’s version of the big bang.

My eyes trained on the door, too afraid now to look back at Mateo. What had we just done?

I cleared my throat and smoothed my hair down. “We better go back inside.”

“Wait,” Mateo said, grabbing my arm and pulling me close to him. I felt the world slip away at his touch and I was lost once again in the gleaming depths of his eyes. “That ca

“I don’t think it can be anything else,” I whispered. My heart was being put through a meat grinder.

“Yes, it can,” he said. His voice was flinty with determination, brows knitted close together.

“You’re married,” I said helplessly, the words almost escaping as a sob.

“It is over.”

I shook my head. “No. No, it’s not. It’s not over. Not for you. It was just a kiss, you can recover from this. You can tell yourself I came on to you. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I want you,” he said, his grip becoming firmer. “I wanted you from the very begi

“Because it’s not possible!” I cried out, pounding a fist on his chest.

“You don’t know that,” he hissed.

“You’re married!” I yelled. “I ca

“You already are the other woman!” he yelled right back. His words smashed into me, blowing me to smithereens. He cupped my face in his hands. “You already are, whether you want to be or not. You’ve bewitched me, Vera. You’ve blinded me. You’ve made me forget my vows. And all you had to do was shine.” He swallowed hard, his eyes piercing into me. “Do you not know how I feel about you?”

I had to go. I couldn’t let him tell me any more.

I turned on my heel and ran to the door, taking a moment once I was inside to compose myself. The alternative would have been to scale the brick wall and run all the way back to Las Palabras, but I had a feeling I’d probably injure myself doing that. I had to go downstairs, to the crowd, to where everyone was waiting for us.

My heart was beating so rapidly I was certain I was going to pass out and roll down the stairs. But somehow I made it down there, the chill of the cellar coasting over my bare skin. I expected to see everyone staring at me for the intrusion, but instead they were all looking at the center of the room where Jerry was standing, handing a piece of paper to Angel for “Most Improved English.”

While everyone was applauding and shouting words of congratulations, I snuck back into my seat. Becca looked at me and I gave her a nervous smile.

“What was that all about?” she asked quietly.

My head ticked back and forth, my lips shut together. I couldn’t talk. If I did, I would start…I don’t know what. But it would have been bad.

Moments later I felt Mateo’s presence behind me and he pulled out his chair. I swear, my lungs gave up and my heart decided to follow along. Just him sitting beside me was too much, especially after knowing what he tasted like. I could still feel his lips on mine, his body beneath my hands.

I could still hear, “You already are the other woman,” playing over and over in my head.

It was too much. Perhaps I needed to vomit.

“And the award for best laugh goes to, Vera Miles!”

The vomit went back down. What the fuck? I looked up from where I’d been blindly staring at my empty dessert dish to see Jerry holding up a piece of paper and waving me over.

Best laugh? How could I win for best laugh? I felt like I’d never laughed a single day in my life.

“You’ve won,” Mateo murmured in my ear as he clapped, the feel of his breath freezing me in place. “Go up there.”

I don’t know how, but I did as he said. I got out of my chair and made my way around the table to the middle of the room where Jerry quickly pulled me into a hug. He handed the paper to me and made me smile with him at Manuel who had started taking pictures. I think I smiled anyway. I couldn’t even focus on the fact that my laugh, which I had been told was infectious, had gotten me an award.

I should have gotten an award for being a villain instead.

Chapter Fifteen

“Get up, sleepyhead.”

I groaned and opened one eye. The bedroom was filled with light. I slowly rolled over, hair in my face, to see Claudia sitting on the edge of the bed. I hadn’t even heard her come in.

“What time is it?” I asked, my throat raw as I reached for a glass of water from my bedside. My mouth tasted sour.

“It’s ten minutes before you are late for breakfast,” she said.

“Ugh,” I said after I drained the glass. “Can’t I just sleep all day? They know I’m sick.”

She gave me a look. “No, you can’t. It’s our second to last day. You felt fine when you went to bed.”

That was true. Seconds after I received the award for “best laugh” from Jerry, I was struck again by the need to vomit. I didn’t know if it was my nerves, the fear, or the food, but suddenly I was ru

All I could think about was how hard I tried not to be the other woman. I couldn’t pretend anymore that I cared about Isabel’s well-being, because the honest bitchy truth was that I didn’t. I didn’t know her—all I knew was that she was wrong for him and he didn’t love her. But I did know what my parents’ divorce did to me, and I had no wish to do that to Chloe A

But, as Mateo said, I didn’t seem to have a choice in it. My heart had fluttered when I thought about his words. That I had bewitched him. That I shone.

That I made him forget his vows.

How could such a thing make me both sick to my stomach and so extraordinarily blissful at the same time?

“Are you going to get up or do I need to get another glass of water and pour it on your head?” Claudia said, smacking my leg.

“Wow, you got mean,” I said. I slowly sat up and exhaled like I hadn’t let out a breath all night.

“How are you really feeling?” she asked me. She hadn’t said a word about Mateo last night, which I appreciated.

I shook my head sadly. “I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel.”

“What happened on the patio? I was dying for a cigarette but I didn’t want to interrupt.”

I crossed my legs under me and looked down at my hands pressed together. “He kissed me.”

I shot her a quick look to gauge her reaction. She was smiling broadly.

“Don’t smile,” I admonished her. “It’s not a good thing.”

“Not a good thing? Vera, what is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” Lord, where did I begin with that?

“Was it a bad kiss?”

“No,” I said, body trembling at the memory, my lips tingling with electricity. I lightly touched them with my fingertips. “It was the best kiss I ever had.”

“Then there is something wrong with you.”

“He’s married.”

“Is he?” she mocked, mouth open. “I had no idea. It’s like you never talk about that.”

I glared at her. “It doesn’t bother you?”

Her eyes roamed the room in thought. Finally she said, “No. Because I see you together and I know that there is something special there. It’s not silly or…what is the word…frivolous? It is real.”

“He said I made him forget his vows, that I’m already the other woman.”

Her eyes bugged out. “He said that? Wow. Mateo…he is really opening up.”

“Yeah, well, that’s why I don’t know how I feel. I just want to stay in my room here all day.”

“Away from him?”

“It would be safer.”

She smiled softly. “There is no safe anymore, Vera. You know that.”