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From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:43 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Lucky duck.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:44 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Lucky pig, actually.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:48 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Right! Hey, weren’t you ru

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:51 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Yeah, I should probably be getting back to it…

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:55 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Okay. Nice talking to you. And sorry I couldn’t come through for Wilbur.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:57 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

He’ll forgive you, I’m sure. He’s a very magnanimous pig.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:58 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

I’m relieved to hear that.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:01 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Hey, E?

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:02 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Yes… G?

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:03 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

What if I e-mail you again tomorrow?

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:04 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

I don’t know. I’m not exactly in the habit of trolling the Internet for pen pals…

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:05 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

But?

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:07 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

But I’m also terrible at good-byes.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:08 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Okay then. I’ll just say hello again instead.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:09 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

I like that better. And I’ll say: Good morning!

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:10 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

But it’s not morning…

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:12 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

It is in Maine.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:13 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Ah, right. Then: Howdy!



From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:14 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

How very western of you. Greetings!

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:15 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Are you an alien invader? Ni hao.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:17 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

You definitely just looked that one up.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:19 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

You don’t think I’m proficient in Chinese?

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:20 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

I do not.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:21 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Fair enough. Then, salutations! (That one was from Wilbur, of course.)

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:24 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Of course. Until tomorrow…

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:25 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Wait, is that your way of saying good-bye without really saying good-bye?

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:27 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

No. Actually, I’m not sure I’m quite finished saying hello yet.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:30 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Me neither. Hello.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:31 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Hi.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:33 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Good morning.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:34 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

I already said that one.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:36 AM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: (no subject)

Yeah, but it really is.

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 12:42 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: hi

Don’t you hate it when people use smiley faces in their e-mails?

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 12:59 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: not really

From: [email protected] /* */

Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 1:04 PM

To: [email protected] /* */

Subject: Re: not really

I’m going to ignore that.

I read once that in Russia, they usually end the salutation of a letter with an exclamation point. Isn’t that fu