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Her eyes widened. “Okay, okay. Sorry. My lips are sealed.”
Then she grabbed her makeup bag and sat down on the edge of my bed, and I sat down at her feet. She pulled out a comb and sectioned off my hair. She braided quickly, with fast and sure fingers, and when she was done, she pi
I started to laugh, but then I stopped myself. Taylor caught my eye in the mirror and said, “It’s okay to laugh, you know. It’s okay for you to have fun.”
“I know,” I said, but I didn’t.
Before we left I stopped by my mother’s office. She was sitting at her desk with folders and stacks of papers. Susa
Susa
“Mom?”
She looked up at me. “Yes?”
“Have you had di
“I’m not hungry,” she said. “If there isn’t any food in the fridge, you can call for a pizza if you want.”
“I can fix you a sandwich,” I offered. I’d gone to the store earlier that week. Steven and I had been taking turns. I doubted she even knew it was Fourth of July weekend.
“No, that’s all right. I’ll come down and fix myself something later.”
“Okay.” I hesitated. “Taylor and I are going to a party. I won’t be home too late.”
Part of me hoped she’d tell me to stay home. Part of me wanted to offer to stay and keep her company, to see if she maybe wanted to see what was on Turner Classic Movies, pop some popcorn.
She’d already gone back to her paperwork. She was chewing on her ballpoint pen. “Sounds good,” she said. “Be careful.”
I closed the door behind me.
Taylor was waiting for me in the kitchen, texting on her phone. “Let’s hurry up and go already.”
“Hold on, I just have to do one last thing.” I went over to the fridge and pulled out stuff for a turkey sandwich. Mustard, cheese, white bread.
“Belly, there’s go
“It’s for my mom,” I said.
I made the sandwich, put it on a plate, covered it with plastic wrap, and left it on the counter where she’d see it.
Justin’s party was everything Taylor said it would be. Half our class was there, and Justin’s parents were nowhere in sight. Tiki lamps lined the yard, and his speakers were practically vibrating, the music was so loud. Girls were dancing already.
There was a big keg and a big red cooler. Justin was ma
“As if anybody would make out with him.” Taylor sniffed. Taylor had made a play for Justin at the begi
I’d forgotten to put on bug spray, and the mosquitoes were eating me for di
People were drinking beer out of red plastic cups. Taylor got us both wine coolers. Mine was Fuzzy Navel. It was syrupy and it tasted like chemicals. I took two sips before I threw it away.
Then Taylor spotted Davis over by the beer pong table and she put her finger to her lips and grabbed my hand. We walked up behind him and Taylor slipped her arms around his back. “Gotcha!” she said.
He turned around and they kissed like they hadn’t just seen each other a few hours ago. I stood there for a minute, awkwardly holding on to my purse, looking everywhere but at them. His name was actually Ben Davis, but everyone called him Davis. Davis was really cute; he had dimples and green eyes like sea glass. And he was short, which at first Taylor said was a dealbreaker but now claimed not to mind so much. I hated riding to school with them because they held hands the entire time while I sat in the back like the kid. They broke up at least once a month, and they’d only been dating since April. During one breakup, he’d called her, crying, trying to get back together, and Taylor had put him on speaker. I’d felt guilty for listening but at the same time envious and sort of awestruck that he cared that much, enough to cry.
“Pete’s go
She looked over at me and shook her head. She stepped out of his grasp. “I can’t leave Belly.”
I shot her a look. “Taylor, you don’t need to babysit me. You should play.”
“Are you sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure.”
I walked away before she could argue with me. I said hi to Marcy, to Frankie who I used to ride the bus with in middle school, to Alice who was my best friend in kindergarten, to Simon who I was on yearbook with. I’d known most of these kids my whole life and yet I’d never felt more homesick for Cousins.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Taylor chatting it up with Cory, and I made a run for it before she could call me over. I grabbed a soda and I made my way over to the trampoline. There was no one on it yet so I kicked off my flip-flops and climbed on. I laid down right in the middle, careful to hold my skirt close to me. The stars were out, little bright diamond flecks in the sky. I gulped down my Coke, burped a few times, looked around to see if anyone had heard me. But no, everyone was back by the house. Then I tried to count stars, which is pretty much as silly as trying to count grains of sand, but I did it anyway because it was something to do. I wondered when I’d be able to sneak away and go back home. We’d taken my car, and Taylor could get a ride home with Davis. Then I wondered if it would look weird if I wrapped up a few hot dogs to take with me for later.
I hadn’t thought about Susa
As I was thinking this over, Cory Wheeler climbed up onto the trampoline and made his way to the middle, to where I was. He laid down right next to me and said, “Hey, Conklin.”
Since when were Cory and I on a last-name basis? Since never.
And then I went ahead and said, “Hey, Wheeler.” I tried not to look at him. I tried to concentrate on counting stars and not on how close he was to me.
Cory propped himself up on one elbow and said, “Having fun?”
“Sure.” My stomach was starting to hurt. Ru
“Seen any shooting stars yet?”
“Not yet.”
Cory smelled like cologne and beer and sweat, and oddly enough, it wasn’t a bad combination. The crickets were so loud and the party seemed really far away.
“So, Conklin.”
“Yeah?”
“Are you still seeing that guy you brought to prom? The one with the unibrow?”
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. “Conrad doesn’t have a unibrow. And no. We, um, broke up.”
“Cool,” he said, and the word hung in the air.
This was one of those fork-in-the-road kind of moments. The night could go either way. If I leaned in just a little to my left, I could kiss him. I could close my eyes and let myself get lost in Cory Wheeler. I could go right on forgetting. Pretending.