Reclaiming the Sand

She had obviously wanted nothing more than to destroy me all this time.

But it would take more than her hateful words to bring me down.

Because I had something to fight for now.

I ran my finger over the tiny piece of art that Fly

I had Fly

And that was something Dania could never take from me.

-Ellie-

Fly

He carefully picked through his suitcase, counting his shirts and pants. Then he counted his socks and boxer shorts.

This trip was much more difficult for him than I thought it would be. I should have known better of course. Fly

And even though he was the one who suggested going away, I should have realized that it would require a lot of pla

I had already witnessed one such freak out when I had accidentally gotten him the wrong kind of toothpaste. He used Colgate Whitening religiously. When he said he needed some more for our trip, I offered to pick it up. He told me at least four times the brand he needed.

But Reggie and her ramblings had distracted me and I had picked up Colgate Tartar Control instead.

It had resulted in a level ten melt down.

“I use Colgate Whitening. Only Colgate Whitening. I like the taste. This stuff is horrible. I won’t use it!” He was talking rapidly and I could barely keep up with him.

Then he threw the toothpaste across the room. I tried to talk to him. To tell him I’d go back and get him the right kind. But he hadn’t been listening. He had told me to leave him alone.

I wanted to argue with him. I wanted to scream at him to snap out of it. That it was only toothpaste!

But I knew it was useless. He had started rubbing his hands and pacing. He was way passed reasonable.

So I told him I’d be down stairs and then I had left the bedroom, closing the door and waited for him in the living room. I heard thumping above me but I stayed put. Murphy had jumped up on the couch beside me and rested his head in my lap. He was becoming used to Fly

Because his fits bothered me. They both scared me and made me angry. When he started yelling I wanted to yell back. I wanted to scream at him to stop it.

And then a part of me wanted to run away and never look back. The selfish side of me thought it was too much trouble. That Fly

But then I would remember how many times I had been made to feel like I wasn’t worth the effort. Every time I was packed up and shipped off to a new foster home I knew it was because no one could deal with me. That these people I thought could love me, in reality didn’t care enough to put forth the effort.

I wouldn’t do that to Fly

Because Fly

He had taught me how to love.

When Fly

He wouldn’t look at me.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s okay,” I said. I went over to him and pulled out the list he had made.

“Let’s go over this again, all right, and then I’ll go and get some new toothpaste,” I told him brightly.

It took a long time for Fly

So I carried on, not allowing either of us to dwell on it.

“Six shirts. Twelve pairs of socks…”Fly

“We’re only going away for two nights, Fly

Fly

“It’s ten forty-five. We need to leave in fifteen minutes. I have to get Murphy’s dog food and toys. He likes the squeaky cheeseburger,” Fly

“I’ve already gotten everything together. His food, his bowls, and his favorite toys. His blanket is already on the back seat of the car,” I told him. Of course Fly

We went through the house, making sure lights were turned off, and windows were locked. Ten minutes later we were dragging our suitcases out to the car.

Fly

“You ready to go to the beach?” I asked the dog, kissing the top of his head. He licked my cheek and I laughed.

Fly

“Depending on traffic,” I interjected.

Fly

“We will stop in one hour and fifty-one minutes in Lexington, Virginia to get something to eat,” Fly

“Okay, sounds good. Let’s do this!” I clapped my hands together and Fly

“Okay. Let’s go,” he said and started driving down the hill toward the road. Fly

He would listen to his music over and over again. Even though it drove me a little nuts listening to The Cure on repeat, he enjoyed it so I never said anything. It kept him calm. So I’d suck up my Cure aversion and deal with it.

Murphy laid happily on the back seat as Fly

“We’re going to the beach,” Fly

I gri

We passed the time alternating between comfortable silence and random conversation. We discussed the many alternating story lines on Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which he still watched obsessively, until we drove into Virginia.