Reclaiming the Sand

I hurried around the side of the house and hid behind one of the buildings that like the house had been recently painted. I could still smell the fumes heavy in the humid air.

“I can see you.” A voice rose up out of the darkness and I jumped. I couldn’t help my reaction. His sudden appearance freaked me out.

I pressed myself against the side of the building, feeling foolish for being there in the first place. Why hadn’t I left as soon as I had realized where I was? What had compelled me to venture onto the property in the first place?

“What are you doing here?” he asked me and I could barely make out the black silhouette in the moonlight.

“I didn’t mean to. I was trying to find the road,” I excused, a

Being here after all this time was doing crazy things to my head and my heart. And seeing him now, when my memories of this place were making me feel uncharacteristically vulnerable, was almost too much.

Fly

“The road is over there,” he pointed back toward the trees in the direction I had just come from.

I laughed nervously. “Yeah I know. I had forgotten this place was here,” I answered lamely. It was a lie of course. Maybe subconsciously this is where I had been heading all along. Maybe I wanted to come here.

Because I could never forget this place, no matter how much I wanted to.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded roughly, trying to hide my growing sense of unease.

Fly

My stomach dropped to my feet at his statement. He was living here?

“I thought it had been sold…” I began.

“No, I took it off the market last year after my mom died,” Fly

Then I registered what he had said and I felt an uncomfortable familiar crush of feeling.

“I’m sorry, Fly

And for the first time in six years I identified and felt someone else’s feelings as if they were my own.

It scared me shitless.

Fly

“Thanks,” Fly

We stood silent. Locked in place by the weight of a thousand memories and words unspoken.

I wasn’t quite sober enough for the heaviness of the moment. It was overwhelming me. I thought I would suffocate in the tension.

“Did you do the work on the house?” I asked him, not knowing what else to say. I should probably just leave but for some reason, I couldn’t make my feet travel back the way they had come.

I didn’t want to go backwards.

Fly

These memories slammed into me with the force of a wrecking ball. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about any of this in years.

But being here, with Fly

“Do you want to come inside?” Fly

Taking my refusal at face value, Fly

There was always something so easy about being with Fly

An ocean of time separated us from the kids we once were together, yet I was surprised to find those people still there, beneath the surface.

“I planted some flowers. The ones you liked are there. The yellow ones with the black center,” Fly

What was he talking about?

“You used to pick them on the way home. They grew by the road near the bridge. You would wrap the stems together and then throw them in the water. You said they were too pretty. They were your favorites.” He seemed to be reciting from a book, his sentences monotone and fluid.

How the hell did he remember all this shit about me? Whereas I had made a conscientious effort to forget, it seemed Fly

“Black Eyed Susans,” I said softly, rubbing my temples, my head throbbing.

“That’s a stupid name,” Fly

I barked out a laugh. I couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, it’s a stupid fucking name,” I agreed tiredly.

“You shouldn’t cuss like that,” he admonished. He had always hated when I swore. Yet another ridiculous detail that had gotten stuck in my head.

Fly

But he came back a few minutes later with a handful of yellow flowers. He held them out toward me. “Here. These are for you,” he said, handing me the bouquet an impatient shake.

I slowly reached out and took them from him. Our fingers brushed briefly and I recognized his instant recoil. His hands clasped together in front of him and I watched as he started to methodically rub them together.

“Thanks,” I said, holding the flowers limply. I knew never to be surprised by what life threw at you, but I was shocked as hell by the direction my evening had taken. I hadn’t expected to find an odd sense of comfort in the presence of the person I hoped to never see again.

“Are you going to come by the art studio?” Fly

I remembered our conversation days before and how rudely I had turned him down. I had been hateful and mean. Clearly that hadn’t deterred him. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him where to shove it in the most inelegant way possible, but there was something in the air that made rejecting him seem impossible.

Maybe it was this place that had inexplicably always felt like a home. Maybe it was standing here, with Fly

Maybe it was the fact that I was still slightly inebriated and not in my right mind.

Whatever it was, my inhibitions were gone.

“Sure,” I found myself saying. Even though Fly

“Good,” he answered. He finally looked up at me and the ghost of a smile was still painted on his lips. “You look cold. You should dress better,” he said, indicating my bare legs and tiny top.

I snorted. “I’m cool. But thanks for your opinion,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

“You look cold. I’m going to get you a jacket,” he pressed and I shook my head.

“Fly

“Why were you in the woods?” Fly

“Uh, I was walking home from a party,” I answered.

“A party,” he intoned in his oddly pleasing voice.

“Yeah. It kind of sucked,” I said, surreptitiously rubbing my arms, not wanting to admit that I was in fact quite chilly.

“Why did it suck?” Fly