Animate Me

I can’t hide my surprise. “She told you?”

“Sure, we told each other everything. You know that was a really stupid idea, Nathan.”

“Yeah? Well, it worked out for you.”

“Yes, it did.” He smiles and steps behind me and gently pushes me forward. “Now let’s get your shit figured out too.”

Over my second beer, I watch Dani get a faraway look in her eyes while she drums her fingers on the weathered wood tabletop.

“I know, I know…he has that excess hair problem right? My brother’s a genius with equipment. Why don’t we get him to jerry-rig the electrolysis machine at the place Arnauld goes to so that they fry the fucker next time he gets his fur removed!”

I almost spit up my beer. “Ha! That’s brilliant!” But then my smile falls. “Only that won’t work because he gets the fur waxed.”

“Waxed?” Nick asks, horrified.

“Even better, we will give new meaning to hot wax!” Dani exclaims.

“Isn’t her devious mind a wondrous thing,” Nick says as he gazes at her lovingly.

Dani’s face lights up again with a new idea.

“I know! Remember that shit he said to Brooke about her figure? Let’s hire some ski

“Yeah! And we’ll dress her in a stripper outfit with her huge tits hanging out!” Nick chimes in.

Dani gives him the look, the one with one eyebrow cocked. I guess girls can suggest stuff like that, but not boyfriends unless they want to get into big trouble.

“I don’t know you two,” I respond. “That would reflect poorly on Brooke too since she’s been involved with him. So that’s not such a good idea.”

“I guess you’re right,” Dani agrees. “Okay, give me a little time. I’ll come up with some other ideas.”

“That’s my girl,” Nick says proudly.

Back from our rowdy lunch, the beer buzz and lingering humor holds me over for almost an hour before the panic sets in again. Like a drug addict fresh out of rehab, I weaken and surrender to my next hit. I pull my phone out of my pocket with shaky hands.

Three twenty-two pm:

Hey Brooke, I just wanted you to know that I’m not going to text anymore. So you can have all the space you need today.

Three thirty-eight:

Unless of course you actually want some company, but are afraid to ask for it. Then I’d be happy to text you.

Four-o-two:

I know I said I wouldn’t text, but we’re gathering to go to Starbucks. Are you sure I can’t bring you one?”

Four thirty-seven:

I bought your drink just in case, and I just did the best drawing ever. You want to see it?

Five fifteen:

This cup should go in the Starbucks hall of fame. Seriously. You’re missing out Brooke.

Five seventeen:

Nick just came over and said he’s going to break my fingers if I text you again.

Five fifty-nine (texted from the parking garage)

Leaving work now—I’ll be home soon if you want to talk.

• • •

The crazed beating on my front door is the first indication that this won’t be a pleasant visit.

“What’s wrong with you?” Brooke screeches, waving her hands dramatically as soon as I pull open the door. “Have you lost your mind? Why did you call or text me every fifteen minutes today? Aren’t I under enough stress without you stalking me?”

I step back stu

Great…I used to be attentive and caring…now I’m a stalker.

I’ve never seen this side of Brooke and it scares me. With her hands jammed on her hips as she lingers on my doorstep, she looks kind of wild. Despite this, I still feel relief to see her. Angry Brooke is better than no Brooke.

Is this our first fight?

“But, I needed to talk to you right away,” I implore.

“Right. I think I got that. But did you take your head out of Toon Town for just a minute to think what I’ve been going through since Saturday? That maybe I needed some space and silent support, not more pressure?”

Yup, I’m sure of it. This is our first fight. Her face is really red. This must be the Buttercup side to her personality she warned me about.

I take a moment to think about what she’s trying to say.

Toon Town? Been going through? Silent support? Is this that cryptic girl talk I’ve heard they revert to when they’re angry?

I’ve never had a girl be this angry with me before. I’m compelled to defend myself. “What about what I’ve been going through since Saturday night? Have you considered that? You could’ve just responded to any one of the texts and told me that you needed some time,” I explain carefully. “Then I wouldn’t have gone crazy with worry.”

She just stares at me dumbfounded, like I have three heads.

“Right. And you would have given me that time?”

“Maybe not,” I admit. Damn. I am a stalker.

“Exactly! Look, I don’t mean to be a bitch, but I’m over the edge here. Everything I’ve worked for is ruined. I’m a joke to everyone.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask baffled.

“Saturday…Saturday! I mean for fucks sake, my boss and quasi-boyfriend a

“People don’t think of you like that, Brooke,” I say softly.

“You have no idea, Nathan…no idea. I’ve been busting my ass trying to find another job, so I could finally get out from under him, and every opportunity mysteriously vanishes before the deal is struck. Well, now I’m the laughing stock of our industry. Look at all the fucking emails I’ve already gotten wishing us the best.”

She holds up her blackberry.

“I’d rather not,” I whisper.

My mind is reeling…another job…out from under him? What have I been missing?

“And you!” She pushes me on the chest.

Uh oh, she’s getting physical. Wow, it’s kind of hot. I try to focus so I don’t get aroused. That would be really awkward and weird right about now.

“You’re the one who’s stirred everything up. You and your damn pedestal, treating me like I’m sooo perfect…like I deserve more. You don’t realize what that does to me.”

“I thought it’s good to be admired,” I say, trying not to feel bad.

“But don’t you see…I’m always worried that I’m going to let you down. All along you’ve thought you weren’t good enough for me. When will you figure out that it’s me that’s not good enough for you?”

“How can you say that?” I ask, baffled.

“I’m a mess, Nathan. I don’t even know who I am anymore. The sooner you figure out what a sorry mess I am, and that I’m not anywhere close to perfect, the better off you’ll be. You can go find the girl that really deserves you.”

I realize there are tears steaming down her face. Confused, I hold my hands out, palms facing up. “Find the girl, what girl?”

“The girl,” she says, her voice breaking. “You should go find her.”

“What makes you think she couldn’t be you?” I ask.

There are little sobs now in between the crying. It’s breaking my heart.

“No, not me,” she cries.

I never would imagine she could be like this. She always seems so powerful, so sure of herself. I’m seeing another side of her and it’s a revelation. I realize it’s my turn to be strong. I clear my throat so my voice will be sure and steady.

“I’m not going anywhere, so stop saying that Brooke.” I pull her into my arms. She feels so fragile, and it makes me want to protect her.

“Besides, even if you are a mess, you’re my perfect mess.”

She bucks and fights my embrace. “Quit saying that! I’m not perfect Nathan…not even close.”

I decide to try a new tactic. “Oh, I know that… believe me!” I tease.