More Than This

When I get out of the shower she’s sitting up in bed. Her eyes and nose are all puffy and red from crying all night, her hair is smeared and sticking out one side. She’s looking at me shyly. It’s pretty much the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen plenty of girls the morning after spending the night with one, but not like this. She’s just, more than anyone else. We haven’t slept together, we haven’t even kissed, and she’s just… more.

Eventually, I’ll want to. Kiss her, I mean. Because hell, who wouldn’t, but not now, not with all this.

“Morning,” I say, sitting next to her on the bed. I give her a quick kiss on the temple.

She kisses me softy on the cheek. It’s the first time she’s kissed me since the limo ride before…

“Good morning,” she tries to smile.

“I really have to be at school this morning, if I could get out of it, I totally would, just so you know.”

“It’s okay, Jake.”

“My dads going to be there with you. If you have any questions or don’t understand something just ask him okay? Seriously, I know he’s intimidating but he’s-"

“Jake, thank you. I’ll be fine. I really appreciate your dad taking time out of his work for me. You guys… all of you… you’re amazing you know that?”

“My family is amazing. Me? I’m kind of a big deal.” I say to her, trying to lighten the mood.

She swats my shoulder playfully then falls back onto the pillows with a huff, one arm covering her eyes.

“Get out of here, Jake. before I make you crawl back under these covers and snuggle with me.” Her free arm points to the door.

A strangled noise comes out of my mouth before I can stop it, because I’m so certain there’s absolutely nothing else in the world I’d rather be doing.

***

By the time I get to school, the hallways are packed. Coach says they’ll just excuse me from class whenever the UNC guys get here. Hopefully they won’t be far off because I need to get back home to Kayla.

“Hey, Asshole!” Logan yells as he walks over to me.

“Mr. Matthews,” some teacher I don’t know reprimands. “This is a place of learning. Not the baseball court.”

Logan rolls his eyes. “About time you showed up.”

I cock my eyebrow at him. His hands go up in surrender. “Sorry, dude. Dick move.”

“So how is she?” He asks as we reach my locker, which happens to be next to Heidi's. Lucy and Cam are there too, and Dylan of course. They stop talking, waiting for my response.

“She’s not doing too well. I mean, what can you expect right? She’s just having a hard time with the funeral and stuff. I took her to the batting cages yesterday. Girl’s got good form.”

Heidi rolls her eyes at my comment.

“She has a meeting with the lawyer today,” I continue. “I’m going to head back as soon as this UNC shit is done.”

Logan raises his eyebrows at my attitude towards the UNC guys, truth is, it just doesn’t seem all that important right now.

“The funeral is tomorrow, at twelve. The gathering is at our house afterwards so I won’t be here.”

“We’ll be there too, Jake,” Lucy says, holding Cam’s hand.

“We’ll all be there,” Dylan assures.

Logan pats my shoulder a couple times before the bell rings and we all separate to go to first period classes.

***

The meeting with the UNC guys is a joke. First they turn up later than they said, and it’s going longer than I anticipated.

The training staff are all good, they seem pretty excited about me being there next season. Some of them haven’t actually seen me pitch in person, so I enjoy their reaction.

The boys on the team are a different story. I get it. I really do. This is the fourth year on the team for some of the guys, and I get that they’re tight with the other players. Now some, cocky freshman is going to join and may even replace the current starter. Plus, the hype that the coaches have built around me, and the special trip to some random high school in the middle of hicksville, just to make me feel ‘more comfortable’. I’d hate me too, I think. They’re not being dicks or anything, but they’re far from comforting.

Finally, I rush home, knowing I’ve definitely missed the meeting. Hopefully it all went well, as well as it can go.

I get home and the house is empty, they must still be there. I go to my room and climb into bed, maybe I can get a nap in. I was going to text her to see if everything was okay, but I realized I don’t even have her number.

Just as I’m about to fall asleep I hear music, ‘Hey Mickey’. It’s her phone on the nightstand, she must have left it home. I ignore it, I don’t feel like invading her privacy. But then it rings again, and again. I finally get up to silence the thing and I see it’s James. 48 missed calls from him, and 13 from Sam, I think that’s his mom.

23 unread texts.

Shit.

The phone rings in my hand again, ‘SAM’ displayed on the screen, I go to reject it but accidentally press ‘accept’.

“Hello? Micky?”

Shit.

I put the phone to my ear.“Uhh… hi?”

“Oh!” she says surprised, then I hear her exhale. “You must be Jake?”

She has that thick drawl like her asshole son.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I can hear her smile through the phone. “We just heard that the funeral will be held tomorrow. I just wanted to confirm the details with Micky.”

I don’t know if Kayla wants them there, I’m sure she won’t mind his parents, but him?

“I’ll be sure to let her know you rang, ma’am.”

“Okay then, thank you,” she sighs out sadly.

I hang up.

I definitely can’t sleep now, so I make my way downstairs. Just as I reach the bottom step, the front door swings open and Kayla bursts through. She doesn’t even see me as she passes me and runs up to my room, closing the door behind her.

I look from her to the front door and Lisa, Mom and Dad are standing there.

“Maybe just leave her for a bit, Jake. I think she needs some time alone,” Lisa tells me.

I look back up the stairs, willing everything in me to not go up there and demand to know what’s happening. I want to hold her and tell her I’ll be there for her. Forever.

I head to the kitchen where the grown ups are talking. I grab an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter then lean back against it.

“What’s going on?” I ask everyone, taking a bite.

Lisa answers, “They just weren’t prepared, her parents. They didn’t have things in order in case anything happened.”

“What does that mean?” I ask, looking at Dad.

“There’s no money, Jake. Even after the house and life insurance payout. It’s just enough to cover the mortgage and other debts,” Lisa says, shaking her head and staring out the window. “There’s enough money to pay the tuition for what the scholarship doesn’t cover at UNC. There’s no money left for housing, even text books, and she still needs to feed herself.”

She stops looking out the window to look at me. “I don’t know what to do. I mean, I could take her home with me but I would have to talk to my fiancé. I know she’s legally an adult but she’s not ready to be on her own, not with nothing. My fiancé would say yes, purely because I asked him, but I don’t think it’s fair, to ask him, I mean…” she trails off.

It’s quiet for the longest time, all of us staring at the floor. We’re all thinking about what we can do to help, if there is anything we can do.

I push off the counter, throw my apple in the bin and head to my room.