More Than This

She’s been listening so intently, I can hear the cogs in her brain turning. “So what happened to your dad’s job?” she asks.

“He left it behind. He’s back to doing what he was doing, not as much money,” I shrug. “They kind of gave up everything so I could make it, it’s hard not to appreciate that.”

“But you didn’t go pro straight out of high school? Are they disappointed?”

“Not at all, I mean, I could have gone pro if I wanted. The offers are there, but it was always my decision. I want to get a college education. I mean, who knows what the Majors has in store for me. I could play two pro games and then injure my arm and it would be over. I have to be smart about it, you know?”

“Shit, Jake.” She’s looking at me wide-eyed, “Your mom wasn’t kidding, you kind of are a big deal.”

“Shut up,” I laugh.

After a few minutes the patio door slides open and Julie comes out. She looks at Kayla, and smiles shyly.

“What’s up Ju-ju? Did you have a good time at Cindy's?” I raise my hand for a high five.

She returns it, “Yeah, I did.”

“Hey, Mikayla,” she starts, “I’m really sorry, about Emily and your parents, and about what I said. I didn’t know…”

“Oh, sweetie.” Kayla moves to sit up in front of her, out of my arms, “Don’t worry about it okay? It’s fine,” she assures her.

Julie nods her head slowly, then hands Kayla a little wooden box.

“What’s this?” Kayla says, as she grabs the box and opens it.

“When I got to Cindy's house, I told her about Emily and Mr. and Mrs. Jones. We umm… we rang around the other girls from dance class and we decided to make these cards, for you. Cindy’s mom drove us around and we collected them from everyone, I chose the box. The cards… I know it’s not much… but we all wrote stuff we liked about Emily, and stuff that we remember about her, she always made us laugh. We just thought you might like it, that’s all.”

Kayla’s holding the cards in her hand, tears are endlessly flowing from her eyes. She places the box carefully on the seat next to her, gets off to squat down in front of Julie and gives her a gigantic hug. Kayla starts sobbing, and Julie begins to cry too. Kayla pulls back, holding Julie's face in her hands and wiping her tears with her thumbs. She looks from Julie, to me, then back to Julie.

“You, have just given me the greatest gift in the history of the world,” she says to Julie through her tears. “Emily was so lucky to know you, and I’m even luckier, because now I get to know you too.”

“So we can be friends?” Julie asks with a hopefulness to her voice. “You’re staying here for a while right? We can hang out and do girl stuff? I always wanted a big sister!”

Kayla looks at me and I know my smile is huge, I can’t help it. She turns back to Julie, “Of course, sweetheart.”

Chapter 13

*Mikayla*

It’s the first night I’ve spent in Jake's bed alone, I sleep a couple hours, which I guess is better than nothing.

I can already hear Lisa talking downstairs, which means the funeral director will be here soon.

I take a shower in the bathroom co

I must squeal, or something, because whatever noise I make gets him to turn around, before dropping whatever it is that’s in his hands.

“Woah,” he breaths out. I know he’s trying not to stare, but he’s got that, ‘deer in the headlights’ look and his eyes are glued to my chest.

I think I squeal again, because whatever I do forces him to snap out of his trance. He turns his back to me and starts heading for the door, mumbling “sorry” as he walks out.

Once I’m fully dressed, I step out of his room and practically walk into him. He’s leaning against the wall. “I’m sorry about that, I knocked, but there was no answer, so I assumed you were downstairs. I just need to get my stuff for training.”

Only now do I notice that he’s in full baseball gear, from cap to cleats. It’s hot as hell.

Wait…

“It’s Monday, don’t you have school?” I know I do, but I’ve been excused. We’re seniors anyway, so it’s not a big deal, but I hope he’s not missing out for me.

“I have permission.” He rolls his eyes. “Besides, it’s senior year, we graduate in two weeks, who cares right?”

“I guess,” I shrug.

“I actually have a specialist pitching coach from UNC meeting me at the field, were going over some things to prepare me for the season. It’s not normal they come out to individual players like this.”

“That’s awesome, Jake.” I smile proudly at him.

“Yeah…” He takes off his cap and runs his hand up and down the back of his head, and then puts it back on. Nervous habit, I’ve noticed. “It’s just that I might not be here when the funeral director comes…”

“Oh.” Oh.

He must sense my panic because he grabs both my hands and bends to look in my eyes.

“I can cancel, Kayla. It’s not a big deal, I’ll just call-"

“I’ll be fine, Jake,” I smile, hoping it comes out genuine, “just go, you have to, you being a big deal and all.” I try to laugh.

“Shut up and quit being cute.” He says, before flipping his cap backwards, hugging me tight and kissing my temple.

He makes his way into his room and gets his gear bag out of the closet, double checks everything is there, then we walk downstairs hand in hand.

I say goodbye to him at the door. He re-assures me that he’s going to try to get back to me as soon as possible.

***

A couple hours later the funeral director is sitting opposite me in the family room. He’s bought a bunch of brochures with him and they’re sprawled all over the coffee table. I space out through most of it, but I know that I have some decisions to make.

“Will the gathering afterwards be held at our establishment or elsewhere?” The funeral guy asks, his name is Wes, or Des, Les maybe? I’m not sure.

“It will be held here,” Mandy says.

I whip my head to face her, she just smiles and nods, leaving me speechless.

“Okay,” Wes/Des/Les confirms. “Have you got a budget in mind?” he asks me.

Me.

I shake my head.

He huffs out a breath, like I’m a useless nutjob.

“Have you got numbers on how many guests?”

Guests? Like it’s a fucking party.

I shake my head again, staring past him.

He sighs, a loud, audible, fucking sigh.

“Let’s have a look at the caskets then, shall we?” he says it like he’s ru

He hands me a brochure and I tense. I ca

In the distance, I hear a door open and close.

“Excuse me,” Mandy a

I’m still staring into space when I see Jake's face in my vision. He’s crouching in front of me, cap on backwards, hands on my face trying to get my attention. I focus on him, on his face, on his concerned look.

“Hey…” he whispers.

“Hi,” I return.

“Would you please give us a minute?” Aunt Lisa asks Wes/Des/Les a.k.a Dickface.

“No problem, I’ll just be outside.” He closes the family room door behind him.

“Are you okay, honey?” Lisa asks.

I nod my head, never taking my eyes off Jake.

“Honey, if you don’t mind, why don’t you let Mandy and I take care of this part?”