Troubles and Treats

She wraps her legs around my hips and uses her thigh muscles to pull me closer, my cock sliding deeper.  We both groan and I stop halfway in when I hear creaking.

I whip my head around and shoot a dirty look over my shoulder to the whole room in general.

Stop moving around, ghost!  You’re breaking my concentration.  If you’re going to watch, do it quietly.  AND DON’T TOUCH MY ASS!

I turn my head back around and concentrate on the task at hand.  Swinging my dick into my hot wife.

Ha ha!  Did I totally just make up an awesome pun or what?!

“Do me hard, you dirty slut,” Je

Oh hell yeah!  It’s fucking ON!

I push the rest of the way inside of her heat, and I want to stop and savor the feeling of being back inside my wife but the swing is swaying and causing me to rock my hips against her.

“This swing is fucking awesome!” I tell her as I grab onto her thighs, pull my dick almost all the way out of her, and then slam back home.

Je

I really should have taken my pants all the way off.  This shit is hard!  Ooooh, another pun right there, motherfuckers!

I’m basically waddling back and forth with the motion of the swing while at the same time, thrusting my hips in and out of Je

“Oh yes!  Faster, faster!” Je

Oh my God, the pressure!  If I go any faster this swing is going to take me out at the knees!  I need to make this swing my bitch and show it who’s boss.

I plant my feet as wide apart as I can with my jeans still wrapped around my ankles, let go of Je

“Yes!  Keep doing that!  Rub my ass with your knee, you whore!” Je

I am nothing if not attentive to my wife’s needs right now, so I do as she asks.  I hold onto the swing straps with both hands, lean back, keep my leg up, and rub my knee back and forth against her ass under the swing and keep moving my hips, thrusting in and out of her.

Je

Seriously, ghost.  Cut that shit out.  I know you’re there; you don’t need to advertise it.  Keep it down while you ghostly masturbate over there!

“I’m sorry I ever said anything about your vagina being floppy.  It’s totally not like fucking a sloppy joe at all!  You feel so good baby!” I tell her as I continue to pound into her, sweat breaking out on my forehead with all the things I have to remember to do to keep the swing in place.

“Call me a tramp!” Je

Fuck, best day ever!  Even with the pervy ghost in the corner and my arm and leg muscles threatening to give out.

“WHO’S MY TRAMP?!  WHO’S MY DIRTY HOOKER TRAMP?!” I shout as I pick up the pace and slam into her harder while her fingers move furiously over her clit.

“ME!  ME!  I’M YOUR DIRTY HOOKER TRAMP!  PAY ME, BIG DADDY, PAY ME!” she shouts.

“I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU A SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT TIP, YOU DIRTY WHORE!”

“YES!  YES!  GIVE ME THE TIP!  GIVE ME THE TIP!” Je

I know she’s only a second away from coming which is a damn good thing because I can’t hold off any longer.  My balls are about to explode like a fucking geyser.

“I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU A TIP AND LEAVE YOU SOME MINTS!  YOU WANT SOME FUCKING MINTS, YOU LITTLE SLUT?!” I yell in excitement as she tightens her thighs around my waist, and I feel her orgasm rush through her and squeeze my cock like a vise.

“OH MY GOD!  GIVE ME THE MINTS!  OH FUCK, I’M COMING!  MINTS, MINTS, MINTS! YES, YES!”

She’s thrashing her head and bucking her hips against me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop the swing from swaying, so I just hold on tight to the straps and thrust into her with all I’ve got, feeling my own orgasm tingle through my balls. I hear another creak, this one louder than all the others.

“YOU LIKE THAT, GHOST?  HUH?!  YOU LIKE BEING A PERVY CREEPER, JERKIN’ YOUR GHOSTLY GHERKIN?” I shout into the corner of the room.

Just as my orgasm barrels up through me and I start coming, I feel a hand on my ass and scream as loud as I can in fear while still plunging in and out of Je

“EEEEEEEK!  I’M COMING!  HOLY SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN, I’M COMING AND THERE’S A GHOST TOUCHING MY ASS!”

Mid orgasm, I reach back to swat the ghost’s hand off my ass and hear another creak, followed by a loud ripping sound and this orgasm feels so fucking good right now that I’m not really concerned with the fact that the pervert poltergeist is making so much noise.

While smacking my hand on my ass to keep the ghost away from it, I thrust as hard as I can one last time and the orgasm finishes so good it almost feels like I’m falling.

“OW!  SON OF A BITCH!” Je

I open my eyes and quickly realize that feeling of falling really was a feeling of falling.  I’m sprawled on top of Je

I crane my neck and look up at the giant hole in our ceiling.

“Wow, guess I should have secured that a little better, huh?”

Je

“Let’s do it again.  Go get the Skittles in the kitchen, a wooden spoon, and two containers of purple Play-Doh.”

Chapter 29 – Vagina Skittles

“Um, Whitney Houston, we have a problem.”

Je

“Problem?  What problem?  I was almost there, keep going,” she complains, letting her head fall back to the pillows.

“Yeah, and that would be the problem.  I can’t keep going, they’re stuck.”

Her head flies back up off of the pillow, and she slides her body up the bed until she’s resting her back against the headboard, my head slipping off of her hip as she goes.

“Stuck?!  What the hell do you mean stuck?!” she screeches.

I push myself up onto my knees and point between her legs.

“Stuck, as in, probably not coming out anytime soon because it was too slippery and they just sort of, shot off, deep into the heart of Texas,” I explain with a shrug.