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“Good,” I replied. I picked up another mug to dry, but my hand was shaking, so I stopped. “We’re good.”
“And, Ally … how’s your mom? How’s the wedding pla
His smile twitched and his voice broke when he said “wedding.” Guess he wasn’t cool with his ex-wife getting remarried. But from the grin he had on, he was trying to be. Kind of like I was trying to act normal even though I’d spent ninety percent of the day feeling like I could heave.
“Good,” Ally replied, shrugging. She looked at me instead of him. Ally wasn’t that psyched about the wedding either and I knew talking about it with her dad was tense. As much as I liked Mr. Ryan, I hated that her parents had put her in the middle of their gross love-triangle. “I haven’t really gotten that into it.”
“Don’t avoid it on my behalf, bud,” he said. “This is a huge deal for your mom. You should be there for her.”
She just stared at him. “If you say so.”
Mr. Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Are you two okay? You seem out of it.”
That was when Chloe walked in. Ally and I both froze. Chloe glanced around, and when she saw Ally, I think she almost backed out again. But then she changed her mind and came over. Then Keisha called Mr. Ryan over for some help with something.
“I’ll be back,” he promised, eyeing us.
“Great,” I said under my breath.
Luckily he didn’t hear me.
Chloe hung on to the strap of her bag as she stopped nearby. “Hi, guys.”
Ally stared down at her hands. Now she was the one who looked ready to heave.
“Hey,” I said.
I wiped my palms over and over on the towel. They were sweating like crazy.
“Um, Jake? Can I talk to you for a second?” Chloe asked.
Her eyes kept darting around. From me to Ally to Ally’s dad to the loud-ass losers by the window. She looked like she wanted to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. From the corner of my eye I saw Mr. Ryan head back to his office. Once the door was closed, I found my voice.
“What’s up?” I asked.
Chloe shot Ally a look. “Alone?”
My teeth clicked together. “Ally knows everything. We can talk here.”
Chloe touched her face, then her elbow, then her stomach. It was like she was uncomfortable in her own skin. Finally she let out a sigh.
“Fine. Okay. I was just wondering … I have a doctor’s appointment this Friday at five.” Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear her over the gurgling cappuccino machine behind me. “Would you come with me? Please? I don’t want to go alone.”
I felt like somebody had just flipped on one of those bright police spotlights right in my face. “Why?”
Ally’s eyes kind of bugged out. Chloe looked like she was about to cry. What? That wasn’t a valid question?
“Sorry. I just … I have practice, so …”
Ally looked away. She went digging in her bag like a raccoon in a garbage can. Okay. Clearly I was doing something wrong here.
“You can leave practice a few minutes early, right?” Chloe said. “I just … don’t think I can do this by myself and no one else knows, so …”
My stomach felt hollow. And even though this was about the last thing on the face of the earth I ever wanted to do, I couldn’t say no. Not with Chloe looking so scared and sad.
“Um, okay,” I said. “Sure.”
“Thanks.” Chloe put her keys down on the counter and pushed her hair back from her face with both hands. She sat down next to Ally and sort of slumped. Ally automatically put her hands up to steady her.
“Are you okay?” Ally asked.
“Yeah, I just … I need something to eat,” she said. “I get hungry and two seconds later, I get dizzy.” She looked at me. “Can I have a muffin or something?”
“Yeah.” I rushed to get one for her, snatching it out of the pastry case with the metal tongs and dropping it in front of her like a grenade. Chloe picked one of the crumbs off the top and placed it carefully on her tongue. She chewed it so slowly you’d think I’d fed her snails.
Ally and I stared at each other. I could tell she wanted me to say something, but what? I was so sure I’d say the wrong thing—kind of like I just had when she asked me to go to the doctor—that panic started to rise up inside my chest, blocking everything else out. Ally finally saved my ass.
“How are you … I mean, have you been feeling okay?” Ally asked her.
I felt this warm rush, guilty that I hadn’t been the one to ask, and grateful that Ally was being so cool. I clicked the tongs together at my side over and over again.
“Yeah. Just the dizziness,” Chloe said, slowly putting another crumb in her mouth. “And I’m nauseous in the mornings, until I eat.”
She reached for her bag and took out her wallet.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Paying for the muffin.”
“No. It’s fine. It’s on me,” I told her.
Ally kind of smiled, her lips tight and flat. At least I’d done something right.
“Thanks,” Chloe said. “I should go.” She slid off the stool, taking the muffin with her. “I’ll pick you up at the field on Friday?”
“Um, yeah,” I said.
Even though Hammond would probably kill me. I clenched the tongs together so tight I thought they might break.
“Actually, better let me meet you there,” I said. “I’m go
“Okay. I’ll text you the address,” Chloe said. She looked at Ally. “Thanks for being so cool about this. After what I said to you at Sha
Ally cleared her throat. She shifted on her stool and rubbed her palms together between her legs. “Don’t worry about it.” She cleared her throat again. “If you ever need anything …”
She trailed off and let the thought die. I wasn’t sure any of us believed it anyway.
Chloe looked at the floor. “Thanks. I’ll see you guys at school.”
Then she practically ran out. It took a second for me to start breathing again. The sophomores in the corner laughed suddenly and loudly, and I wanted to fling my tongs at their heads.
“That was cool of you,” Ally said. “Saying you’ll go with her.”
“Yeah,” I said, placing the tongs down on the counter. I leaned forward, my elbows on the marble, and put my hands over hers. “I can’t believe you were so nice to her.”
Ally’s eyebrows shot up. “I was? I totally froze.”
“No, really. You’re amazing,” I said, hanging my head. “And I suck.”
“You don’t suck,” she said lightly. She took one of her hands out and put it on top of mine. “This whole thing sucks.”
I nodded, and stared down at the mound of our tangled-up fingers. I was going to the doctor on Friday. The lady doctor. With the girl who was going to have my baby. I held on to Ally so tightly I was surprised she didn’t squirm. We just sat there like that for the longest time. Me clinging to her, her letting me, until the line at the register got too long to ignore, and I had to let go.
ally
Life’s just weird. One second there’s tons of stuff that matters so much it’s stressing you out like crazy. Like getting my recruitment website just right. Making lists of coaches and scouts to call once the season started. Figuring out which schools to apply to and whether I wanted to be close to home or far away. Last week, it was life-consuming.
But I hadn’t thought about any of it since Tuesday night. Not once.
On Friday morning, I sat at the huge island in the center of Gray’s kitchen, my Frosted Flakes getting soggier and soggier as I stared at the babycenter.com website on my computer. I’d gone there thinking I could maybe figure out what Chloe’s options were, and the first thing I’d seen was a due-date predictor. They wanted you to put in the date of your last period, and then they’d tell you when the baby was due. Of course, I had no idea when Chloe’s last period had been. When had they had sex? June? July? August? How pregnant was she, exactly? Did her baby look like a cell sac, or was it already the size of a walnut, like the picture in front of me?