This Is So Not Happening

He’d told me Chloe’s water had broken. Why he’d been there when it happened, I had no clue. He’d asked me for Will’s number, and I’d said I would call Will, but Jake had insisted. He had to be the one to do it. I’d hesitated. What if he said something awful to Will? I wouldn’t have put it past him. But Jake had begged, and he’d sounded so plaintive that I’d given in. And two minutes after we’d hung up, Will had called me and asked for a ride. Something about his dad being out on an emergency job and him not being able to find the keys to the other car.

And now here I was. But where was Jake? Clearly he was once again a part of this. Clearly he’d somehow come around to the fact that he cared. Should I let him know what was going on?

I stared down at my phone. There was a distinct flutter of hope around my heart. Hope that maybe Jake hadn’t changed beyond recognition. Maybe I should just try. Maybe I should just see. I typed a text.

WILL & I @ HOSP. CHLOE STILL IN LABOR. TNX 4 CALLING US.

I hit send before I could rethink it, and his text came back almost instantly.

GLAD U GUYS R W/HER. KEEP ME POSTED.

I leaned back in my chair and sighed. This night just could not get any weirder.

jake

I could hear voices inside Chloe’s hospital room. The door was cracked, but I couldn’t see who was in there. Was I supposed to knock? Walk in? Wait for whoever it was to leave? A nurse walked by me and shot me a sort of disturbed look, like maybe I was there to steal a baby or something. I flashed my visitor’s pass at her and knocked on the door.

God, please don’t let it be her dad in there. Or Will.

“Come in!”

Chloe and Ally both looked up. I froze and almost dropped the vase full of lilies. Ally was here. Oh, shit. Ally was here.

“Hi,” Chloe said.

“Hi,” Ally said.

I looked over my shoulder. “Um, I can come back.”

They exchanged one of those looks. Those looks between girls where it’s like they have an entire conversation without saying anything.

“It’s okay,” Chloe said eventually. “Come on in.”

I approached the corner of her bed awkwardly. She looked pretty good, but tired. Almost, like, droopy. Her hair was back and she had no makeup on and there were dark circles under her eyes. It seemed like forever that I just stood there with no clue what to say. There was only one chair in the room and Ally was in it.

“Here. Put those on the windowsill,” Ally said finally, standing up so I could slide by. My arm brushed hers and I felt like I was having a heart attack.

I put the flowers down next to the other ones—there were a lot—and Ally sat down again. If I wanted to get out of the two-foot space between me and Chloe’s bed, I would have to step over her knees. I cleared my throat and leaned my butt back against the windowsill. I hadn’t been this close to Ally in ages. It was torture.

Ally and Chloe both stared at me.

“So,” I said finally. “Um, how was it?”

Chloe scoffed and looked past me out the window. “It sucked.”

I nodded. My collar prickled. My palms were slick. Ally was looking at me like she’d never seen a guy before. Was she surprised I was here, or did she think that I shouldn’t be?

“Did you … I mean, did you get to see the baby?” I asked.

Chloe shook her head and a tear slipped down her face. Shit.

“She doesn’t even know what she had,” Ally told me quietly. “Boy or girl. She told them she didn’t want to know.”

I nodded again. My heart felt four times as heavy as usual. What was I doing here? What was I supposed to say? I looked at Ally. I just wanted to grab her and pull her out of here and go do something normal with her. Like get a burger or go for a walk or see a movie. But I couldn’t do that. Because we weren’t together. Because she hated me. Because there were huger things going on right now.

“Is there anything I can do?” I asked.

“You’ve done enough,” Chloe said.

My insides dropped. Was she mad at me? Again?

“I’m sorry. That didn’t come out the way I meant it,” Chloe said. She wiped her eyes with both hands and grabbed a tissue from a cart next to her bed. “You guys, thank you so much for last night. For getting Will here. I mean it. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

She blew her nose noisily and the tears came faster. I clenched my hands. I’d never been more uncomfortable in my life.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.” Ally got up and went over to Chloe’s bed, sitting down right next to her. She put her arm around Chloe, and Chloe leaned into her, crying.

Ally stared at me. I turned up my palms like What should I do?

She kind of jerked her head toward the door. I didn’t think it was possible to feel any worse, but that did it. That killed me. I stood up and wiped my palms on my jeans.

“Um … Chloe, I’m just go

She nodded, sobbing, and pressed her eyes closed. On my way to the door, I shot one look over my shoulder at Ally, hoping for something, I don’t know what. But she wasn’t looking at me. She had pulled her knees up onto the bed and turned toward Chloe completely. It was like I was already gone.

april

I heard it was a boy.

           I heard it was a girl.

I heard she had twins. One of each.

No! It wasn’t twins. It was a baby with two heads. One looked like Jake and one looked like Will.

Okay. You have been reading way too many supermarket ’zines.

           What if, like, neither one of them was the father? What if it came out looking all, like, Asian or something?

Omigod. Do you think that’s why she hasn’t come back to school? Is she afraid Will and Jake are go