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The rest of the team turned to look at me, and my fingers curled into fists. In that moment, I hated Jake. I couldn’t help it. Sha
“Are you with us, Ryan?” Coach asked.
“I’m with you, Coach,” I said, clenching my jaw. “Let’s beat these losers.”
The team cheered and clapped, several of them slapping me on the back, and we got down to our game plan. From that moment on, Jake was no longer an issue. He wasn’t even on my radar.
jake
When the doorbell rang that night, I half expected it to be Will, stopping by for round two. I trudged over to the door in my sweats and glanced out. It was Ally, freshly showered after the game. For the first time ever, I just wanted her to go away. Because just seeing her standing there made me feel like an asshole.
I opened the door. A light, freezing drizzle was coming down from the sky.
“Hey,” she said quietly. I’d never seen anyone look at me with that much hurt, pity, and anger.
“Hey.”
I released the door handle and started back across the foyer, turning my back to her. Not wanting to look in her eyes any longer than I had to. Figuring she’d follow.
“I don’t know if I’m coming in.”
I stopped. My heart shriveled. What the hell did that mean? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. I set my jaw, resolving not to let her see me sweat. If she was going to end it, just let her end it.
“What does that mean?” I asked her.
She blinked and shuddered in the cold, pulling her jacket tighter. “Aren’t you even going to ask me if we won?”
“Did you win?” I asked, placing one hand on the doorknob and the other on the far side of the doorjamb, as if I was blocking her way.
“Yeah.” Her voice broke. “I scored the game-wi
“That’s great,” I said, my voice sour. “Aren’t you even go
Ally titled her head. “Oh, did he?” she said sarcastically. “I’m so sorry for you. Poor, poor Jake. Almost got hurt in the fight he started.”
“Why are you being such a bitch?” I blurted.
Her jaw dropped, but I kept going. My defenses were up, and I was keeping them there.
“I’m the one who got hauled off by the police tonight,” I said, bringing a hand to my chest. “I’m the one who got suspended for a week. I’m the one who almost had to get stitches thanks to that asshole.”
Ally scoffed and shook her head. “God! Do you even hear yourself? I may be a bitch sometimes, but at least I’m not a big, whining baby.”
She turned around and started to walk away, headed for her mom’s car, which she’d parked near the end of the driveway.
“I’m not a baby!” I shouted after her.
“Whatever, Jake,” she said, lifting a hand but not turning. “I’ll see you around.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
She paused at the driver’s side door. For a long second, she just stared at the window, the icy raindrops sticking to her hair. Then she popped the handle and looked up at me. All of a sudden I remembered what she’d looked like the first day I met her, right here in this driveway on a hot, su
“It means I’m done,” she said. “We’re over. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Take what?” I shouted, my voice harsh. I felt like she was yanking my heart out through my mouth. “What can’t you take anymore?”
“You! This! All the negativity and the cruelty and the violence!” she shouted back. “I keep waiting for you to get past it, for you to go back to being you … the sweet, thoughtful, and yeah, maybe sometimes dense, but also cool guy I fell in love with! But clearly that’s not going to happen.”
I clenched my jaw. “Yeah, well, maybe this is me,” I said, even though I knew it wasn’t. Even though I hated me right then almost as much as she did. But it wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t stop feeling like this no matter what I did. I’d tried to stop feeling sad and angry every second of every day, but I just couldn’t.
“I hope not, Jake,” Ally said, shaking her head. “That would just be sad.”
Then she got in her car and drove away.
ally
“Welcome to Guys Suck Day!”
Standing in the open doorway at the front of her house, A
“You didn’t dress up!” she whined, closing the door as I stepped inside.
“I thought you were kidding,” I replied. I shook off my coat and hung it on the overloaded hooks near the door, covering up someone else’s leather jacket. I paused. Wait a sec. That jacket looked familiar.
“Surprise!”
Hand over my heart, I faced the kitchen, where Sha
“Um, A
“I’m aware. The things I do for my best friend,” A
I laughed, but I was touched. A
“Ally!” Faith walked over and threw her arms around me. She had on so much perfume that my mouth filled with the sour, flowery taste of it. “Ohhhhh! It sucks to break up right before Valentine’s!”
“Hey!” A
“Ow! God! Sorry!” Faith said, rubbing her scalp.
“So what do we do on Guys Suck Day?” I asked, joining the others at the table.
Trying to get into the spirit, I took a handful of M&M’s and started to munch on them. But even chocolate couldn’t chase away the gray cloud that had settled all around me ever since I’d driven away from Jake’s house three nights ago. For the last time. My heart clenched every time I thought about it—the look on his face, the effort it took not to turn around. But I knew I was doing the right thing. Jake was no good for me anymore. He wasn’t even good for himself. I just wished I could get my heart to believe it.
“We watch girl-power movies,” Chloe said, fa
“Cool,” I said, nodding.
“Eat tons of junk food and drink tons of wine,” Sha
“And, if we get drunk enough, we call all the boys we hate and tell them to suck it,” A
My stomach turned over at the thought of drunk-dialing Jake and making an ass out of myself. “Let’s not get drunk enough,” I said, taking the bottle and setting it aside.
“Buzz kill,” A
“Where are your parents, anyway?” I asked.
“Not here,” A
“There’s also dancing, apparently,” Chloe said over her shoulder as she sat down on the larger of the two mustard-colored couches. She dropped the movies onto the coffee table and leaned back, arms around her belly. “But after what happened at my birthday I think I’ll sit that part out.”