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“We were broken up!” Jake snapped angrily. “God! I thought we were done with this.”
“Yeah, well, I guess not,” I said, pushing my chair back. I wanted to storm out, but I couldn’t. I needed more from him. I needed him to say that he’d talk to Chloe. That he cared enough about knowing the truth. That he cared more about being with me than hurting her feelings. “Don’t you think you should just ask her again?” I said. “See what she says? This is a huge deal, Jake. For you and for Will.”
“I know it’s a huge deal, Ally!” he whisper-shouted angrily. “Do you think you know better than me what a huge fucking deal this is? I’ve seen the baby. I’ve seen it roll over and kick and suck its thumb. There’s a baby out there that’s mine and sometimes all I can think about is that I never even get to name him or talk to him or see him play soccer. I’m dealing with that. Maybe you’re the one who’s not.”
Suddenly I saw something in his eyes that stopped me cold. It was fear. Just the tiniest flicker, but it was there. He was scared of asking about Will again. He was scared he might find out he wasn’t the father.
Jake wanted the baby to be his.
And I was going to be sick.
“I have to go,” I said, standing, trying not to cry in front of him.
“Ally, wait. I’m sorry,” Jake said.
“Forget it,” I said.
I shoved through the door and onto the wintry sidewalk, the bell jangling jauntily above my head. I’d gotten about five steps along the salted sidewalk when my dad came after me.
“Ally! Wait up!”
I whirled around, took one look at my father in his brown apron and T-shirt, his breath making fog clouds in the frigid air, his eyes concerned, and I burst into tears.
“What is it?” he asked, hugging me to him. “What just happened?”
For the splittest of seconds I considered not telling him. He loved Jake. And he was Jake’s boss. I didn’t want to take their good relationship away from them. But then, screw that. He was my dad first.
“Chloe’s pregnant,” I sputtered into his chest. “And Jake might be the father.”
“What?” my father croaked, stepping back so I could look at him. “I’ll kill him. I’ll kill the little—”
“We were broken up when it happened, Dad,” I said, sniffling. Always protecting Jake. Even when my heart was breaking. “You don’t have to kill anyone.”
My father shifted and brought his fist to his mouth for a second. It looked like it was taking all his self-control to keep from ru
“Are you okay?” he asked finally.
“No,” I replied, a fresh wave of tears choking me.
My dad looked at the light traffic on Orchard Avenue. The sky was pitch-black in the way only a winter sky could be, and only a few crazy people had braved the cold. He hooked his arm around my neck. “Come on.”
“Where’re we going?” I asked.
“To my place.”
My dad lived in an apartment across the street from Jump, right above the town apothecary where the rich moms bought all their magic youth-making potions.
“But aren’t you working?” I asked as we crossed the street.
“I don’t think I should be anywhere near Jake Graydon right now, and you are in desperate need of a warm blanket and a junk fest.” He hugged me a bit closer to his side and I tilted my head against his shoulder. One thing I had always loved about my dad? He always knew exactly what I needed.
I wished, not for the first time, that we were both going home to my mom, instead of home to his place. That we could all curl up on the couch together, eat crap, and watch bad movies like we used to. That we could be a family again. But I had to take what I could get.
And now, at least, everyone knew. Mom, Dad, friends. At least that awfulness was over. I just wished I knew where I stood with Jake. I glanced over my shoulder at the window-walls of Jump, Java, and Wail! but I couldn’t see him at the counter or anywhere, and for this one weird, out-of-body moment, I felt like he was just gone. Like I was never going to see him again.
ally
Monday afternoon I was the first person dressed and on the court for basketball practice. I stood at the free throw line with the ball rack next to me, shooting one after the other after the other. Every time, the ball slammed against the backboard and ricocheted off in another direction. And every time, I saw someone else’s face.
Jake.
Chloe.
Will.
Hammond.
Lincoln.
Apparently I was pissed at the world.
But mostly, I was pissed at Jake. And myself. And I was tired. Tired of feeling like second-ru
I took a shot, and the ball sailed clear over the net, the backboard, everything.
“Ugh!”
I let another ball fly. It hit the backboard hard and boomeranged right toward my face. Luckily I got my arms up in time. Sha
“If you need someone to rearrange your face, your boyfriend’s father’s a plastic surgeon. I’m sure he’ll give you a reduced rate,” she said wryly.
I grabbed a ball and set up for the shot. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure how much longer he’s going to be my boyfriend.” Somehow, saying it out loud made me feel both nauseous and free at the same time. I let the ball fly over her head. She reached up and blocked it down into her other hand.
“What?”
I tipped my head back and trudged over to the bleachers. The rest of the team was trickling out from the locker room and starting to warm up. I dropped down onto the bottom bench and Sha
“If I tell you this, you cannot tell anyone,” I said. “Swear on your mother’s life.”
“I swear,” Sha
I took in a sharp breath. She was referencing the very public way in which she’d spilled my father’s big secret last spring. But that was different and we’d both been trying to put it behind us ever since. Besides, there was no video of this particular secret in action.
God, I hoped there wasn’t.
“Look, I get it if you don’t want to tell me,” Sha
“Wait.”
I did want someone to talk to. Someone with a new perspective. A
Sha
“Chloe and Will Halloran had a thing this summer. Like, a serious thing,” I whispered, turning my face toward hers so far I touched my chin to my shoulder.
“Oh my God.” Sha