Shut Out

I didn’t understand why it was okay for Cash to flirt with every girl he met and never commit to any of them when, if a girl did the same thing, the guys would call her a cock tease. Guys were such jerks.

“I’m sure,” I replied, probably with more of an edge to my voice than was fair, but it bugged me that he was comparing me to my worst enemy, and it bugged me even more that he had the gall to flirt with me.

The elevator didn’t seem to be moving anymore, but the doors hadn’t opened, either. I jabbed the button again, and we lurched upward, as if the contraption had stopped between floors, forgetting to move on. This could not be safe.

“You okay?” Cash asked.

“Yes. I just want to get off this thing.”

Suddenly his hand was over mine, and I realized that I’d been tapping my knuckles against the cart of books. “Don’t be nervous,” he said, squeezing lightly.

I stared up at him, surprised to find concern in his green eyes.

“I should have asked you if you were claustrophobic.”

“I—What?”

“Isn’t that why you’re such a stressball right now and didn’t want to use the elevator? My cousin’s the same way.”

“Um… yes. Right. That’s it.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have talked you into this.”

“I’ll be okay,” I said, and despite everything, I couldn’t help letting out a little laugh.

“Well, it’s almost over,” Cash said. “Looks like the doors are about to open.”

And sure enough, they did. The noisy elevator screeched as it finally halted on the second floor and the metal doors slid aside. Cash removed his hand from mine—it felt like a little jab at my chest—and we pushed the cart out onto the floor.

“All right, start shelving,” I said, trying to regain my composure. “Someone might be looking for one of these.”

“Like The Velveteen Rabbit?” Cash gri

I opened my mouth to argue that I was so not like Je

“Touché,” I said.

He grabbed a few books and walked over to one of the shelves, smiling at me as he passed.

I smiled back, then scolded myself for it. It had taken me nearly a year to relax around Randy, and sometimes it was still a challenge. It shouldn’t have been so easy with Cash.

As quickly as it had appeared, my smile slipped away.

chapter seven

Randy and I had our first big fight this past June, right after school let out. We’d broken up, and I was devastated. But on a hot night in July, Chloe decided to get me out of my funk and drag me to a party at Vikki McPhee’s house.

“Come on,” she’d said, pulling me from my bedroom that night. “You’ll never get over Randy if you don’t put yourself out there. A few meaningless hookups are exactly what you need right now.”

When we’d arrived at the party, Chloe gave me a once-over and sighed. “I still can’t believe you’re wearing that. You have some sexy clothes. Why aren’t you rocking them?”

I rolled my eyes and edged past her into the house. The place already smelled like beer and pot, and the walls were practically shuddering against the pounding bass of the stereo. I wrapped my arms around myself and moved toward the perimeter of the room, staying close to the wall. I wanted to fall through the floor. This kind of chaos wasn’t what I needed right then. Or ever.

Chloe ran up beside me. “Let’s get something to drink.”

“You know I don’t drink,” I said.

“For once in your life, can’t you just let go? Lose control a little? You might actually enjoy not agonizing over every little thing.”

I shook my head.

“Have it your way,” she said, shrugging. “But please, promise me you’ll go talk to people? Have a little bit of fun tonight, okay?”

“Fine.”

She squeezed my shoulder before hurrying off toward Vikki’s kitchen. I pressed my back against the wall and looked around. More people were arriving, and many were already dancing and shouting along with the music. In the corner, I saw a side table topple over when a boy fell backward onto it. I cringed. I had to get out of there.

Keeping my word to Chloe, I said a quick, “Hey, how are you?” to Kelsey as she passed me, wearing an expensive-looking white sundress. She gave an a

With my task complete, I edged around the living room and headed toward the back door. Leaving the party wasn’t an option, since Chloe was my ride—as usual—but I could at least get out of this room.

The sun had just set when I pushed open the door to the back porch. But instead of finding the backyard empty, I discovered Cash Sterling sitting on the steps.

“Oh, sorry,” I muttered, my hand still on the door. “I’ll leave.”

He was sitting on the top step of the wooden porch, one of his legs pulled up to his chest while the other stretched out toward the steps below him. His chin had been resting thoughtfully in his hand, but when he heard me, his head turned in my direction.

“Hey,” he said. And I thought I saw his eyes light up a little, though it could have just been the flickering porch light playing tricks. “No. Stay. I don’t mind.”

Even though I’d wanted to be alone, I decided that Cash would be better company than the crowd inside Vikki’s living room. I shut the door and walked over to sit beside him on the steps. The smile he gave me was so sweet, so warm, that even in my bad mood, I couldn’t help smiling back at him.

I didn’t really know Cash that well. We’d had a few classes together, and back before Ellen and I had stopped talking I would see him hanging out with Adam, her boyfriend. We’d talked maybe twice, but we’d never been alone together. Until now.

“So what are you doing out here?” I asked. “Already tired of the party?”

Cash laughed. “I guess you could say that. It’s not really my thing. A few of the guys from the soccer team asked me to play designated driver, though. So I agreed to help out. How about you?”

“My best friend made me come.”

“Why? I mean, if you don’t want to be here…”

“She thinks it’ll be good for me,” I explained. “My boyfriend and I… Well, we just split up, and she decided it would be good for me to be social.”

Cash looked away, and I watched as his sneaker scuffed against the wooden step a few feet below us. “So you and Randy aren’t together now?”

I almost asked how he knew who my boyfriend was, but I stopped myself. The answer was obvious. Randy was the quarterback, one of the most popular boys in school. Everyone knew who he was dating. Not to mention, Hamilton boasted only about a hundred students per graduating class. It was almost difficult not to be aware of who dated whom.

“Yes.”

“How long ago?”

“Three weeks.”

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t sound sorry, though. I couldn’t read his tone—caught somewhere between indifference and smugness. I almost stood up and walked back inside then. Almost ran away from his insensitivity.

But before I could move, he turned to face me again, freezing me on the spot with his gorgeous eyes. “Have you ever played the Star Game?”

I just blinked at him.

Cash’s cheeks turned just the slightest bit red before he elaborated. “You have to be here because of your friend, and I’m driving home guys who won’t want to leave until the keg is empty. We’re going to be out here awhile, so we might as well find some way to entertain ourselves, you know? So have you ever played the Star Game?”

“What’s the Star Game?” I asked.

“Well… technically, it’s this thing I saw Russell Crowe do in a movie once, but I just kind of turned it into a way to pass the time.” He looked up at the sky, which had now become dark enough to make out the vast number of summer stars. “Okay, pick a shape,” he said.