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Later, after di
I sighed and sat down on my bed. “I had a stomachache.”
He frowned at me. “Really, Whit?”
“Whitley,” I corrected automatically.
“I don’t believe you,” he said. “About the stomachache.”
“I just didn’t want to, okay?”
That wasn’t entirely a lie.
The truth was that I hadn’t wanted to ruin it. Dad and the Caulfields were perfect together. They were a family. A beautiful family. More of a family than Mom, Dad, Trace, and I had been, even before the divorce. Nathan and Bailey had both tried to make me feel welcome, but I still didn’t belong. I was the puzzle piece that didn’t fit.
Nathan watched me for a long moment. Then he sat down on the bed next to me, one arm curving around my shoulders. I couldn’t tell if the gesture was meant to be platonic or romantic. I couldn’t tell which I wanted it to be.
“Well, I hate for you to miss out on all the fun,” he said. “So why don’t you join Bailey and me for movies tonight?”
“Nathan…”
“I want you to,” he said firmly. “And so will she.”
I forced a smile. “Okay. But I’m not watching Bring It On again.”
“Damn. I am just so heartbroken by that,” he joked.
I tried to call Trace after Nathan had gone, but I only got his voice mail.
Trace had a family now, too. A gorgeous wife and daughter. A family of his own. One I wasn’t part of.
And no matter whose fault it was, Mom and I hadn’t been a family in a long time.
I didn’t know who I was without the parties or drinking or boys that had been my life for the past four years. I had nothing. No one. I didn’t know where I belonged anymore.
“You have one unheard message…. First unheard message.”
“Whitley, it’s your mom. I haven’t heard from you in a while, and I just wanted to check in. Trace says he’s talked to you a few times, but I haven’t, so… give me a call? I miss you, honey. I hope you’re having fun…. But listen, if anything’s going on with your father, you can let me know and—”
“Message deleted.”
“Physics?”
“No. No science.”
“Politics?”
“No.”
“Psychology?”
“I’m too screwed up to be a psychologist.”
“Oh, what about Russian? Russian could be cool.”
I looked at Harrison over the top of my sunglasses. We were lying in lawn chairs by the pool. The UK course catalog was in Harrison’s lap, and he’d flipped to the list of majors.
“Russian? Really, Harrison?”
“I took Russian in high school,” Nathan said, climbing out of the pool. He’d decided to swim laps that afternoon instead of going to the gym.
“Did you?” Harrison asked, gri
“Yeah.” Nathan grabbed his towel from the little patio table and began dabbing at his face. “But the only thing I remember is, Mozhno li kopirovat vashi domashnie zodaneeye?”
“Let me guess,” I said. “You just asked me where the bathroom is, right?”
“No.” He scoffed, flicking his wet towel at me. “I was beyond that basic stuff. I took two years of it. Give me some credit.”
“Then what does it mean?” I asked.
“It means, ‘Can I copy your homework?’ ”
Harrison laughed, as if this were the fu
“Every morning before class started.” He gri
“Have a nice night, Nathan!” Harrison called out. We both watched him go, and when the screen door closed, Harrison added quietly, “Now, I would major in that.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m just saying.” He looked down at the catalog again. “We’re almost at the end of the list, Whitley. Unless you want to look in the Engineering school—but I’m assuming you don’t.”
“Definitely not.”
“You like music,” he said. “Ever thought of majoring in it?”
I cringed. Theo was a music major. That night, I’d even said I might consider it. Now I knew I never would.
“I don’t play anything,” I told Harrison. “Besides, I don’t think you study Nirvana or Blondie or the Ramones in college. I’d get bored with all the classical shit.”
“Fashion?”
“UK doesn’t have a fashion school.”
“Come out to L.A. with me, then,” he said. “Be my roommate, and I’ll dress you every day. You know you want to.”
That actually didn’t sound too bad. Trace was in Los Angeles. And the whole reason I’d picked UK was because it was Dad’s alma mater. I always thought I wanted to be like him. Not so much anymore.
“I can’t. UK’s already been paid.”
Harrison sighed. “Then I don’t know what to tell you. Any ideas what you want to do after college? What makes you happy?”
That was the million-dollar question. Because I honestly had no idea. Drinking had made me happy, but there wasn’t a major in alcoholism, to the best of my knowledge.
When I didn’t answer, Harrison changed the subject. “Hey, I’m going out with Wesley and Bianca tonight. Want to join us so I don’t have to be a third wheel?”
I shook my head.
“Why not?”
“I don’t think his girlfriend likes me too much,” I said.
“Bianca? Why do you think that?”
“Because the first time she met me I was trying to seduce her boyfriend. Pretty sure that pissed her off a little.”
Harrison laughed. “Well, you wouldn’t be the first. But she’ll get over it. Come out with us. Di
“No, I… I think I’d rather stay in.”
“Whitley,” he said, frowning. “You’ve stayed in every night since the party at my place. Have you even left the house? Been to the grocery store? Anything?”
I didn’t answer.
“What happened with Theo isn’t going to happen again,” he said quietly. “I promise. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”
“It’s not that… not just that. Look, I don’t want to go out, okay? I’m sorry.”
He studied me for a while longer, his green eyes narrowing, dark eyebrows pulled together just a little. Then, finally, he nodded. “Fine. Okay, let’s see what other majors are listed here…. Oh, sociology?”
“No.”
22
Sylvia had to work the day Gwyneth’s Bridal Boutique called to say I needed to come in and try on my bridesmaid dress. Bailey’s had been done for a while; now it was my turn. It was the first time I’d left the house in two weeks. You’d think I would have been getting cabin fever, but this was a trip I wasn’t looking forward to. Especially once I found out Harrison wasn’t working that day—which meant I’d have to deal with Sexy Lexie. If my dress wasn’t enough to make me self-conscious, having Lexie around certainly did the trick.
“Come out, Whit.”
“No.”
“Whit.”
“No.”
Like I said, Sylvia was at work, and Dad had some sort of meeting at the station that afternoon, so Nathan drove me to the fitting.
“I won’t laugh,” he assured me from outside the dressing room. “I promise.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I really don’t have all day,” I heard Lexie say with exasperation. “There are two others coming in for fittings today.”
I gritted my teeth, trying to convince myself that my a
I took a deep breath and ran my hands over the dress, smoothing a few tiny wrinkles in the front. There was no mirror behind the curtain, so I could only guess how it looked. The sleeves had already been cut and the hem shortened to knee-length, but nothing could be done to fix the color. I could not believe I would be forced to wear this thing in front of a large crowd in, like, a month and a half.