Weak for Him

The way he kissed me so sweetly on the lips that night in bed and how he did little things to make sure I was taken care of. The thought of that side of him took my breath away. Even the way his eyes said sorry the day he was handed the golden envelope with my destiny written inside. Every memory of him, conjured something deep inside that I constantly forced myself to suppress because I had to, because I had signed my rights away, because we were over it.

If I had known being an Elite would be hard, that the man that haunted my dreams really lived, and that I would not be able to love, I would have never done it. Love was such a powerful emotion, and something that I would never fully experience as long as I was Elite.

What had I truly gotten myself into?

"Fucking Fi

"You rang?"

My heart palpitated at the sound of his voice, and I wanted to pretend as if he were just a figment of my imagination. But he wasn't. I knew he wasn't. I couldn't turn around and look at him. Lividness filled me.

The water moved and I knew he had dipped himself inside of the hot tub; his toes touched the outside of my leg. When I opened my eyes, he wore that boyish grin on his face and I wanted to slap it off.

"Feisty, little thing, aren't you?"

The amusing tone in his voice angered me even more.

Silent treatment from here on out.

I closed my eyes, sunk deeper into the water, and leaned my head against the edge.

"Je

I opened my eyes immediately and stared at Fi

"Luke is really pissed at me, and I don't blame him. He threatened to sue me and come over and take you to his house like a caveman. I laughed at him and told him to try. But really? Who does he think he is? The look on his face when I walked in. Priceless."

"You are such an asshole"

"Oh. So you are talking? Fantastic."

I groaned.

"I thought it was cute that he really thought I would let him go through with taking your virginity. Did he? Did you? Really, Je

I had no words. His voice turned cold, animalistic.

"You are mine. I've told you time and time before. No one will take that away from me. No one, not even my stupid, little brother."

Realization set in.

The eyes. The accent. The way they treated one another.

"Holy fuck. How?

"Oh what? Little Luketon didn't tell you? We have the same mother." Fi

The rushing water no longer took me away from my thoughts. Not with Fi

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It isn't my job to tell you about my family. My job is to be your boss and to offer the best prices and protection for my girls while ensuring my customers experience quality service. I did that. I accomplished it. But sometimes, not often, I decide that the rules are not playing by my own. So I change them. With family involved, it makes it much easier."

"It's not just your family you're playing with. It's my emotions, too. "

"Even more reason to stop it before it happened."

"What about Nancy, Fi

He didn't answer.

I stood.

The water swooshed over the edges and splashed onto the cement ground. Before I could get my foot over the side, Fi

"You can't be mad at me."

Our faces were so close to one another, so incredibly close.

"Let me go."

I struggled to get away, but his firm grasp was ever holding.

"No."

"I don't want to be around you right now."

"I don't care."

"You should. I don't like you very much at the moment."

"I still don't care. I want you to sit with me and enjoy this beautiful night."

"No. Let. Go."

He grabbed my face with his hands and slammed his lips against mine. He sucked on my bottom lip and I tried to force him away, but his kisses were unwavering. My heart raced as he ran his hands through my wet hair, and the wall of anger slowly crumbled, and I began to kiss him back. As much as I wanted to pull away, I was kissing him. Stupid body. With that, all the emotions that I had locked away released. He lifted me on top of him, and I could feel him, long and hard as I straddled his legs. Once I pulled my lips away, I reared my hand back and slapped his face as hard as I could with my wet hand.

"I'm sick of the fucking games," I said.

He moved closer until his nose almost touched mine. With a tilt of his head, he softly brushed his open lips against mine. We didn't kiss, but my breath caught, and so did his. I tried to swallow, but my throat was parched because I was thirsty, but not only for water. Every emotion that I suppressed was stuffed back into the basement of my heart. I was fucking done with him.

I stood from the hot tub and walked naked through the house to the shower. I didn't give a damn if I tracked water over the wood floor.

Fi

With the shower water turned on hot, I stood underneath until it burned my skin.

I needed to feel alive.

I wanted to scorch the confusion away.

Twenty-five

I stepped from the shower and toweled off my body. My reflection displayed the face of the saddest girl in the world, who continued to go on about her ways with nothing more than a pretty face, slim waist, and a million problems. I wrapped the towel around my head and stalked to my bedroom.

As I sat on the edge of the bed, I wished Lori was home. She had been gone way too long, and I missed the camaraderie that we shared, her good advice, and silly poetic sayings. She understood me, probably the only person in this house that did.

I slipped on a t-shirt and pajama pants, and turned on the TV. I wanted to get lost in stupid zombies who ate out people's hearts. That would make me feel better.

The door clicked, and Fi

But he didn't.

Instead, he jerked the cord from the wall, and stood with his arms crossed.

"Do you love him?"

I stared up at the ceiling and refused to answer. I didn't know the answer to the question. Was it love? I couldn't give a clear answer.