Faithful

Just then, someone started knocking on my truck window. I turned to see Gu

I took a deep breath as I tried to remember everything Jeff had told me. I opened the door and got out as Gu

“Josh! I’m going to hug you!” Matt yelled as he grabbed me by the legs and hugged me. “I’ve missed you, Josh, you assmole!”

Did he just call me an assmole?

I glanced back up at Gu

No?

“Holy shit! Did he just try to call me an asshole?” I laughed harder. I bent down and got face-to-face with Matt.

“Dude!” Gu

When I glanced back at him, he mouthed, Don’t laugh when he swears.

Oh shit, that’s right! Jeff warned me about that. “Oh, right! Sorry, but that was some fu

“I wa

“Nice, dude. Ari’s going to be so pissed off at you,” Jeff said.

Gu

I smiled as I thought about Heather asking me the same thing while I’d watched her make pancakes this morning. She’d been wearing a pair of my boxer shorts—at least I hoped like hell they were mine—and one of my old UT football shirts.

“Almost feel normal again. Doesn’t hurt either that I have the most beautiful girl in the world living with me at my parents’ house!” I said as I watched Matt ru

Jeff walked up and gently hit me on the back. “You remember anything at all from spending more time with Heather?”

I shook my head. I was starting to get frustrated. “No, nothing. I feel something for her though. I feel like I just need her so much, and it scares the fuck out of me. I just want to be around her all the damn time. I wake up, thinking about her, and go to sleep, thinking about her. What the fuck is that?”

Gu

Love? I knew that I loved her before the accident. Do I love her now? Is that what this is?

Jeff started laughing, too, as he shook his head. “Don’t push it, Josh. It’ll come back, dude, and you’ll remember exactly how head over heels in love you were with Heather.”

I sure hoped they were both right. I could see the pain in her eyes every day. She would try to hide it, but I knew she wanted so much more from me. I also knew the only reason she took a leave from her job was to keep Tori away as much as possible. I shook my head and let out a small laugh.

“What’s so fu

“It just blows my mind she would leave her job to stay with me. I mean, I’m fine now. My mother is treating me like I can’t do a damn thing. Do you think she asked Heather to stay with me? Or do you think it was Heather’s idea?” I asked as I helped Gu

Gu

No fucking way. I was right.

“Well, fuck me, I knew it,” I said, laughing.

Gu

“Some girl named Lynda called me the other day. I asked my mother about her, and she pretty much gave me the lowdown of what she knew. She basically told me to keep the fuck away from this chick. She mentioned Lynda was your cousin.”

Gu

After getting everything loaded in my truck, we all got in and headed out. Matt was a hoot. That kid had me in stitches, and I could feel my side every time I laughed. I loved that he knew all the words to Blake Shelton’s “Boy’s ’Round Here.” We had to play it over and over for him. I loved him already.

Shit! There was that love word again. Fuck. I must have really changed.

I could hear Jeff and Matthew laughing in the backseat as we got closer to the lake. I smiled, thinking about Jeff and Gu

I want to have kids with Heather.

“Holy fucking shit! What the hell?” I said without thinking.

“What the hell!” Matthew called out from the backseat.

“Josh!” Jeff and Gu

I needed air. When I saw a store, I pulled in. I jumped out of the truck and started taking deep breaths.

Gu

“Matt, stay in the truck buddy, Jeff said.

“Jesus H. Christ, Josh, stop swearing in front of Matt. Ari’s go

“Really, motherfucker? I’m having a moment of sheer panic right now, and that’s what you’re worried about?” I asked.

Jeff shrugged his shoulder. “Hey, I can’t help it if you don’t remember how Ari is about this kind of shit,” he said with a shit-eating grin.

Gu

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I looked back and forth between Jeff and Gu

“Good god, son, spit that shit out. I want to get in some fishing at some point today,” Jeff said as he leaned up against the truck.

“It’s just…I heard you laughing with Matt, and then I thought about the two of y’all being dads, and how much I love that kid in the backseat, and I don’t even know him, and then I thought…I thought…”

Gu

“Why the fuck are you smiling at me like that?” I asked.

“You thought what, Josh?” Gu

I took a deep breath. “I thought it would be nice to have kids with Heather.” Bending over, I put my hands on my knees, taking more deep breaths. Oh. My. God. I said it out loud!

Jeff pushed off the truck and smiled as Gu

“Yes!” Gu

“You, my friend, are on your way back. Come on, let’s go catch some fish.” He turned and walked back to the truck, giving Jeff a high five on the way.

What in the hell just happened?

I looked down at Matt. He seemed like he was in pure heaven. Jeff had said the feel of the boat on the water made Matt feel calm. It had been a great afternoon so far. We talked about everything from fishing to the girls to trucks to my stupid-ass birthday party tomorrow.