Страница 23 из 70
A few minutes later, my adrenaline levels gradually easing back to normal, I sip chamomile tea, watching Mom spread linen pantsuits and summer sweaters on her bed. You’d think this would be Tracy’s job; she’s the one who thinks in terms of outfits and lays out her clothes the night before. But for some reason, it’s always been mine.
“Here’s what I have,” Mom says. “It’s a luncheon at the Garden Club, then I need to go to a one-hundredth birthday party, and straight from there to a harbor cruise.” Snuggling back against the satin bolster, I narrow the choices down to basic black dress, casual white linen suit, blue flowered skirt with cornflower-colored wrap.
“The black,” I tell her. “Goes with everything.”
“Hmmm.” Her forehead creases and she scoops up the hanger, draping the black over her body, turning to look in the cheval mirror. “My mother always told me not to wear all black. Too stark, and kind of clichéd.” Before I can ask why she bought it, then, she brightens. “But I have the same thing in navy blue.” I pronounce that dress perfect, and it is. Mom vanishes into her walk-in closet to pull out a selection of shoes. I burrow deeper into the pillows. Though she’s hardly taller than me, her bed is a California king, one of those outsized deals made for the LA Lakers or whatever. I feel, always, like a little kid when I’m here.
After we sort through the shoes, discarding the wicked highs and torturous Manolos and the “practical but ugly” Naturalizers, Mom sits down on the bed, reaching for her tea. Her shoulders rise and fall with an indrawn breath. “This is relaxing.” She smiles at me. “It feels as though we haven’t done this in a long time.”
It feels like that because it is like that. Our tea ritual, choosing clothes, Mom being home at night…hard to remember the last time all that came together.
“Tracy e-mailed me the cutest picture of Flip and her at the East Chop Lighthouse.”
“I got it too,” I say.
“They’re a very sweet couple.” Mom sips her tea.
“Sweet” would not be the first word I’d use to describe Tracy and Flip, but I’ve walked in on them at inopportune moments that Mom, against all odds, has never encountered. What if she’d come to my room five minutes—two minutes—sooner? The open window would have told her where I was. What would I have said? What would Jase have done?
“Do you miss having a boyfriend, sweetheart?” This catches me totally off guard. She stands up, scooping up the rejected outfits and heading for the closet to rehang them. I say nothing. “I know that’s important at your age.” She laughs ruefully. “Maybe at my age too. I’d forgotten.…” She goes far away for a moment, then seems to catch herself, returning to the subject at hand. “What about Thorpe, Samantha?
Flip’s younger brother? He’s such a nice boy.”
She’s suggesting dates for me now? This is new, and bizarre, behavior for Mom.
“Uh, Thorpe plays for the other team,” I tell her.
“Well, I hardly think his sports allegiances matter,” she says. “He’s always had lovely ma
“He’s been out of the closet since middle school, Mom.”
She blinks rapidly, absorbing this. “Oh. Oh. Well, then.” Her cell phone rings, loud in the quiet air. “Hi, honey.” Mom tucks the phone to her shoulder, fluffing her hair even though Clay’s not present.
“When? Okay, I’ll turn it on right now. Call you back after!” She reaches for the clicker, neatly contained in a wicker basket on her bedside table. “Cha
Chapter Seventeen
When Mom isn’t out campaigning, busier than ever, Clay’s at our house. This takes getting used to. As I saw from the start, Clay’s different. He spreads himself out, taking off his tie and tossing his jacket down on the sofa, kicking his shoes any which way, thinking nothing of opening the refrigerator, taking out leftovers and eating them straight from the Tupperware. Things Mom would never allow Tracy or me to do. But Clay gets a free pass. I walk into the kitchen some mornings to find him cooking breakfast for Mom, mysterious breakfasts full of things she’s never eaten, like grits and home fries. While Mom studies the schedule of the day, Clay fills up her coffee cup, her plate, planting a kiss on her head as he does so.
The morning after we choose clothes, he’s in the kitchen in an apron (!) when I come downstairs. “Your mama’s just gone out to get the papers, Samantha. Would you like some biscuits with sausage gravy?” Yuck, no. He is wielding the frying pan with the same easy confidence he seems to bring to everything.
It’s odd to have a man feeling comfortable in our house.
Then I realize, this is the first time I’ve seen him alone since I ran into him on Main Street. It’s my chance to ask him what’s up with that woman, but I have no idea how to begin.
“Here. Try this,” he says, setting a plate in front of me. It looks like someone’s thrown up on a biscuit, but it actually smells really good.
“C’mon,” he says. “Don’t be one of those girls who’s afraid to put a little meat on her bones.” His hair is flopping boyishly on his forehead and his eyes smile. I want to like him. He makes Mom so happy. And he did stand up for me about curfew. I shift uncomfortably.
“Thanks, by the way. For helping me out the other night,” I finally say, poking at the lumpy gravy with my fork.
Clay chuckles. “I was young once too, honey.”
You still are, I think, wondering suddenly if he’s closer to my own age than Mom’s.
“C’mon, Samantha. You’re no coward. Take a bite.”
All right, I think. I won’t be a coward. I look him in the eyes.
“So who was that woman I saw you with?”
I expect him to tell me it’s none of my business. Or say he has no clue what I’m talking about. But he doesn’t miss a beat.
“Downtown? Have you been fussin’ about that?”
I shrug. “I’ve been wondering. If I should say something to my mom.” He plants his hands on the counter, looking me in the eye. “Because you saw me having lunch with an old friend?”
The air has shifted a little. He’s smiling, but I’m not sure he means it now. “You did seem pretty friendly,” I say.
Clay studies me, still leaning casually against the counter. I meet his eyes. After a moment, he suddenly seems to relax. “She’s just a pal, Samantha. She was a girlfriend, a while back, but that’s history. I’m with your mama now.”
I make little indentations in the gravy with my fork. “So Mom knows about her?”
“We haven’t sat down and talked about our pasts much. Too much goin’ on right here and now. But your mama has no call to be concerned about Marcie. Any more than I would fret about your daddy. Want some OJ?” He pours me a glass before I can answer. “We’re grown-ups, sugar. We all have pasts. I bet even you do. But those don’t much matter compared to the present, right?” Well…right, I guess. I mean, I can barely remember what I saw in Michael or Charley.
“We all have presents too,” he adds, “that we don’t tell even the people we love every little thing about.”
I look at him sharply. But no, that’s crazy. He’s here even less often than Mom. He couldn’t possibly know about Jase. But wait, does that mean…
“Like I said, Marcie’s the past. She’s not my present, Samantha. And you know me well enough to know I’m a heckuva lot more concerned with the future than the past.” I’m polishing off the surprisingly good biscuit when Mom comes in, flushed from the heat, with a large stack of newspapers. Clay scoops them out of her hands, gives her a big kiss, pulls out a stool for her.