That Wedding

Nick continues. "You have this co

"Because it wasn't!" I exclaim.

Lori says, "Guys, it's true. Sad, but true."

"Damn, Phillip," Logan says, "you must've been really in love with her to spend all that time with her and DO NOTHING!"

Everyone laughs.

"So basically you all lived together for three years and NOBODY was getting any?" Blake asks.

"Not from each other anyway," I stupidly say.

"That's so disappointing," Logan sighs. "Jay baby, you should've come to Loggie. Oh wait, you did." He flashes me a cheesy grin.

"Shut up, Logan. I didn't do anything with you either."

"I wouldn't call it anything."

"Fine. I made out with some of Phillip's fraternity brothers, but seriously, that's all I ever did."

"Uh, Matt Fuller," Logan reminds me.

"Well, yeah, I dated him for four months. After he dumped me and pissed me off, I revenge dated his best friend because it drove him nuts. Those were the only two boys from your frat I slept with. I just, I don't know, I couldn't sleep with Phillip's friends."

"You didn't have any problem sleeping with my friends," Da

Nick jokes, "You just have a thing for hot football players, like me."

I turn my head and ask Da

"Actually, kickers are definitely real players. Think how many times a kick wins a game."

"True," everyone says, agreeing with Da

"Lori, how many football players did I sleep with?"

She holds up her hand, which is forming a big fat zero.

Da

"Yeah, sadly."

Nick says, "Why does that surprise you, Da

"YOU TOLD THEM THAT? Da

Da

"Well it certainly explains a lot. It didn't matter though, mostly I did just fine finding boys without the two of you. And I preferred it that way."

"Yeah, you were sneaky," Da

"I had to be! Here everyone thought it was all hot wild sex going on, but the truth is, it was like I lived with two FATHERS!"

Da

"You did if I was getting into trouble with anyone but you."

Nick says to Da

Phillip and Lori both look at us.

Shit. I'm pretty sure neither one of them knew about that.

Da

"And she's always needed it," Phillip says adorably.

He pulls me into a sweet kiss. Phillip's kisses are so amazing. I think that's why it was never a big deal to kiss Da

Dillon laughs and goes, "Remember that baseball game when JJ supposedly on accident mixed up the Gatorade bottles with Da

Joey is like, "That was messed up, girl."

Phillip laughs. "Joey, you were the one who was messed up." He tells everyone else, "He got drunk during the game and was goofy and stumbling around."

"Everyone thought he had heat exhaustion and was delirious," Da

"Hey, it was an honest mistake. I didn't see the special mark on the top. But I have to say, it was worth it. I don't think I've ever had so much fun at a baseball game."

"I don't even remember it," Joey says.

Neil clutches Da

Katie asks, "She was the one that had a boyfriend, right?"

Phillip laughs and says, "We all know how Da

All the guys say in unison, "Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score."

We all laugh and giggle.

Joey is like, "Oh, guys, have you been out to Westown lately? They got a new convenient store. It's called the Kum and Go. I was seriously pumping my gas and laughing my ass off. Because, pumping!??!!"

"I know!" Neil says. "I get gas there every time I see my parents. I always feel bad though when I pump and don't go inside to buy anything. Like I did her, but I didn't stay to snuggle."

Lisa giggles. "I wondered why all the men were lined up outside. Coming and going is like their dream."

Lori quips, "Why? They can do that by themselves at home."

"A man totally named that store," I say. "Can't you see a bunch of high ass frat boys lying around, making up names for their future convenient store, and laughing their asses off?"

"We need to go there, Logan," Blake says. "We should try and plank on top of their sign."

Logan high fives Blake and says, "That'd be so awesome."

I look at Phillip and think it's time we go dancing. I can't wait to grind all over him and actually have the ability to back it up. I wa

I've been thinking about what Da

I'm going to plant a seed and hope it grows.

That's how my mom always said she dealt with my dad, and my dad was more stubborn than I am. Somehow though, my mom was always able to get her way, but at the same time, she made my dad think it was his idea.

I need to pull out the big guns (or maybe the small, subtle guns) to get Phillip to buy the house next door to Da

What do those ladies say in the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Something about the man is the head, but the woman is the neck. How the neck controls which way the man looks.

I need to be the neck.

I need Phillip to look at the house and make the decision to buy it.

I can't be the one to suggest it.

I need to find out how much they want for the house. I need to get Mr. Diamond to agree to let me spend it. Mr. D will be the one to tell Phillip it's what my parents would've wanted.

No, wait! I have an even better idea!

We'll make the money a GIFT from my parents.

Then it will be OUR money.

We'll go look at the house, and Phillip will say, Now we can afford it. We'll take it.

Or something like that.

Phillip will think it's all his idea while I will act appropriately shocked and thrilled. Phillip will be my hero, and we'll live happily ever after.

Gosh, I hope this works.

Mr. Diamond called Phillip earlier today and asked if we could meet with him after work.