That Wedding

My mind immediately flashes to the hospital. I can see the waiting room. I can smell the popcorn. I can picture the doctor telling me to sit down. I can hear him say that my dad isn't going to make it.

What horrible thing is Phillip going to tell me?

I try to prepare myself. He's breaking up with me, he has cancer, he's joining the Peace Core, he's going to become a priest, he doesn't really want to marry me, he's in love with someone else, he's really gay, he found out he has a baby, he made a mistake.

I suck in a deep breath and hold it in my chest. I don't say anything. I just squint my eyes at him and try to shut out whatever pain is coming.

"Breathe," he says. He tilts his head and studies my face. "It's good news."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, I didn't know what you were go

Pain flashes across Phillip's eyes. He reaches out and runs the back of his hand across my cheek. "I'm sorry I scared you."

I smile at him, grab his hand, and kiss it. "It's okay. So tell me your good news."

His eyes brighten. "You know how we recently signed that big deal at work?"

"Yeah."

"Well, part of that deal is that we have to open an office in Kansas City. That means both Dad and I are going to have to spend more time there."

"That's exciting! And cool too, since Da

"Well, there's more." He has a huge smile plastered across his face, and I can tell he's really excited about all this. "So because of this, I got a promotion. I'm going to run the Kansas City office."

I throw my arms around Phillip's neck. "I'm so proud of you!" I have to tease him a bit though, so I say, "Must be rough having your dad be your boss. So wait. Does that mean you'll be traveling a lot?"

"Um, well, no. We kinda need to move there."

"Really? That'd be so cool! I'd love to live close to Da

"You already have a job there, if you want it."

Phillip's grin has turned into a sneaky smirk. I can't help but smile back at him. "Why don't you tell me everything."

He's practically bouncing with energy and starts talking fast. "The first thing we have to do is find temporary offices. We've already bought some land, and we're going to build our corporate headquarters on it. You can design the whole thing from the ground floor up. Wouldn't that be awesome? We'd be working together!"

I stare at Phillip for a few beats. Design my very own building? Is he serious? That's like my dream!

"How long have you known about all this?"

"It all just fell together in the last week, Princess. How bout we discuss the details at di

We go to di

Phillip assures me that I'd have lots of freedom, that he wouldn't boss me around, and that once the project is done, I could find a job there, start my own business, or whatever I wanted to.

Before I know it, I'm agreeing to it all.

After di

"Talk to me about our wedding," Phillip says. His body is always so warm, and with his arms wrapped around me, I barely feel the cool ocean breeze. "Do you want a big wedding or a small one?"

"I kinda think I'd like a big wedding. All our friends. A fun party."

"I agree. What about colors?"

"I'm not sure. Do you have any ideas?"

"Just please don't make me wear a white tuxedo. I think black looks best."

"I like black too, but black makes it more formal."

"I think a wedding should be formal, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do." I sigh. There's something I need to tell Phillip, but it's go

Phillip rolls in the hammock and faces me. "Tell me about it."

"We were at a wedding. I was young, maybe eight or nine. Mom pulled me on her lap and said, Someday, you're going to get married just like this. And since then, that's how I always thought my wedding would be. The wedding and the reception were held in a big ballroom. I remember being impressed by the huge sparkly chandeliers. I told her I wanted candles like the ones flickering on our table in my bedroom. She told me I couldn't have candles in my bedroom, but that I could have them at my wedding. She told me candlelight is romantic and that my wedding would be romantic because the day would be all about love. I told her the bride looked like a princess, and she told me that someday, when I married my prince, I would too. I told her I wanted to marry daddy. I remember the way she laughed. I loved her laugh. She told me I couldn't marry daddy because he was her prince. That I would find my own prince someday. I remember there were gorgeous flowers on the tables and a huge cake that had as many layers as my age. I think it was eight. We ate cake, and then my dad scooped me up and danced with me."

I'll never forget dancing with my dad at that wedding. The way he twirled me around, the smile on his handsome face, how he seemed so big and strong compared to me, how I always felt safe when I was with him.

"That sounds beautiful." Phillip studies my face closely then runs his fingertip across my cheek and feels my tears. "Are you crying? You never cry. The last time I saw you cry was the night of the funeral."

I shrug my shoulders. "I try not to cry. I want my parents to be proud of me, so I have to be strong. And you've seen me cry. I cried on the beach in Cancun."

"You were drunk."

"I also cried on stage at our engagement party."

He runs his fingers through my hair. I lean closer to his neck and smell him. Phillip always smells so dreamy.

"Twice in four years." He kisses me softly and says, "You know, you don't have to be so strong. Especially with me."

He's so sweet. I feel so incredibly lucky. Really, that's what makes me feel like crying. I love him so much, and I'm still so afraid of losing him.

"You don't have to shut your emotions away. It's okay to feel sad. It doesn't make you a crybaby."

I nuzzle my face into his neck and kiss it. "I know, Phillip. I love you, and I don't care what anyone thinks about our fast engagement. I can't wait to marry you."

He leans back and smiles at me. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course, I mean that."

"Hmm, well then maybe now would be a good time to tell you the rest of it."