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You know how sometimes you go shopping and find a great dress? You try it on and it fits you and looks great on you in the store. So you buy it and take it home.
But then when you put it on because you are getting ready to go somewhere, you feel like it's just not quite right.
Like maybe something is missing.
So you keep looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to figure out what it could be, what it needs. You try on different shoes, another hairstyle, some dangly earrings, a rhinestone necklace, maybe even a wrap. But no matter how you seem to mix it up, there is still something missing.
Oh you'll look good, maybe even great, in the dress.
Just not fabulous.
You won't have that glowing look because deep down you're not confident in the dress.
That's kind of how it felt with all the boys I've dated in the past.
Something was always missing.
I'd try to rearrange them, or me, or what I was doing, but no matter what, I couldn't quite get it right. And the fix is a really mysterious thing.
I think it's because the fix is an emotion. A feeling. It's not really a tangible item.
I mean, I've made a few drunken mistakes.
Who hasn't?
Well, okay. Phillip. But he is so not normal when it comes to that sort of thing.
He's always in complete control.
And I have to say, it's always been a trait of his that sort of bugged me. I'm always trying to get him to loosen up. But tonight, I learned there are many benefits to being with a man who's in control.
Ahhhhh.
Oh, sorry, I got lost there for a minute.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah. I was saying that I've made a few drunken mistakes, but for the most part, if I was with a guy it was because I thought he might be the one. Or at least someone who I thought I might want to try to make into the one.
After being with Phillip, I can tell you that I could put absolutely anything on in my closet, and it would look perfect.
Well, except for the bridesmaid dress I had to wear for Katie's wedding. Nothing could help that!
And not because of the outfit, but because of how I feel inside.
I am positively, one hundred percent, completely complete.
It's like the line from that Jerry McGuire movie, You complete me. I always thought it was some cheesy movie line. I know that every girl, me included, melted when Tom Cruise spoke those wonderful words.
But come on. You complete me? Get Real!
And that's how you feel when you don't understand. All this time I'd been going through life not even knowing that I was incomplete.
I'm telling you, this is something they should teach you in school.
I'm a college graduate, and I didn't even know that I had been walking around all this time, slightly defective.
But I don't care anymore because I know it to be true.
With Phillip, I am complete.
I yawn, snuggle up closer to him, and fall into a blissful sleep.
I'm awakened at dawn.
No kidding.
By Phillip, kissing the back of my neck.
Okay, so maybe things with Phillip won't be totally perfect after all. I mean this morning boy thing is probably going to drive me crazy. He'd better not expect me to start getting up early with…….….
Oh.
Phillip starts doing something to me that I would be too ashamed to talk about, but I can tell you this. It's worth being woken up for.
Oh!
Maybe I will become a morning girl after all.
It's almost nine and we're still in bed, trying to get motivated to do something besides stay here all day. The Nebraska game starts at eleven-thirty, and everyone is due to arrive around eleven.
Speaking of arriving, I realize I still don't know if Monica is coming to the party.
So I ask bravely, “Um, Phillip, what about Monica?”
He looks at me kind of fu
“Look, I know you've gotten kinda serious with her lately, and well, I just need to know if she'll be here today. You know, so I can prepare myself.”
Phillip pulls me close and runs his hand through my hair. God, I love it when he does that. Then my mind wanders to all the other things he does that I love, and I swear, I blush just thinking about them.
“Why in the world would you think Monica and I have gotten serious? I was just telling Da
I blink my eyes.
Hard.
I am going to kill Da
He told me that to make me jealous!
He manipulated me.
And it worked!!!!
Now he will try to take the credit for us being together, and he will never let me forget it. We'll be sitting in wheel chairs at the old folks home, and he will still be telling me that I owe him. And I don't think I can take that!
Shit.
“Da
“Da
Yeah I know.
“That little ……” I start to say a bad phrase about Da
I'm back in dreamland.
“We really need to get up and get things ready,” I tell him.
“Nah, I think we should just lock the door, turn off the lights, and not come out all weekend.”
I am tempted. Very tempted.
But our consciences get the best of us, so we get up and do everything on Mrs. Mac's list. While Phillip runs into town to get beer, I take a quick shower and get ready.
I'm looking at myself in the mirror and am now thinking that I really wished I hadn't waited so long to get together with Phillip. Aside from all the fun we may have missed out on, I think about how many days I could have looked like this!
I mean, I look beautiful.
Incredible.
And I never look this way. Kind of cute maybe, but not this!
Whatever this is, if I could bottle it and sell it, I would be very, very rich.
Quite frankly, I don't know how I'm going to get through the party today. I feel like people are going to take one look at me and know. There's a permanent grin on my face, my knees are weak and my eyes are smoldering, like there's a fire in them that can't quite get put out.
I might as well be wearing a flashing neon sign. I slept with Phillip. Flash. I slept with Phillip! Flash.
I don't think anyone will be able to miss it.
And I'm worried about this because I really don't want people to know yet. I don't need any coaching, or advice, or pressure.
I want to savor this.
Oh. And I have a BIG confession to make.
I think I may have found my prince.
I always knew I would, and I know, technically he's not a prince, but I don't think you necessarily have to be royal to be a prince.
I mean he acts like a prince, and he treats me like a princess.
He always has. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm half tempted to look at the sky and yell up to my parents, I told you so!
But then I remember they always hoped I would marry Phillip, so I guess we're even.
I can't believe that I'm actually thinking about marrying him.
It is WAY too soon to have thoughts like this.
Phillip gets back with the beer, and I don't get to attack him again because people started showing up early.
Damn them!
What? I missed him.
And surprisingly, no one notices my neon sign.