That Boy

But wait, I remember!

I think he was mad at me.

Then I remember the not so gay guys and arguing with Phillip.

Me, crying on the beach.

Oh, not good.

The only good thing I remember is I'm pretty sure it was me who threw up last night.

That means I may actually survive this day.

I open the door to the bathroom and am startled.

Da

I had forgotten he was here.

“Put this on,” he bosses.

I do, and after sliding my feet into a pair of flip-flops, we head to breakfast.

Just my luck, when we get there, Phillip is there.

He shoves his remaining food into his mouth and says to Da

He doesn't say a word to me.

Didn't even acknowledge my presence.

I frown.

Da

“Nothing,” I say, putting on my sunglasses.

Where is Manuel? Someone really needs to get him to turn down the sun out here.

It is way too bright. It's making my head hurt.

“Stay here,” Da

None of it looks very appealing.

“Eat something, Jay. And drink some water.”

Shall I tell him that I'm not really in the mood to be bossed around? Probably not, it's his wedding day. I should try to be nice.

So I pick up a triangle of toast and take a teeny bite.

Da

Yuck.

“I can't Da

“Like I've never heard that before.”

Da

Yeah, cuz it's not him, for once.

So I go against my better judgment and do as he says. I drink the mimosa and am surprised that after a few sips, it's not half bad.

But then Da

Me?

“Nothing Da

He is shaking his head up and down in apparent understanding.

“Ah, well that's the problem then.”

“Da

“Why?”

“It's not my fault Da

“I'm proud of you. So what went wrong?”

“Well, then those cute guys that we killed in volleyball yesterday came over and started dancing with us.”

“I thought they were gay,” he interrupts.

“Me too, but they didn't act like it last night,” I say raising an eyebrow and shaking my head, even though it hurts to do so.

“Anyway, we were all dancing together, drinking and having fun. And Phillip didn't say a word. He just left me. I thought he had gone to the bathroom or something, and I kept waiting for him to come back, but he never did.”

Da

Hey, that's not very nice!

“No wonder he's mad at you. It was supposed to be a date. You were supposed to be with him, not other guys. I'd be pissed at you too.” He gives me a disgusted look.

Hey, you were just complimenting me on my plan.

Traitor.

“I'm a flirt. You know it. Phillip knows it. It's never bothered him before because he knows I'm harmless. Maybe he needs to loosen up.” I pause, thinking. “But honestly, Da

“Can you honestly tell me you gave it your best shot with him?” He looks at me with squinty looking eyes, and I have a sneaking suspicion he doesn't believe that I did.

“Over the years, I've seen the many ways you can wrap a guy around your finger.” He rolls his eyes at me, “I should know. Phillip is not immune to you. I think that if you had really tried with Phillip, he'd probably have married you last night.”

I sigh.

“Did you try, Jay?”

“Yes. No. Oh, I don't know. I know he expected things to progress, but I was very clear that I wanted to take things slow. That I didn't want to be pushed. I hate being pushed.”

“It doesn't sound like he was pushing you at all, it sounds to me like you were pushing him away.”

I take off my sunglasses, so Da

“And I think that's exactly what you need to do. Screw things up.”

“What?” I ask, completely missing the double entendre.

Give me a break! I'm having a rough morning here.

“Sleep with him, Jay,” Da

Somehow I manage to get through the day. I do yoga with Lori without throwing up, although my instructor makes some snide comment about me looking a little green.

I make it through the massage, which normally is really relaxing, but it made me nauseous. After the massage, we break for lunch and they bring us some healthy and crappy looking spa food. I beg them for a cheeseburger and fries and, yay, they bring me some. Lori and I have champagne with lunch, and I'm starting to feel almost normal.

After lunch, we're both getting pedicures and manicures, and then I'm scheduled for a detoxifying body wrap.

Now that is something I need.

Suck all the alcohol out.

How much do you want to bet the yoga instructor set that one up?

During our pedicures, Lori finally breeches the subject of Phillip. She doesn't know about the disaster last night, and I have no intention of telling her.

“I saw you at breakfast the other morning,” she says, like she knows some big secret. “When Phillip whispered in your ear, you just melted. Your eyes got all dreamy looking. You know, I have NEVER seen you react to any guy like that.” She does an imitation of how my eyes looked. She looks ridiculous, and I'm sure she over exaggerates.

“You're a smart girl. You always amaze me with your ability to see the world as your great big playground. You can see miles into the future, so why can't you see a good thing when it's right in front of your face?”

“Phillip.” I state, knowing full well what she means.

“Yeah, Phillip. You know, Da

“I know, he told me once after he dumped me.”

“He didn't dump you.”

“Oh, I know,” I say with a wave of my hand, “but it bugs him when I say he did. Sorry, it's an old habit.”

“You know, I know all about the flag bikini, Jade. I've even seen that sad, tattered little picture.”

“He still has it?” I'm surprised. “You know, I love it that it doesn't bother you. A lot of girls would have a problem with it.”

“Well, I think Da

“Been there, maybe,” I say, “but never done that.” I grin at her and then frown and say, “Unfortunately.”

“No. Fortunately. Because if you had, he's right, you probably wouldn't have stayed such good friends.”