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“Really?” A
“Yes, really. I didn’t like it. I want to be a doctor, I think. Although we’re getting back those career surveys next week. Maybe it will tell me what I should do for a job.”
“But, you could make a ton of money. All I’d have to do is nominate you online.”
“A
“I’d miss you too. But what about the money?”
I shrug my shoulder. “I don’t care. If you nominated me, I wouldn’t try out. I wouldn’t even talk to the guy.”
“That’s harsh,” she says, still looking at me fu
Back in the saddle again.
5:35pm
Dawson texts me while I’m lying on my bed studying.
Dawson: Nothing is going on tonight. Wa
Me: I’d love to. I miss talking to you.
Aiden calls me as I’m throwing on a cute dress.
“Do you want to go out for di
“Um, I can’t. Dawson asked me to have di
“Catch up? Great.”
“Aiden, it’s just di
“Yeah, sure.”
I can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s not happy about it. But Dawson is my friend and I’m still going to hang out with him.
Dawson takes me to the little Italian restaurant where we went on what was sort of our first date.
“Remember when I first brought you here?”
“Yeah, Dawson. I do.”
“Are we going to have sex again?”
“Not right now. I can’t. It was making me sick.”
“Sex with me was making you sick?”
“Not literally, no. You know I loved it. But kissing Aiden one night and doing that with you the next felt slutty.”
“Slutty would have been having sex with us both.”
“I think it’s easy to say that. To call girls sluts. To make judgments about them. But our sex lives should be personal. It’s no one’s business who or how many people I choose to sleep with. If people worried about their own personal lives and judged themselves rather than others, I think the world would be a better place.”
“Does that mean you won’t judge me when I tell you I hooked up with the pre-med girl?”
His confession takes the breath out of my lungs. I press my fingertips into my eyebrow.
“Keatie . . .”
I close my eyes tightly. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“I needed to see.”
“If it would be good with someone else? Was it?”
“She was drunk and threw up as soon as we were done.”
“What happened to not wanting to do it with drunk girls anymore?”
“Try to find a girl at college on a Saturday night who isn’t drunk.”
I laugh. “I’m sure there are plenty.”
“Not at the party I was at.”
“Did it feel good?”
“I mean, yeah, it felt good, but it didn’t feel the same. You know?”
“No, Dawson. I don’t know. I haven’t done it with anyone else.”
“Great. Make me feel guilty.”
“I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty. I was just stating a fact. Because I don’t know.”
“Cam said I needed to get back in the saddle again.”
“Well, of course. I mean, it’d been a whole week since you were last in the saddle.”
“That was sarcastic.”
“Yes, Dawson, it was. I don’t think you should listen to Camden. I know you are close, but I don’t think he gives very good advice. Honestly, Riley has a way better head on his shoulder.”
“Riley is stranded on third base.”
“Riley is in love.”
“Well, I’m not. So . . .”
“You’re a good guy too, Dawes. Don’t let Cam or college change you. I would never fall for someone like Camden, but I fell for you.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“So, aside from that. What else did you do?”
“Nothing. We got high, played video games, ate, slept, drank, partied.”
“Sounds fun.”
“I’m not sure it’s what I want.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not sure I want to go to college with him.”
“Where are you thinking about going?”
“Maybe NYU with Jake. Did you know he’s thinking about going there? His family is going to have a fit, but he’s excited. We could get a cool apartment. Or a loft.”
“Do you know what you want to do? What you want to major in?”
“Cam says he’s majoring in pussy.”
I laugh out loud at that. “I’m sorry, but that’s really fu
Dawson grins. “I love hearing you laugh. I hope we can still have fun together.”
“It will be a little hard at first, but I think we’ll get through it. I want to stay friends.”
“It’s always a little hard at first,” Dawson snickers.
“Your mind is always in the gutter.”
“Just like yours.”
Still my bliss.
7:30pm
I text Aiden.
Me: I’m back from di
Hottie God: I studied some before di
Me: Well, technically, I have two days to turn in my missed assignments :)
Hottie God: So, technically, you don’t have to study?
Me: I can think of some things that might be more fun.
Hottie God: Like what?
Me: Actually, I do have some homework. It’s research for a very important project.
Hottie God: Oh, really? What kind of research?
Me: I’m doing a clinical study on the effects of French kissing. It’s for French class. Extra credit.
Hottie God: You should probably conduct that research in my room.
Me: I agree.
I freshen up my makeup, brush my teeth, and hurry over to Aiden’s room. When I knock on his door, he doesn’t answer. So I peek inside.
“You looking for me?” he says, coming out of Bryce’s room on the other side of the hall.
He looks completely delectable. School jacket slung over his shoulder, tie half undone, top button unbuttoned.
“I am.”
He gives me a blazing grin as I grab his tie and pull him straight to my lips.
This time it’s no sweet, feather-light kiss. No slightly open mouth. His tongue slides right into my mouth and tickles my tongue. It’s playful and fun for a second, but quickly turns more serious.
He walks me backward into his room, shuts his door, and pulls me onto his futon without his lips leaving mine.
His tongue is like a drug.
And I’m completely addicted.
He gently grabs my bottom lip with his teeth, pulling at it slightly.
“Observation number one,” I say. “Kissee thinks it’s hot when kisser bites her lip.”
He runs his tongue across my lower lip.
“Observation number two: Kissee likes to be greeted like that.”
I put both my hands on his cheeks and kiss him slowly.
“Observation number three: Kissee believes kisser’s tongue contains some type of addictive, and possibly illegal, drug. Either a love potion or crack.
This causes Aiden to chuckle.
“Addictive, huh?”
He runs the back of his hand down the side of my face, then under my jaw.
I close my eyes and feel. Let myself feel all the emotions for Aiden that I’ve been trying not to feel. Trying to talk myself out of.
“Very.”
He sits up on the futon and pulls me sideways onto his lap. I rake my fingers through his hair and kiss him like a girl who’s desperate for a fix.
Two and a half hours of making out and it’s still not enough.
I stand on the first step outside my dorm, making me almost as tall as him, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him again and again.
Then I wander to my room in a daze.
Maggie and Katie are in my room still studying for whatever test has been completely wiped from my mind.
“You look like Maggie did when she walked in. Dreamy. Dazed. Red lips. You been kissing Aiden?”
“I heard you went to di