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He winces. Like what I just said hurt him.
God, I’m being a bitch. I’m taking my frustration out on him instead of Dawson.
I’m getting ready to tell him that I’m sorry when he reaches out and hands me a little star.
I take it in my hand and look at it. It’s one of the glow in the dark ones from his ceiling.
From his failed attempt to get the dream girl to go to Homecoming with him.
And that does make me mad.
I toss it back at him in disgust. “Why would I want this?”
He catches the star and lowers his head just a little. “I just thought, um, you said they remind you of your sisters and how you miss them. I just thought . . .”
“I don’t need the leftovers from your failed attempt at asking your dream girl to Homecoming,” I snarl.
“You're crabby today,” he states.
“No shit.”
“You probably shouldn't have drunk so much last night.”
I hold my hand behind my head, flash him my middle finger, and say, “Seal off, Aiden,” as A
She gives me an adorable look. The kind of look that makes me know she’s on my side.
She leans over and says to me, “Girls’ night tonight?”
“Abso-fricken-lutely.”
My life has gone to shit.
3pm
As I’m about to walk into the dance locker room, Whitney grabs me by the arm. “We need to talk.”
“Talk about what? I’m not talking to you.”
She looks around to make sure no one is near and admits, “I’m sorry, okay. He looked happy with you. I was jealous. Wished things could just go back to the way they used to be.”
She gets tears in her eyes. “What you did at Homecoming. In front of my family. No one has ever stood up for me like that. Since I broke up with Dawson, my life has gone to shit.”
“That happened to me too,” I confide in her. “Last spring, I broke up with my perfect boyfriend. Except he wasn’t perfect, and I wasn’t happy. But I wish I could take it back, because since then, my life has gone to shit too.”
“Your life has gone to shit? Everything you do here turns to freaking gold.”
“I’m just trying to have fun. I don’t want to be involved in all the drama.”
“Do you think we could ever be friends? Dawson and I were never the way you are with him. We kissed. I made him. Told him that we needed to see.” She dabs a tear from the inside corner of her eye. “But you changed him.”
“No, you changed him, Whitney, when you broke up with him for reasons that had nothing to do with love. You broke his heart. Sometimes people just can’t get over that.”
She looks at the ground. “Yeah, I know,” she says quietly and I know she’s thinking about when Camden broke her heart all those years ago. “You should forgive him. It was all my fault.”
“Actually, it’s not all your fault. He could have told you no. And if he really loved me like he said, he would have.”
“I feel bad. I don’t usually feel bad about this kind of stuff.”
“I’m pretty sure I feel worse, but thanks. It makes me feel so much better to know that your breaking us up was for nothing.”
She puts her bitch face back on. “You made out with Jake last night.”
I stand up straight. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. Jake and I are both single. Because of you.”
Peyton walks up to us. “Keatyn, are you okay?”
I shake my head at her and quickly walk into the dance locker room.
Because I am not okay.
A peace offering.
6pm
I’m walking back to my dorm room, looking forward to having a girls’ night when I get a group text from A
A
Me: I just want to go back to my room. Can’t we do it in my and Katie’s room like we pla
A
Katie: Yeah, can’t we just do it in our room?
Me: PLEASE??
A
I feel bad. Shit.
Katie: No, we won’t. We’ll all be there.
Me: I’m going to stop, change clothes, and wash my face. I’ll be there in a few :)
A
I get to A
I look at what she handed me. A little purple foil wrapped square. The word Bliss written on it.
I hear Aiden’s voice in my head. Vos lèvres sont mon béatitude.
I unwrap the candy, pop it in my mouth, and let the chocolate slowly melt. It really does taste like bliss.
“That’s really good, A
She brings three pizza boxes down to the center of her floor and hands out paper plates.
I decide to try and enjoy girls’ night and not whine and bring everyone else down. Plus, I’m so incredibly grateful that I didn’t have to show my face in the café tonight.
I get a text from Dawson reminding me that we’re supposed to talk tonight. I tell him I’m having a girls’ night.
“So, I need updates on everyone’s weekend,” I say to the girls.
Maggie giggles. “So what do you guys think of Jake? Do you think I could possibly have a chance with him? Is he getting back together with Whitney?”
“He is super hot,” A
I look at Maggie. “I kissed him last night. Made out with him. We were both drunk and trying to get back at Whitney and Dawson. It doesn’t mean anything. God, I even puked on him.”
“I heard about that,” A
“Shit. I was mean to him in French, wasn’t I? I should have thanked him or apologized. I think that’s all I did today. Apologize for being an idiot.”
Maggie lunges at me and wraps me in a hug. “You are not an idiot. You need to stop blaming yourself for what Dawson did. It’s not your fault. Boys suck.”
Katie waves her hand in the air. “I’ll second that.”
“Katie,” A
“Yeah, we do. You would think that after what happened you wouldn’t ever drink again. But you got drunk at the Cave again on Saturday night,” Maggie says.
“Oh, so Keatyn can puke all over and it’s okay with everyone, but I get drunk and I’m in trouble?”
“I think my situation is a little different, Katie,” I say gently. “I hardly ever get drunk. You hardly ever don’t get drunk.”
She starts to tear up. “I don’t know how it keeps happening. I plan on only having a couple drinks, but then when the guys offer me shots, I can’t seem to say no. And when I do say no, they tease me about how I can’t keep up with them.”
“You can’t keep up with the guys. You have to be able to say no. Have one drink then have a bottle of water. And try not to drink more than one drink per hour. ”
She nods.
Maggie gives her a hug. “We just want you to be safe, okay?” Then she turns to me. “Can we please talk about Jake? I don’t care that you kissed at the party. What I care is that he didn’t kiss me. Didn’t even try to kiss me. He talked to me. Like we talked and talked for hours in the library. I think I fell a little in love with him.”
“He said he had fun talking to you and thinks you are really sweet and pretty, but he also said he wants to be single for a while and just have fun. Basically, we both decided to become sluts.”
A
“Well, last night it sounded like a good idea but the truth is, I can’t do that I have to like a guy. And I really only want to do it with a guy that I really like. Love, hopefully.”