Kiss Me

I shake my head no and start sobbing on his shoulder. He’s holding me like Damian did the night I almost got kidnapped. Which makes me cry harder.

I have a complete breakdown.

I must have emotional jet lag.

Like, it just all hit me.

Right now.

At the most inopportune time.

I’ve been so good at holding it in. Pretending to act like it didn’t affect me. That I’d be fine going away by myself. Being on my own. But I don’t want to be on my own. I miss my family. I miss the girls. I miss Cush. Sweet, sexy Cush. I thought I could come here and start over, but I can’t. This isn’t my life.

He pats me on the back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I suck in a big breath and shudder. Calm myself down. “I’m sorry. I just, like, when you did that. It reminded me of someone. Someone I miss. Someone I had to leave when I came here.”

“The surfer guy?”

I lean my back up against the headboard while I wipe under my eyes. “No. It’s a long, complicated story. I don’t want to bore you with it. Let’s just say my coming here was not exactly by choice.”

“Tell me about the guy.” He laughs. “Or should I say guys?”

“Guys, I guess. You really want to hear about it?”

He hands me a coffee and says, “I’ve got all morning.”

Now I have to figure out what to say. What can I say that is close to the truth? What I end up with is a weird combination of truths.

“I sort of got sent here because of a guy.”

“Your parents not like him?”

“Um, there was some trouble. My parents decided to move to France. Told me I was either coming with them or coming here. They deleted my phone, Facebook, everything. I told a guy I thought I loved him, that we would get back together, then I left. Didn’t even get to say goodbye.” Tears trickle down my cheeks. I brush them away quickly.

“That sucks. But you get to talk to the B guy?”

“Yeah. My parents, um, liked him.”

“I can relate.”

“How?”

“I got kicked out of here my freshman year. Parents sent me to military school. Same deal. No friends. No phone. No social media. Very strict. We all have to go to school somewhere. Trust me, there are worse places you could be than here.”

“Did military school suck?”

“For the most part, yes. At least there are girls here.”

“What did you do to get kicked out?”

“Let’s just say I was being pretty reckless and deserved it.”

“Are you still reckless?”

He laughs. “Hell, yeah. Military school is supposed to strip the life out of you. I didn’t let it. You can’t let it. And don’t worry. I’m sure you won’t have any trouble finding a guy here.”

“I already found a guy here. I’ve never felt such an instant co

“You like Aiden a lot, huh?”

“Yeah. He, like, speaks to my soul. He makes me feel nervous and tongue-tied and I want to run away from him because it scares me. But he’s, like, magnetic. He has this pull on me.”

“Maybe you’re just horny,” he laughs.

“It hasn’t been that long.”

“Oh, do tell.”

“There’s nothing to tell. Even though we broke up, I slept with B my last night at home. It was breakup sex or goodbye sex. But now when he texts me he acts like it was makeup sex.”

“So you need to get over him and the other guy before you can be with Aiden? Is that what you’re thinking?”

“I’m thinking I can’t like Aiden at all.”

I don’t tell him that I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall in love here.

Or that I forget that promise every time Aiden is near me.

“I should suggest we have some revenge sex, but I can’t even bring myself to hit on you. You look pathetic.”

“I don’t want to be hit on, Riley.”

“I know. But the good news for me is that you’re not wearing a bra.”

“Is there any good news for me?”

“Yeah. At least your parents didn’t send you to military school.”

“Maybe they should have. I could do nothing but study and get buff.”

He nods his head, agreeing with me. “That was the one good thing. Wa

“See what?”

“How buff I am.”

“Only because I know you’re dying to show me.”

“Maybe it will sway you. Make you change your mind about us just being friends. It’s important before we go too far down the friendship path that I know how much willpower you really have.” He pulls his shirt off over his head and shows me a lean, buff, and tan chest. He doesn’t quite have a six-pack yet; more like an adorable four pack. “So what do you think?”

“I’d say military school does a body good.”

He smiles.

Then he raises his eyebrows and says, “Okay, so now it’s your turn.”

“My turn for what?”

“To take your shirt off.”

I laugh at him. “You’re incorrigible.”

“It’s a gift. And, more importantly, I made you laugh.”

The paths you choose.

1:30 pm

Katie was really nervous about getting to dance on time. About fitting into her uniform. About dancing at the scrimmage when we only know one routine. I tell her to go ahead and I’ll meet her later, knowing I need to call Garrett.

But as I scroll down my contact list, I see a D. And I hit it instead.

I figure I’ll have to leave him a message, but at least I can hear his voice.

“Are you okay?” Damian answers right away.

“I’m fine. Where are you?”

“Stockholm, getting geared up for tonight’s concert.”

“I just called to thank you. I never thanked you for taking care of me that night. I’ve been a bad friend. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve never been a bad friend to me. And even if you were, I’d forgive you.”

“I broke down and started crying in front of a boy I barely know today.”

“You had a traumatic experience. Not to mention leaving your friends and family and going off on your own. Are you pretending it’s a new adventure?”

I think about my little sisters and want to start crying again. “I forgot it was your dad who started that when we were little. That’s what we told the girls. I’m worried about them. Do you think this is going to work? Have you heard anything? Are you taking precautions?”

“Yes, to all of the above. We have security built in with the tour. I’ll be fine. James sent me a photo of the guy that I shared with the team. Didn’t tell them why, but they will be on the lookout for him and we’ll get a heads up if he leaves the country. James also said that they had eyes on the guy when you left. That he was in his office all day. It worked. He doesn’t know where you went. You’re safe, Keats. Do you like it there? Is it nice?”

“It actually is. I feel safe. And so far people have been nice. And I met this guy.”

“That doesn’t really surprise me.”

I remember what else Brooklyn told me. “You know how I was maybe going to come here when I was a freshman, before I decided to stay in Malibu?”

“Yeah.”

“B suggested that maybe I fought fate. That fate was sending me here now because there was someone I needed to meet. Do you think that could actually be true? Or did he plant a thought in my brain and now I’m trying to fulfill it?”

Damian laughs. “All that fate stuff is just a little too deep for me. I think you make your own fate by the paths that you choose.”

“I’m not on a path that I chose, Damian.”

“That’s true. Just be safe, try to have some fun, and let fate take care of itself. Hey, I have to go. Break a leg.”

“You break a leg too.”

I scroll down and call Garrett.

“Mom said you wanted me to call?”

“Just wanted to let you know that things are looking good. Vincent has been following some of your friends around looking for information—”

I interrupt him. “Garrett! Did you lie to me? You told me my friends would be fine if I didn’t tell them anything. Where did he follow them?”

“Your friends are fine, because they don’t know anything. Thursday night, your friend Cush got together with, I believe it was, his soccer team. Does that sound right?”