Kiss Me

I don’t answer. I just jump into his arms and kiss him.

Crying yourself to sleep.

10:45pm

I stop kissing Dawson in time to make curfew. I’m back in my room, calling Mom, while Katie is down the hall.

“Hey,” I say when she answers. “I just called to say hey. And I was hoping to talk to the girls. Are you getting all settled?”

“Yeah, we’re getting pretty good at moving. Have it down to a science. Kym asked me what you’re doing for the holiday weekend. We never discussed what you’re going to do on school vacations.”

“I know, but it’s okay. I’m probably going to be in the Hamptons at some friends’ house.” I don’t mention that I’m also supposed to see Brooklyn. I have a feeling everyone would freak about that. But come on, I don’t really think Vincent is going to fly all the way to New York on the off chance I might be at B’s tournament.

“These friends. Are they nice?”

“Yes. They’re brothers. One is my friend, Riley. He’s one of the first guys I met here. I think he and I and this other boy, Dallas, are going to be good friends. At least, I hope so. And his older brother is gorgeous. Sweet. I kinda maybe like him.”

“Just make good choices, okay? It’s not just the stalker that can cause trouble for you. There are so many kids that get their trust funds, start to party, and spend all their money on drugs and hookers.”

“Hookers? Really, Mom?” I laugh.

“You know what I mean. I was thinking of this actor that I knew. He blew all his money. Got addicted. Now can’t get a decent role.”

“I’m not like that. You know that.”

“I know, but you could become it. It’s easy to get sucked into that kind of lifestyle. Okay, enough with the lecture. Tell me how it’s going. It sounds like you’re making friends.”

“I think so. There’s Katie, my roommate, and Maggie. They’re both on dance team with me and really nice. And A

“And the God of all Hotties?”

“He hates me. Well, no, he asked me to hang out tomorrow, but he waited until tonight to ask me. So I said no.”

“Why?”

“I have plans with Gorgeous. The brother. He’s really cute, Mom. Tall, dark, and dreamy. And he’s super sweet. And he doesn’t drive me nuts like the god. Want to see a picture of us? A

“Of course, I’d love to see it!”

“Okay, I’m emailing it to you. But you’ll have to delete it after you see it since we’re in our school uniforms and stuff. Or did Garrett password protect your computer too?”

“He did, but I’ll delete it just to be safe.” I hear her clicking then she says, “Keatyn, oh my gosh! Look at you! This picture is amazing! You look beautiful, and it doesn't even look like she edited it! Look at your skin! Oh, let’s take a moment to rejoice in your smooth, wrinkle-free skin. Seriously, look at it. Someday you will understand.”

“Um, okay.”

“Oh, also Kym told me that she’s putting together a few more outfits, some cooler weather looks, and she’ll be sending you a few care packets with boots and things. I think she’s having a ball with it.”

“I texted her yesterday to thank her and tell her how much I loved everything she’s put together. So, what do you think of Gorgeous?”

“He looks very sweet and vulnerable. It’s a very sexy look.”

“I know.”

“Do you even have clothes that are suitable for the Hamptons?”

“Oh, shit. I only brought one bikini and no, I don’t!”

“I’ll text Kym. She’s in New York. She’ll have something couriered to you. If she has it there by three tomorrow, will that work?”

“Yeah, thanks for thinking of that, Mom.”

“You sound like you’re doing okay. Are you really? Are you crying yourself to sleep? Are you having bad dreams?”

“No. I’m doing okay. Pretty okay. Mostly, I try not to think about it. Garrett told me that I may never get to come back. That I should start making my life here. So I’m trying to do my best.”

“Oh, I didn’t mention this before, but somewhere in all the stuff that Kym sent you were the birth control pills that we talked about when you were dating Brook. Did you find them?”

“No. I still have one box that I haven’t completely gone through.”

“Well, they will make your periods shorter. I just don’t want you thinking you can have sex with just anyone because you’re on it. And you should still always use a condom. It’s just like a back-up plan. Right?”

“I know. Thank you. I’ll find them and start them. Shorter periods sound great. So, Garrett told me stuff about Vincent, but no one has said anything about how you are doing. About the girls. Has he been in Vancouver?”

“From what I understand, he was all over Malibu. We kept the girls at home and brought their dance teacher in. The girls love it here. The house we’re leasing sits on a large piece of land. It’s very private, and they have lots of room to run around.”

“I’m glad. Are they still awake? Can I talk to them?”

“Of course. I was just getting ready to go read them a bedtime story. Would you like to read them one instead? You have most of them memorized.”

Tears fill my eyes. “I’d love to, Mom.”

I miss reading them bedtime stories. I miss how they smell just after their nightly baths and how adorable they look in their little pajamas.

I hear Mom walking across a wood floor then hear her say, “Keatyn is on the phone, girls. She wants to read you a bedtime story.”

She puts me on speaker and the girls all talk at once.

“Kiki, Kiki, we have a big house and a yard and we might get a puppy,” Ivery says.

Gracie says, “Me! Kiki, I talk now. We go

“Kiki, Kiki, Kiki!” is chanted.

“What are you going to call me then?” I ask.

“Momma says you on a long ’venture. So we get to have puppy Kiki!” Emery explains.

“What kind of dog are you getting?”

Gracie says, “A yellow one! Just like Kiki hair!”

“A yellow one?”

“It’s Avery, Keatyn,” Avery says in an extremely grown up voice. I think with me gone, she’s trying to be the mature oldest sister. “We are getting a golden retriever just like Buoy.”

Buoy is Damian’s dog.

“Buoy has hair just like Kiki!!” Gracie screams. “We fix Kiki hair. We go

The girls yell. “Gross!” “Ick.” “Daddy is silly.”

Gracie says, “I tell Daddy we make Kiki wear pull-ups just like me!”

Katie walks in the room and sees me sitting on my bed with tears streaming down my face.

I can picture them all bouncing on their beds. I miss them. I miss their neck-crushing hugs.

“Are you okay?” she whispers.

I nod my head but cry harder.

“I have to go, girls. I’ll let Mommy read you your story,” I choke out.

Mom takes the phone off speaker. “I’m sorry about the dog, honey. We’re trying to talk them into another name.”

“It’s okay. Give them hugs for me.”

I hang up. Put my face in my hands and cry.

Katie sits on my bed and gives me a big hug. “What’s wrong?”

“My sisters are naming a dog after me.”

Katie starts laughing. And I can’t help it. I start laughing through my tears.

“That’s pretty freaking fu

Friday, September 2nd

A safe place to go.

7:08am

When I check my email this morning, there’s one from Sam. He states that he’s successfully negotiated a deal on my loft. That the owners had already moved out and that we will close on it next week.

I smile. Then I almost start crying.

It sounds stupid, but the idea of having a home, a safe place to go, sounds so wonderful. I’m so excited. I ask him if I need to do anything. Sign anything. He says no. That he already has my power of attorney and he will take care of everything. In fact, he put such a large deposit down they already have given him the keys in case I want to hire a designer and get started. He told me I should get the keys in the mail on Tuesday.