Kiss Me

I hold my hand up in front of his face. “Stop doing that.”

“Stop doing what?” he asks with a smirk.

“Stopping giving me those eyes. They aren’t going to work on me.”

He chuckles. “If you have to look away, they already are.”

“Okay, so we know you are not lacking in confidence around me. Now you need to work on being confident again around Whitney.”

“We’re back to that, huh?”

“Yes, we are. Do you believe in true love?”

“I don’t know. I prefer to focus on what’s in front of me.” He reaches out and touches my cheek.

I close my eyes and shake my head at him. “You are persistent. I will give you that. So, back to love.”

He puts his hand back on the table with a little thud and sighs. “Fine. So, you think Aiden spoke to your soul?”

“That sounds really dumb, doesn't it?”

“It sounds hopelessly romantic, actually.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re right. I sound like a gooey freshman girl with a crush.”

“You know about my past. Tell me about yours.”

“Um, well, for a year and a half, I was part of the perfect high school couple.”

“Sounds like me and Whitney.”

I nod. “He’s a great guy, but our relationship wasn't as perfect as it seemed.”

“Why not?”

“Well, aside from the fact he got drunk all the time, we didn’t really have any passion.”

“Passion, huh? So he was bad in bed?”

“I don't know. I never slept with him.”

Dawson’s eyes get huge. “Really? And he stayed with you that long?”

“The no sex was what he wanted, not what I wanted. I broke up with him the day after he was named prom king. Then the Keats guy and I finally kissed. He asked me to spend the weekend camping and surfing and I hoped, you know, I'd get to sleep with him. It would have been my first time. He was my dream guy.”

“So, did you?”

“No. He left early without me and then sent me this message that made me think he was hooking up with other girls there.”

He takes a drink of his soda and shakes his head. “That must've hurt.”

“It did.” I sigh. “Then there was this other guy. Riley reminds me of him. The guy that’s with a different girl at every party.”

“Tell me you didn't sleep with him.”

“Oh, I did. He said he was in love with me. I was upset at the Keats guy at the time. But I was also just tired of waiting. And he was sexy, fu

“You sound like you loved him.”

“I wanted to, but I think I was trying to convince myself I wasn’t in love with the Keats guy.”

“So, then what happened?”

I close my eyes. See Cush’s sexy face. How he looked at my party when I said I love you. The boots he gave me. Then I hear Vincent’s voice.

I open my eyes quickly because they start to tear up.

“Um, I, um. I don’t . . .”

Dawson grabs my hand again. “You don't have to tell me. It’s written all over your face. He cheated on you, right?”

“Do you have girls here that will do anything to be popular? Is popularity a big deal here? I mean, it's obvious you're part of the It group.”

He thinks about it. “You mean girls who think if they hook up with me that I'll ask them to sit with us at lunch and invite them to our parties?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure there are.”

“I was leaving to go on vacation. He had the house we all partied at. We had a tight group. We all sat together at lunch like you do, but the parties were a lot bigger.”

“You didn't have to party in a dorm room.”

“True. So, a girl like that put Valium in his beer and when I stopped by to give him a kiss I walked in on . . .” I shake my head. I can’t even say it.

He runs his thumb across the top of my hand. “It’s okay. I get it.”

“I found out that the Keats guy wasn't hooking up. He apologized for ditching me and that’s who I was with all summer.”

“You loved him?”

“Yeah, I was crazy about him. All summer he told me loved me. Told me we'd be together forever. Then at the end of summer, he told me he was leaving me for a year to travel the world. Like, he told me and then was leaving a few days later. That’s why I'm done with love.”

“I don’t think you should be done with love. You just need a guy that’s not a dick.”

“If only boys came with warning labels. Like, yours would be: Do not kiss when drunk. Riley’s would be: I’m going to sleep with you and your best friend too.”

He laughs lightly with me, but mostly he’s looking at me with his adorable face. And I just figured out why he seems sweeter than Riley. It’s his eyes. They are so expressive. It’s like all his emotions are mirrored in them. Last night they looked hurt. Jealous. Today they have ranged from naughty to thoughtful.

“You haven't hardly eaten any pizza.” He holds a piece up to my mouth, so I take a bite of it.

“You’re being awful sweet to me.”

“I think that saying misery loves company is true. You're hurting as much as I am. Probably more.”

“I guess at least I don't have to see them every day like you do.”

He nods. “Is that why you came here? To run away?”

How should I say this? What did I tell Riley when I was crying and blathering on? “No. My mom and stepdad a

He grabs both my hands, pulls them up to his mouth, and kisses my knuckles.

“I'm glad we were both at the cave last night.”

Monday, August 29th

Why can’t it be both?

Ceramics.

Today is the first day of classes and uniforms. I always feel both excited and nervous on the first day of school but, so far, my classes seem to be okay. First period, I have History with Riley. Neither of us like mornings very much and I’m pretty sure our teacher agrees. He showed up about five minutes late with a very large cup of coffee.

Second period is English with Katie, Dallas, and two guys named Jordan and Parker. Jordan is on the soccer team and has mischievous eyes. Parker plays te

In third period Math, we were forced to sit in alphabetical order. Which put me right behind Logan, who was throwing all those passes to Aiden in the scrimmage. He took off his navy blazer and when he leaned forward to write, I could see muscles bulging across his back and shoulders. I can already tell Math is going to suck, but at least I’ll have a nice view.

It’s like what Grandpa always says about real estate. Location, location, location.

I’m pretty sure I’m sitting on Park Place overlooking the back of Boardwalk.

I walk into fourth period Ceramics and am surprised to see Bryce and Jake sitting at a table in the back. They are the only boys in the class.

I laugh and say, “You’re taking ceramics?”

Jake laughs. “Haven’t you seen Ghost?”

“Yeah?”

Bryce chimes in. “We needed a fine arts class and thought playing around in the clay with hot girls sounded fun last year when we signed up.” He waves his hand in front of him. “But, so far, no hot girls.”

“Oh, gee, thanks,” I tease.

“Well, besides you, of course,” Jake says. “But I think Whitney would kill me if she heard that.” Then he pats the empty stool next to him. “Sit here.”

“Do you like Whitney? I heard you’ve been making out with her a lot. At the dance. At the party.”

“We’ve been making out. And why not? She’s gorgeous.”

Jake is pretty much gorgeous himself, but he seems way too nice to be with someone like Whitney.

“What about her college boyfriend?”

“He’s not here. So who cares? Besides, she’s going to break up with him.”

“You know Dawson’s still in love with her, right?”

“Yeah, but we’ve talked about it. We’re not going to let it interfere with our friendship. Plus, she’s hot.”

Bryce grins. “I don’t know what Jake will do, but I know I’d step up my game for a shot at that.”