Out of Play

Little heart thought bubbles start floating around Gary. “Aww, you slept with her! Why, Bishop Riley. I didn’t think you had it in you. Are you in L-O-V-E?”

He’s teasing me by trying to lighten the mood. I know that, but still don’t like it. “Nice.” I push to my feet. “I’m trying to be serious here, and you’re giving me shit.” When I start to walk away, Gary grabs my wrist.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. You didn’t have to come to me, and you did. That’s important. Sit back down, please.”

Rubbing my hands over my face, I fall back onto the couch. “Listen, I just got into it with her mom. I think it’s safe to say she hates me and thinks I’m pretty much the spawn of the devil, so I’m not sure how much longer this gig is going to last. I know Don’s going to be pissed, but I didn’t mean for it to happen and…” I’m not ready to go. I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to be like the loser who gets in his car after partying. As soon as I think those words, I know what comes next. I am all those things everyone thinks I am, unless I can man up, at least about some of them.

“I’m sure Pe

Gary is surprisingly quiet, so I keep talking. “She was so pissed at her mom this morning, man. So pissed because her mom lied to her, and I’m doing the same damn thing. She’s going to freak out.” I can’t stop thinking about it. “You don’t want to deal with a pissed off Pe

“So yeah, I just wanted to tell you. Be prepared or whatever.” When I stand up this time, Gary is right behind me. He grabs me and pulls me into a hug.

“We all screw up. No one is perfect. You’re a good kid, Bishop. Don’t let anyone make you think anything different. No matter what, okay?” He’s still holding onto me, and I let him. “If things don’t work out here and you’re not ready to go home, we won’t. When you’re not grumpy, you’re not so bad to travel with.” Gary laughs and lets me go.

“I… Thanks, man.”

He gives me a nod. “I’m serious. Wherever you want, okay? And as far as Don is concerned, I’ll take care of him. He’s not so bad if you know how to deal with him.”

I nod again.

“And Bishop, you haven’t even needed much of your prescription. You’re spending your time drumming and snow-whatevering instead of the things you would have done before. You’re doing good. I’m proud of you, but I want you to be proud of yourself. You deserve it.”

No, no I don’t. “Like you said, something small every day.”

“This wasn’t small, Bishop.”

His cell rings.

I shake my head, but not at him. At me because he thinks I’m much better than I am. Because the things he said I’ve done are pointless because they don’t outweigh the bad—those bad things that I’m not even honest with him about. It makes my stomach ache. “Talk to your man.” I move toward the door. “I’m going to go wait for Pe

“It’s not Troy and even if it was, we’d keep talking if you wanted.”

“I know.” And now I just need to do something to make myself deserve it.

I take a quick shower, wondering if it’ll be the last one I get while I’m here. Before leaving, I push the baseball hat down low on my head. I’m so tired of wearing this stupid thing.

I head to the music store for a little while to hang out with Pat. “What’s up, man?” he asks.

“Not much. Was just bored.”

“Cool. Been a while since you came down.”

Pat’s good people. It’s cool hanging out with him, and I wonder why I don’t do it more often. Plus, he could have blown my cover a long time ago, but he hasn’t. “Wa

His eyes light up. “Hell yeah.”

We jam for a little while—okay, a couple hours, before a few kids come in.

“You like the drums?” I step up next to the one with the shaved head, eyeing the kit.

“Yeah! They’re so cool!”

I look over at Pat and he nods. “Want me to play something?” I ask them and they look at me like I’m an idiot, so I sit down and show them what I can do. It’s like it’s coming from within me—this incredible feeling sprouting from my insides and coming out through the drumsticks.

“Holy cow!” The other boy says when I finish. “You’re good! Can you teach us something?”

The next hour and a half is spent teaching them some rhythms and freestyle tricks. It’s actually pretty cool. The bald kid reminds me of when I started playing. He’s good. This—teaching him—feels even better than that.

Finally, it’s close to time for Pe

Standing in the doorway to the arena, I watch her on the ice. My mind flashes back to her in the truck this morning—how she just pulled off her sweats in front of me like I deserved to be there and see her. Like I belonged there with her.

Like I told her mom, nothing holds her back.

I realize I’m smiling when I head inside. She’s skated to the back, but all the guys are out here, still in their big ass hockey gear. Mitch does a double take when he sees me and then skates over. “What’s up, man?” Even though Pe

“Hey.” He has his helmet in his huge, glove-covered hand. “You here for our girl?”

“Whose girl? Nope, not here for your girl.”

Mitch grins at me. Then Chomps skates up, doing the same.

“You guys got something to say?” This is the part where they tell me not to screw up with Pe

Chomps’s smile grows, but it’s Mitch who speaks. “We’re going sledding in a few days. You wa

Sledding? What are we, twelve? “Nah, I’m good. Thanks.”

“It’ll be fun.” Chomps nods his head at me. “You can borrow gear from Pen, or we’ll bring some for you.”

“Gear? I’m pretty sure I can handle a sled without gear.”

They both laugh, and Mitch leans over and puts an arm around me.

“This is going to be fun! Gotta make sure you’re tough enough for our girl.” He steps away.

My shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. “Believe me. I have what it takes.”

They start laughing again, and I open my mouth to tell them to screw off, when Pe

“What are you doing here so early? You’re going to get bored.” She leans toward me, her eyes bright. Yeah, she wanted to see me, too. She pushes her way through Mitch and Chomps who skate off, still laughing at something, but I couldn’t care less. I didn’t come here to deal with them.

For the first time, I want to take my hat off instead of pulling it lower. “I wanted to watch you, Pen.”

She opens her mouth, closes it, and opens it again. For the first time, Pe

There’s the girl I know. Reaching forward, I touch her face. “If she’s not kicking ass on the ice, or challenging me at snowmachining, she’s not my type.” I wink at her before heading over to sit down on the bleachers. For the second time, I leave her speechless.

“So, you and Pe

“Yep.”

“Thank God.” Rebecca laughs but then looks shy about it, looking away and kind of biting at her lip. “Seriously though… It’s cool to see her happy and not just because she wants Mitch—”