Freeing Carter

The basket clunks into the truck bed, followed by the flashlights and then Kira is climbing up too. We sit in the middle of the blankets as she pulls out some sandwiches, fruit, and sodas.

"Hey, I thought you said you were cooking me di

"I did. This is my way of cooking."

"You're crazy."

She winks. "I know."

We eat di

"It's getting cold." Kira scoots up and pulls one of the blankets over her, before leaning against the window.

"That's my cue." Suddenly, I'm kind of nervous, which might make me insane. I've never been nervous with a girl in my life. I definitely shouldn't be nervous with this girl.

Balling the backpack up, I lay it down, and put my head on it. "Come here. Let me keep you warm."

I hold my arm out and Kira cuddles inside, laying her head in the crook of my arm. I'm pretty sure she belongs there. We're lying under the blanket, her heat against my side. It's perfect.

"Can we talk? I mean, I know we can talk, but I didn't know if you wanted to talk about—"

"You can ask me anything you want," I interrupt her.

"What you said about your grandpa earlier?"

I groan, not wanting to talk about him, but willing to tell her anything regardless. "He's a prick. He was an alcoholic the whole time Mom grew up. Verbally and emotionally abusive to her and my grandma. Mom was...well, I guess you can say she was probably a nerd in high school. She told me she didn't have many friends or anything. She was really shy and kept to herself, but then..."

"She met your dad," she finishes for me.

"I'm sure they always knew each other. They went to the same school, but he played ball. They hung out in different crowds and stuff." The urge to touch her more takes me over and I slide my other hand over her stomach, then hoping and praying it's okay, I let it slip under her shirt a little. Not too far, but enough so I can brush my thumb against her bare stomach.

"Is this okay?"

"You wouldn't have your hand if it wasn't."

Somehow, I believe her.

"Anyway." Brush, brush, brush. Her skin is so soft, so perfect, I can't stop feeling it. "Mom and her family went out to di

"His parents let her stay with them, since they were both eighteen and all. My dad's parents are awesome. He probably could have gone to any school he wanted because he was good at ball, but he stayed local. Went to school, they got a tiny apartment. His parents helped them a lot. They loved Mom. They helped her open her store, too. He was still in college when they had me. I think it was the first time she knew what it was like to have a real family. His parents moved to Washington when he died, but we still talk to them all the time."

"It's like a fairytale," Kira whispers.

"Yeah?"

"Definitely. They loved each other a lot, didn't they?" Her voice is soft. She rolls toward me, so my hand drifts to her side.

"Yeah... it was hard on her and Bill. She never loved him the way she did Dad."

"I wonder if my mom has or had that kind of love. It sucks not knowing. I mean, I guess she couldn't have. Why would she have left me if she did, but I still wonder."

Tell her. Tell her. Tell her. That I love her that way. That I would do the same things for her. That I love her the way Dad loved Mom. "You could always go ask her. Have you decided yet?"

"No. I still don't know."

My hand is big, splayed in the dip of her waist. She feels so small, so good.

"You'll figure it out. You'll do the right thing, no matter which way you decide."

She leans closer.

I lean closer.

My hand runs up her back, over her bra strap and back down, just needing skin to skin contact.

"Are you going to kiss me or what, Coach?"

I'm smiling against her lips, but then I can't concentrate enough to smile. Only enough to kiss her. She moans a little in my mouth and it's awesome. Knowing I affect her the same way she affects me. Rolling onto my back, I pull her with me so she's lying on top of me rather than the hardness of the truck. She kisses my neck. I kiss hers. Nips my earlobe. I do the same.

Energy zips through my body. Maybe through my body, into her and back to me again.

"Kira, " I whisper against her mouth.

"Carter," she throws back at me.

"I—" My phone beeps, contrasting the quiet.

"Crap." I fumble for it. A sudden sickness wiping out all Kira's electricity.

The name BILL lights up my screen.

Pushing to sit up, I hit talk. Kira kind of rolls off me at the same time. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing. Sara was having a bad day and wanted her mom so I brought her home a few hours ago. I just wanted to call and check in, but your mom must have let her phone die because it's going straight to voicemail."

I feel like I died too. Sara is home. Sara is home with Mom on the a

I see that bottle sitting in the box. The very full bottle that she could drink. How drunk would that make her? For all I know, she could even have more. Would she wait until Sara is asleep? Why didn't I take it earlier? At least stay until she finished folding the clothes so I could take her bottle.

"Carter? Are you there?" Bill's voice says. I'm climbing out of the truck. When did I move?

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm sure everything is good. I'm actually on my way home right now."

"Okay, well it's no biggie. I just wanted to check in."

"All right. See you later." I try to sound calm, but as soon as the words leave my mouth, I hit end on the call. "Come on. We gotta go."

Kira doesn't ask questions, just starts grabbing the blankets and helping me stuff them in the truck. A few seconds later, we're both in the cab, the truck is started and I'm peeling away. My hands are shaking as I grip the wheel.

"Do you want me to drive?" Kira asks.

"No."

"Okay, slow down and be careful. It won't help if we don't get there okay."

"Sara's home. Bill brought her home on the day my dad died? What was he thinking? Fuck! What was I thinking? I never should have left her."

Kira mumbles a curse. "She said she was fine, right? I'm sure she's fine, Carter. She hasn't been drinking at all lately. I doubt she would do it with Sara. And if she is...you know it isn't your fault, right?"

Her question isn't worth replying to. Fighting will just slow me down. How could things have changed so fast? I'd been laying there with Kira feeling free and now this. She's drinking with Sara and I know it, which means I'd known she would drink all along. Knew it, but I still left. Talk about selfish.

The second we pull into the driveway, I run to the door. As soon as I have it unlocked, I toss my keys to Kira who ran up behind me. I don't want her to see this. Can't handle the thought of her hearing Mom slur my name, or need me to carry her up the stairs.