Freeing Carter

No...No, I'm not. "Yeah, I'm good." Stay or go? What will happen if I walk out of the game? I'll lose basketball, that's for sure. The selfish part of me is too scared to take that risk.

"Take a little break," Coach tells me. "Michaels, go in for Shaw."

Everything in me wants to fight the decision. This is my team. My game, and I'm never pulled out because I can't get it done, but right now, I can't.

I fall into the chair, burying my face in my hands. My leg is bouncing up and down like the rabbit in the deer movie Sara watches. I don't even notice the last minutes of the half tick by until I hear the loud buzz letting me know it's halftime. I'm the first one on my feet, needing to get to the locker room where my phone is.

"Carter! Carter!"

Sara's voice makes all the tightness evaporate out of my body. It's almost too much, my whole body going limp in relief. I turn to see her walking up to me with Kira. Not Mom. Just Kira and Sara. Without a thought I jog over to them, Sara's on her way toward me too.

"Carter!" she says again.

"Hey, Twig. About time you got here." Does my voice sound calm? I need it to sound calm, even though, inside, I'm freaking the hell out.

She wraps her arms around my waist and I look at Kira, pleading with her to answer the questions I can't say out loud. Is she okay? Why isn't she here?

"The store was crazy busy. Your mom worried about me staying without her so she talked to Lana, and let me come with Sara."

Sara steps back. "Kira can drive like you!" The rest of her words are a jumble of excitement that I don't understand.

"Not as good though, I'm sure." I wink at Kira, needing to joke so I can calm myself.

"Shaw! Stop flirting and get into the locker room!" Coach yells.

I look at him, then back at the girls. "I gotta go. You guys are good?"

"Carter! Carter!" Sara cheers for me, her ponytails flopping around.

"I gotta go," I say again, and start ru

"Coach!" I turn back to Kira.

"Don't worry. Everything's good." She looks at me for a few seconds, her eyes trying to tell me something I'm not sure I understand. "I promise."

I let out a deep breath, somehow believing her words. Even though she doesn't know everything, she would know if something's wrong.

When Kira turns toward the stands, I realize for the first time what she's wearing. A basketball jersey with a number 1 on it. Coach Shaw in big letters on the back.

I can't help it, I smile. Knowing when we go back out for the third quarter, I'm really going to kick some ass, even if it's only to do her jersey proud.

***

"So, this is just a wild guess here, but I'm figuring, after seeing Kira's jersey, your goofy-ass smile, and the way you turned into super point guard in the second half, draining threes like old school Reggie Miller that: A) You and Kira have something going on and B) You're going out tonight, but not with me." Travis pulls a clean shirt over his head. "Not that I blame you. Actually, I'm little jealous, but that's beside the point." He smirks.

"We're not together. I've just got a lot of stuff going on right now and...She’s cool."

Travis looks at me fu

"Huh?" I scratch my head. Then Travis does the same. Does he mean he has stuff going on too, or he knows I do? No, there's no way he can know. "What's up?"

Travis laughs. "Nothing. You know...too many girls, not enough time and all. So...Kira?"

I shrug. "I like hanging out with her." Actually, I like more than just hanging out with her and if I didn't feel like my life might self-combust at any second, I'd definitely want to be with her. Scratch that. I do want to be with her, I'm just not doing anything about it. I don't think.

"Hooking up?"

"Nope."

"Damn." Travis laughs again.

After shaking my head to get some of the extra water off, I say, "Still don't know what I'm doing tonight, though. Mom really might want me home." Translation, she might need me home. "I need to talk to her and Kira too."

"Okay. Text me if you come out. A few guys are hanging out tonight, so I'll be with them. We're looking for a place to party." The urge to ask him about the partying climbs up my throat, but I shove it down, not wanting to look like the guy who's giving him shit when he's having fun after a break up. Travis doesn't give me time anyway, sliding his hat on backward and saying, "And, dude? You so want Kira. You should go for it. I'm pretty sure she's feelin' you too."

I don't have time to think about what he said, because I'm still worried about going out there and talking to Mom. She showed up a little into the third quarter. Being a coward, I came straight to the locker room after our win, not ready to talk to her yet. Afraid of what I don't want to hear in her voice or see in her eyes.

Now...now I have to face it.

Before the locker room door has a chance to close behind me, two small, manicured hands slam into my chest, throwing me off balance. What the hell?

"I can't believe you're going out with her, Carter. Did you even wait until we broke up? How do I know you weren't with her when we were still together?" If this was a cartoon, I can guarantee steam would be coming out of Mel's ears. She's still in her cheer uniform. A blue ribbon that matches our team colors ties up her hair and she has a scowl on her face. She's like Pissed off Cheerleader Barbie.

It's apparent that the universe hates me. I can't seem to catch a break anywhere. "You're the one who was screwing around. Not me. And I'm not even with Kira." Unfortunately.

She crosses her arms. "Fu

But I have to get this over with. "I'm a little lost on how it would embarrass you when you're the one who I caught in the bushes with Devin and you happened to be the one who dumped me, but whatever." Before I say anything that might get me in trouble, I try to walk past her. She reaches out and grabs my arm, stopping me.

Her voice is softer now and she moves closer. "I'm sorry, Carter. It's my fault. Devin's a jerk. You and I belong together. I want you back."

Shock freezes me. Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Have Mel back? A part of my normal? But I don't want it. It's done. We're done. "Mel..."

"Carter, I miss you. Your hairs still too messy, but I miss you." I actually think she does. Mel isn't a bad person, she's just spoiled. She wants it all. And regardless of how things went, we used to get along.

"It wouldn't have worked out. You know that. We were starting to fight all the time. You started hanging out with another guy."

"Devin was a mistake."

"It'd be a mistake for us to get back together. You know that as well as I do."

She reaches up and touches my hair. Even if part of me wants it to, the touch doesn't feel the same. She's not even looking at me the same. Mel doesn't want me back for me, she wants me back because she's starting to realize she can't have me.

I start to pull away just as another voice comes from down the hall.

"Carter! Carter! We won!" Sara, Mom, and Kira are standing by the door that leads to the gym. You've heard that saying time stopped? Yeah, I always thought it was dumb until now. It really feels like time stops. Like I'm doing something really bad and I just got caught and there's nothing I can do about it. Sara looks at Mel and then at me. "Ew. She's yucky."