Freeing Carter

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't keep my lips off hers.

Our mouths touch gently at first. I tease her lips with mine: one kiss, another, and another. When no smacks come, I let my tongue slip out to trace her lips. Heat sizzles my skin, boils the blood in my veins because she opens her mouth, tasting me.

I thread my hand through her hair, pulling her closer, trying to get as close to her as I can. Need taking me over, sucking me in like a vortex. She tastes so good. Even better than she smells and I want it all.

Closer, I lean closer again and then her mouth rips away from mine. She's only a few inches away from me which must mean she wants to kiss me again, so I lean forward, ready to pick up where we left off.

Her hand on my chest stops me.

"I have to say...you're a good kisser, Coach, but next time you kiss me, do it because you want to. Not because you're missing the ex who just dumped you."

"I...what?" I don't know what to say. I wasn't thinking of Mel. Hell, I can't even remember what Mel looks like right now. I can't make the words come out.

Kira doesn't give me enough time anyway. She pushes to her feet, and walks back to the court, taking my basketball with her.

"Hey!" I scramble to my feet and go after her. "I wasn't. I didn't. I want." Why won't any words come out?

Kira stops moving and puts her hand to my lips. "Shh. Don't. Things said in the heat of the moment never count. You might regret it. I'll think you only said it because you're a guy and guys always want to kiss. Just don't."

Dumbly, I nod.

"Come on, Coach. It's about time you took me home."

We ride to her house in silence, the only time either of us speak is to give or get directions. It doesn't take long to get to her place.

"You heading home?" Her hand is on the handle.

"Shit. I don't know. I forgot I told Mom I'm staying at Travis's."

Kira sighs. "Lana's a nurse now. Works graveyard at the hospital. You have until 7:45 tomorrow morning before you have to be out."

I can't help it, I smile.

"No reason to smile. You're benched. It's the couch for you, Coach."

Chapter Ten

Kira doesn't answer her bedroom door when I knock softly at about 6:30 in the morning. I think about writing her a quick note to say thanks but two things stop me. First, I have no paper, which means I'd have to look around her house which feels a little stalkerish. The second reason, is I don't want to risk being caught by her mom—do I even call Lana her mom? It's what she is, but Kira doesn't call her that.

Not that it's important as I'm standing in her hall, debating life's little mysteries when I should be getting out of here before Lana gets home. And it also wouldn't be smart to leave a note that Lana could find, so before I can stall any longer, I slip out of her house and climb into my truck.

Okay. 6:35. Where should I go? Not a whole lot of options this early in the morning, so ignoring the cramping in my gut, I head home. Inside, the house is silent, which makes sense. Sara is with Bill and Mom must be passed out. No, asleep I mean. I don't want to think of any other option.

When my stomach growls I grab a bowl of cereal and start to eat. Kira was a pretty quick learner last night. I wonder if she'll want to play again—let me teach her again or if it was a one time, I-feel-sorry-for-Carter-because-he-got-dumped-and-his-girl-was-probably-cheating-on-him thing. She's so wild. I can't help but picture her ru

Does anything ever bother her? She seems so...free. Like she can do anything. Be anyone. I'm embarrassed to admit, I envy her that.

Like any sane guy would, my head goes straight to what it felt like to press my lips against hers. How she tasted and smelled so sweet, even though she'd been sweating on the court. It's crazy how girls always smell so good. How soft she is. All girls are soft, but she's somehow softer.

Mel never felt that soft.

"Urgh!" I run a hand over my face. Daydreaming about girls who aren't mine is not a Carter Shaw thing to do. Dumping the rest of my cereal in the garbage disposal, I jog up the stairs. I don't mean to do it, but my feet stop outside of Mom's door. Pressing my ear against it, I listen. Of course I don't hear anything. Not even sure why I did it, but I thought maybe I'd hear her shower. Know that she is up which means she couldn't have gotten too wasted last night.

As I start to walk away, I hear her cell phone go off. Well, if she wasn't awake before, she will be now. Not ready to see her yet, I make my way to my room. Locking my door behind me, I screw around online, seriously consider jumping into my bed, but end up taking a shower instead, hoping the water will wash away my memories from last night.

Mom's slurred speech memories.

The drama with Mel.

Not the Kira and basketball ones. Those, I lock into that little box in my head where we keep important stuff that I have no plan of ever talking about.

Shower over, I get dressed, pla

As soon as I hit the hall, I hear her cell phone again. I know it's by her bed. A day doesn't go by she doesn't charge it right there. Just as I'm about to knock, the home phone rings, making me more happy than it should, because bad as it is, I don't want to see her. The thought actually makes me want to hurl.

"Hello?" I'm out of breath after racing down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hello. This is Barbara Co

Fuck. No, no, no. I so don't want to go there today. "She's not available right now. I'm Carter, though. I'm on the list of people you can talk to."

Papers shuffle on the other side of the phone. "Mr. Shaw, you're grandfather has had another bad day. He's refusing medication and yelling at employees and calling names. He's even taken a swing at one of them. We told Ms. Baker last time we can't continue to have this behavior. He's only in assisted living and we don't have the manpower nor should we have to deal with this. If it doesn't improve, he's not going to be able to continue staying here. I tried to call your mom at least four times this morning and she didn't answer. I need someone to come down and help us deal with him."

The ropes tying me to my life tighten. I hate the bastard. Hate him, but if I don't go down there, I'll not only have to wake up my hung over mom, but then she'll have to deal with him. Which kills her. Which makes the Vodka and Tequila call to her louder. Which triggers the gag reflex and nausea to attack me even fiercer.

"Mr. Shaw? Like I said, I know this is your grandfather. I'd much rather deal with your mother about it, but again, she hasn't answered my numerous phone calls. That's very unlike her, but regardless, we need someone to help settle him down."

Her words hit me. She's right. No matter how hung over Mom has been before, she's always answered the phone. Between Sara and Grandpa who might need her, it never leaves her side.

"I'll be right there."

Dropping the phone, I run for the stairs. My heart has never pounded so hard. It's like a whole basketball team ru