Charade

              And it works. The professors feel like they’re doing their job. Mom believes I’m suddenly going to have this incredible life she never did because I’m on my way to a piece of paper that doesn’t do anything to guarantee me a job when I’m finished. It makes her happy which makes me feel like I’m not the shittiest son in the world so it all works out.

              But today, I feel like being here even less than I usually do. Christ, Cheye

              What my body is jonesing to finish right now, but I felt like an ass. When I’m with a girl I do it so I don’t have to feel. But I was feeling and I don’t like it. All those unwelcomed emotions made me bail.

              But we both want it. Both want it bad so that makes my guilt even more fucked up.

              When class gets over I grab my stuff and head out. My car’s ru

              I don’t know why the hell I’m sitting here, flipping my phone over in my hand. My head is all screwed up, but I don’t know why, which pisses me off more.

              My phone beeps and I turn it over to see a text from Cheye

              What’s up?

              Waitin on u I text back. Which is only half a bullshit answer, but it sounds good. Today’s a late day for me so it’s already after three, but I don’t know what her schedule is. For all I know she’s not even here.

              I have another hour…after?

              My pulse jackhammers like I’m a sixteen-year-old about to get laid for the first time.

              Meet u at ur dorm Is all I say and then drive my dumbass around like I have a reason to wait for her when she can drive herself.

              When she walks up a little over an hour later I’m leaning against my car waiting for her. She’s back to public Cheye

              “You coming over?” I ask, crossing my arms.

              “You inviting me?” She does the same.

              I hold in my smile because I don’t like the fact that she makes me want to do it so often. “I just did.”

              She rolls her eyes. “I could have found my way to your place.”

              I shrug because I don’t know how to reply without looking like a pussy.

              “You drive me crazy,” she says, but she’s walking over to my car. I get back into the driver’s seat and we pull away.

              We’re not in the car for two minutes when her cell rings. I watch as Cheye

              “You hungry?” I ask.

              “I am, actually.”

              “We’ll hit a drive-thru.”

              Her phone rings again. She silences it. After we grab our food it beeps another time. “You know I don’t give a shit if that’s your pretty boy, right? Play your games if you want to. We both know what this is.” I tap my fingers against the steering wheel, frustrated.

              “Be careful, Colt or I’ll think you’re jealous.”

              “Be careful or I’ll think you want me to be.”

              She sighs and I’m pretty sure I pissed her off more than I wanted to.

              “It’s my aunt,” she finally says as we pull up in front of my tiny ass house.

              Fuck. And again I feel like a prick. “You don’t wa

              “Not really. She’s freaking out. Thinks I’m having a hard time and wants me to come home.”

              I flash back to the night in the yard, seeing her all huddled in the corner behind the shed. I almost tell her she is having a hard time and that maybe she should go home, but I’m not sure it’s my job. Glancing at her hands I see they’re shaking slightly and her breasts are heaving against her shirt.

              So I do what I’m here for. What she needs from me. I slide my hand through her hair and pull her to me. Silence her thoughts and her words with my mouth. Cheye

              When we pull away we’re both breathing hard, but I don’t think she’s thinking about her aunt or her mom anymore. “Damn I’m good.” I tell her which earns me a smack on the arm.

              We get out and head inside. I’m not surprised to see Adrian sitting in the living room with a few people around him. Beers are on the coffee table and they’re listening to music on the TV.

              This place is never empty and drives me fucking crazy.

              “’Sup?” Adrian says. He sounds half asleep. “Beers in the fridge,” he says and I’m about to tell him no, but then Cheye

              I fall into the chair and realize this is going to take a while.

              She comes back in the room and hands me a beer, which I take, then she sits on the couch next to Adrian. It’s the only empty spot. Perry and Dax are sitting on the other side of him. Perry’s girl Monique comes down the hall and sits on his lap. I see Dax and Perry both eyeing Chey then me like they’re trying to figure out what’s going on.

              I don’t usually come home with girls. Deena’s around, but that’s just because she’s always partying with everyone.

              I’m really not feeling this whole thing. The hang out with Cheye

              A knocks sounds from the door and I know things are about to get a whole lot worse.

              I eye Adrian who doesn’t move so I get up. “Fucker.” I call him as I open the door. Jack and Oscar come in.

              “What the fuck’s up!” Oscar yells. He’s always acting like an idiot and drives me insane.

“Beer sucks. I have Tequila.” He has a brown paper bag in his hand. I close the door and keep standing.

              “Damn. Who are you?” Jack says, walking up to Cheye

              I take a step forward to tell to back off. To tell him she’s with me, and to keep the fuck away, but I don’t because she’s not my anything. We don’t have any promises and I don’t want any so I sit back to see how she’s going to handle it.

Adrian does it for her. “She’s Colt’s girl. Back off.”

              His words piss me off. Yeah I was close to saying the same thing, but she’s not mine and I don’t want her to be. Not completely at least. But I also don’t want them trying to get with her so I don’t say anything.

              “Wow. Colt’s girl, huh? I didn’t know that.” She looks at me and winks.

              “Let’s play strip poker.” Oscar says.

              Both Monique and Cheye

              “Quarters?” Monique says. Neither her or Chey have said a word to each other. Girls are crazy like that, always sizing each other up and neither one wanting to talk until the other does it first.

              I expect Cheye

              We move to the kitchen table, all of us crammed in around the thing. Monique is again on Perry’s lap, her hundreds of little braids hanging down over her shoulder.

              Adrian pulls out his pipe and weed and everyone around the table but me and Cheye