Страница 33 из 70
A pensive smile formed on my mouth as she wrapped me in undeserved kindness. I wanted to dispute her claim because to me, that’s what she was. This girl who’d shaken me. I wanted to tell her she was wrong because I knew inside that pure heart of hers she believed the two of us were just the same.
Maybe her soul burned so bright she couldn’t see the blackness in mine.
Fingertips trailed along my jaw and wound in the hairs at the nape of my neck.
With a harsh shake of my head, I asked her the same question I’d been asking myself for the last month. “What are we doing, Aly?”
She tightened her hold and whispered along my jaw, “Whatever feels right.”
I released the air from my lungs and gave in. Devoured her mouth. I sucked her bottom lip between both of mine. Her jaw slackened as she fully succumbed to my kiss. Colors flashed behind my eyes as I let my weight cover her, chest to chest, breath to breath. I caged her, her tiny body pi
Heat blanketed us, flames and fire and need. I’d never wanted anyone like this, had never ached to bury myself in someone this way. I wanted to lose myself there, disappearing forever in this blissful delusion.
Aly was panting when I pulled away. She gasped and clutched my head when I dipped down and took the rosy bud of her breast in my mouth. “Oh my God… Jared,” she breathed, her words shooting straight through me.
Writhing, she moaned, and I lifted my weight to my knees so I could drag my flattened palms down her sides. Her muscles jumped and ticked, and she arched as I sucked at her. Almost frantic, her hands tugged at my hair.
I eased, gently kissed along the underside of her breast, then ran my nose back up over the sensitive skin. Her hands loosened and she sighed as she massaged her fingers at the back of my scalp. My kiss traveled the valley of her chest, and I took the opposite breast in my mouth.
Her hands fisted in my hair again. This time, Aly begged, “Please.”
Shit.
And again I was asking, “What are we doing?” because I was hard and straining and so was Aly and all of this seemed so fucking crazy. Because I wanted her. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life, this consuming need that made my head spin and heart pound.
Slipping my hands under her back, I ran them all the way down to cup her perfect round ass and pressed her a little harder into me.
Aly whimpered, a frenzy alight in the depths of her green eyes. She rocked against me, purposed and strong. “Please.”
That was all the confirmation I needed, and I was pushing those little shorts and the black panties hidden underneath over her hips, revealing every inch of this beautiful girl. My chest felt too full, and my stomach tightened as I lowered them down her thighs.
Jerking back, I rested on my knees and tugged her shorts free from her legs.
Fully exposed, Aly stared up at me. Shadows danced in her eyes, her expression tense, and a little mewl slipped from her mouth as she nervously pressed her knees together. In it, I heard so many things, a whimper, a cry, need, and maybe something that sounded like fear.
Caressing her skin, I slowly spread her knees apart. Under my touch, she trembled, her legs shaking as they fell open and her naked body was completely exposed to me. Never before had I witnessed a more perfect sight.
“Shit… Aly… you’re fucking gorgeous.” Maybe it was crass, but damn, she was.
I watched as Aly’s tongue darted out to wet her lips, her hair all tangled around her face. Anxious green eyes stared up at me. Her expression was both intense and shy, shifting with desire and apprehension and lust.
A lick of fear lashed at me again. Squeezing my eyes closed, I swallowed hard and fought for control. This was wrong. So wrong. Yet I just opened my eyes and let my hands wander back down her legs, my palms firm as I ran them up the inside of her thighs. I shifted forward and captured her mouth.
Aly wrapped her legs around my waist.
I rubbed against her, shameless and brash.
“Aly… ”
“Jared… I want you.” Aly’s touch became urgent, her kiss greedy. Desperate hands rushed down my back to grip my ass. “Love me, Jared. Love me.”
My mouth opened in a silent cry that I buried in the haven of her neck. And I wished that I could. Even though I knew that wasn’t what she meant, for one fleeting moment, I wished I could love her and that this beautiful girl could love me back.
Unbridled hunger washed over us in waves, sweat slicking our skin as our bodies grasped for each other.
And I felt powerless, consumed, hard.
So fucking hard.
Overwhelmed, I pushed back to my knees and dropped a kiss to her soft belly. Aly sucked in a sharp breath and her hips jerked from the bed. Then she threaded her fingers in my hair and begged my name. My arms wound under her bent legs, and I tucked her close. Shifting, I leaned forward and rested one hand on the bed beside her waist. Her leg was trapped between my arm and side, scorching my skin.
I glanced up at her. Aly watched me with chaotic eyes as I smoothed the opposite hand along her stomach, down her thigh, and then ran the backs of my fingers over the bare skin at her center.
Aly shook.
I held my breath as I slipped two fingers inside her.
She gasped and writhed, and her hands fisted in the sheets at her sides. She was warm… so fucking warm… and so fucking tight. I searched her, listened to the rapid tumbling of discordant words that whispered from her mouth.
Realization hit me like a flood.
“Why the fuck are you a virgin, Aly?”
Aly just lifted her hips and begged me more. “Please.”
I continued to search her, please her, pressed my thumb to her clit as I lurched forward and covered her mouth with mine, demanding through my kiss, “Why are you a virgin?”
Aly’s hands flew to my face, her hold firm but her eyes sincere as she looked up at me. “Because I want it to matter.”
“Shit… Aly.”
Crushing my chest to hers, I curled my arm over the top of her head and mashed my cheek to hers.
I quickened my hand, my fingers filling her hard and fast.
Her nails cut into the skin of my shoulders, burrowed deep enough to sink into my blackened soul. Aly tightened, her breath rasping from her lungs and filtering across my face. “Jared… I don’t… so good.”
I could feel it hit, her pleasure as she convulsed all around my hand. Affection rushed through my chest.
No.
And still she was begging, “Jared, please,” lifting herself to me as she tried to get to my underwear.
I rose on my knees between her thighs, grabbed her hands, and pi
I might be an asshole, I might take and take and take, but there was not a chance in hell I was going to take that.
My eyes searched hers, trying to understand, trying to make her understand. “You said you want it to matter.”
Sadness clouded her features. “How could it not matter with you?”
Regret twisted through my gut because I knew better than to have allowed this to completely spin out of control. But it was me who lacked control, and it was Aly who held me.
And it would matter. To me. But that wouldn’t make a fucking difference in the world because I could never be what she needed. Could never be what she deserved.
I would destroy whatever we created, would ruin her, would wreck this beauty.
I loosened the hold on her hands. The tension that had stretched me tight ebbed, and my body softened as I rested my elbows on the bed, bracketing her shoulders. I swept the hair on her forehead from her face. “You matter, Aly. You’ve always mattered to me. But this… ” I twirled a strand of her hair with my finger. “I keep warning you we can’t do this, and you just keep pushing me further and further. I don’t know what it is you think you want from me… what you think I can give you.”