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Staring him down, I crushed his hand in my hold, silently promising him I would do anything to keep Aly safe. Safe from him. Safe from me. Safe from anyone who even for a minute thought of messing with her. Clearly, this douche bag didn’t deserve her any more than I did. I could see it there, written all over his self-righteous face and in his eyes, the nice guy act well played. Perfected.
Unbidden, my hand clamped down on his as thoughts of him with Aly swam through my vision like some fucking horror flick that you really didn’t want to see but can’t look away from, the slasher kind where there is blood and guts and gore and nobody comes out alive. When I was a kid, they always gave me nightmares until the cause of my nightmares became real and utterly unbearable.
Thinking of her with him felt pretty much the same.
I pulled away from him, and Aly took my hand again. “Come on, let’s find a good spot to watch the fireworks.”
With her voice, I shoved off the images, turned, and gently smiled at her, ignoring the guy whose gaze burned into the back of my head with outright hate.
Instead I focused on her words, which sounded so damned cute, like they used to when we’d run ahead of ourselves to find the best spot at the park. We used to get so close that we’d feel the fireworks rumble through our bodies, and we had to dodge the little pieces of paper ashes that flitted down from the sky.
She led me to a lounger that sat out in the open on the grass. She pushed at my side and gri
Quirking an eyebrow, I smirked at her but did as I was told. I sat sideways on it with my feet on the ground. Aly settled to the grass, and instinctively my knees parted to make room for her. Nestling between my legs, she shifted a bit to rest her head on the inside of my thigh. Then she released a breathy sigh as if this was the only place she wanted to be, murmuring, “I’m so glad you’re here, Jared.”
Desire coursed over every inch of my skin and pooled in my stomach. There was nothing I could do to stop it, the way I hardened at her slightest touch, at the soft sound that fell from her mouth, at the smell of her hair that had become permanently ingrained in my mind.
Night fell further, collected across the sky, and the darkness deepened the silence of the cocoon Aly and I found ourselves in. The heat had ebbed the slightest bit, the warmth of the day begi
Most in the yard had quieted and taken their spots to watch the sky, anticipating the show that was about to begin. Everyone else bled into obscurity, and in that instant it was just the two of us.
Aly jumped with the first boom. It rumbled along the surface of the ground, vibrating below us, and a long whistle cracked before color exploded in the sky just in the distance.
Quietly she gasped, the way she’d done what seemed like a million times before. A perfect memory of her as a child suddenly overtook my mind. The tips of her delicate fingers fluttered up to her mouth as she watched in awe.
I was powerless to do anything but thread my fingers through her hair, to anchor myself to her, even if it was only for this moment. Even though I’d been the one to cut myself from her, right then it felt impossible to let go.
Reds and blues and whites streamed from the sky, lit up the darkness above, increased in intensity, then fell before the next wave erupted in an electrifying thrill.
Blood thundered through my veins. It’d been so long since I’d felt this close to someone. Part of me fought it, knew I should push her away. The dominant part of me just wanted to stay, even if it was for a little while. I’d been alone for so long. Was it wrong to take away these memories, something to hold on to when I seeped back into nothingness?
Shifting her weight, Aly sank deeper into me. Her body burned into mine; her head pressed into my thigh. She tilted her head back and looked up at me with wistful eyes, watched me with kindness, with a yearning for the way things had been in the past, with ideas of what could never be.
I stared down at her.
And I knew it was wrong, that I was only making things worse, prolonging the inevitable, but right then I just didn’t care.
A pensive smile kissed her mouth, before she turned back to the show above. She snuggled closer, her shoulder dipping down under my leg so her neck was nestled against my thigh. Her hand skimmed over my knee and down my leg before she firmly wrapped her arm around my calf. Her hand tightened there, and my fingers found their way to the nape of her neck, twisting in the fine hairs and tickling her skin. A small whimper escaped her mouth as I massaged my fingers over the base of her scalp, ran them up to the back of her ears and down again.
As if this wasn’t agonizing, having what I wanted most in my hands and knowing she was completely out of reach.
Untouchable.
But right then she was mine. So I gave in, took a little more, leaned forward, and buried my nose in the fucking delicious coconut in her hair. Breathed in the life and the goodness and everything that was Aly.
I wanted to remember.
Her fingers curled into my leg, begging just as desperately as my body begged for hers, and I felt strung up, strung out. I ached and needed and felt as if I was going to lose my mind.
Fireworks filled the sky, this constant barrage that illuminated the night. I felt them more than saw them as they knit with the shocking intensity radiating from Aly, a feeling that sped through my veins faster than any high I’d ever experienced. Overhead the finale came to life, pounded through my system, set my skin on fire.
I tightened my hold on her, my nose behind her ear, wanted to take it all.
“Aly,” whispered from my mouth.
Chills rolled down her spine in a palpable wave.
Fireworks popped and cracked, a rapid succession of booms and streams of fire, and an outburst of cheers rose up from the crowded yard.
Someone beside us whistled and clapped, and for one second, I held Aly a little tighter.
The last of the fireworks blinked out above as darkness again fell across the sky. The patio lights were flipped on. People climbed to their feet and began to disperse as conversations rose all around us.
That was all it took to break the spell Aly had me under. I sat back as she released her fingers. She straightened, stared ahead as if she’d been affected just as much as I’d been, while I struggled to regain some semblance of composure.
Because inside I was shattered.
I had to keep myself from jumping when I looked up to find Megan standing in front of us, holding her hand out for Aly. Questions ran across the girl’s face, her eyes darting between Aly and me. She seemed to waver before she spoke. “Do you want to come for a swim with me?”
Confusion rolled from Aly in billows, a heavy hesitation in her movements before she finally accepted her friend’s hand. “Sure.”
Megan tugged at Aly as she helped her to stand, though the girl managed to keep one eye firmly rooted on me.
Aly dusted off her shorts, her expression guarded when she glanced back at me. I could see the question she silently asked me in her eyes.
What was that?
I just blinked into the dim light, because I didn’t know, either. All I knew was that I felt as if something was being ripped from me when she walked away.
Aly followed Megan to the edge of the pool. Her friend tore the sundress she wore over her head, laughing as she jumped in the pool. She bobbed to the top of the water. “Are you getting in, or what?” she called to Aly.
“Yeah, yeah… ” Unease trickled from Aly’s mouth in a small giggle. “You know I need a little time to work up to it.”
Megan laughed. “You’re such a baby. Get in here.”
I felt like an asshole because I couldn’t look away when Aly’s fingers fluttered down to the hem of her tank top and she slowly raised it over her head to expose the creamy skin of her back, watched as she unbuttoned her shorts and let them slip to the ground. She stepped out of them and toed them aside.