Emancipating Andie

Instead she turned, attempting to maintain some semblance of dignity as she walked quickly toward the staircase that would bring her back down to street level.

He didn’t try to stop her.

She exited the building, her breath coming in shallow little bursts as her legs trembled, struggling with the task of supporting her.

To her surprise, her eyes remained dry as she slid into the driver’s seat, and even as she pulled swiftly out of the parking space. It wasn’t until she sped onto the highway that would take her home that she felt the familiar stinging behind her lids, and for a second, she wondered if it was possible to run out of tears.

She wished that it was.

How could she have gotten this so wrong? How could she have misread him? Images of Chase ran on a loop through her mind, a slideshow of her indiscretions: the hotel room in South Carolina, the lake, Tybee Island, the dance floor, the night she locked herself out.

The piano.

Was it possible she had misinterpreted all of it? Or had he just changed his mind?

Andie swallowed hard, shaking her head. It didn’t matter. As awful as she felt now, she knew what she had done tonight was for the best. Somewhere behind the dull ache in her chest was a tiny ember of reassurance.

She’d never be Tracey, looking back on this night with regret.

She’d never be her mother, marrying for stability instead of love.

And she’d never be sorry that she fell for Chase, even if he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. She looked at the world around her through different eyes now because of him. He had given her confidence; he had shown her how to find humor and comfort in the things she feared; he had proven to her that a person could take his suffering and use it to become a better person; he had reminded her that the world was full of possibilities. Even if they had no future together, she’d never lament the experiences she had with him.

And if it weren’t for Chase, maybe she would have ended up with Colin, and she would have never been genuinely happy.

Colin deserved a girl who was head over heels for him, and Andie deserved to love someone with her entire being, her heart, mind, and body. And now they were both free to find exactly that.

This was all for the best, she told herself repeatedly.

And she wondered how long it would take before she believed it.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

What had he done?

Chase paced the length of his living room, one hand fisted in his hair as he brought the other to his mouth, taking a long pull of his cigarette. He hadn’t smoked in months, not since before the drive down to Florida, but he was already on his third one in the hour since Andie left.

Her eyes. He couldn’t stop thinking about the look in her eyes.

If only he had seen that fire, the one he knew was capable of igniting there. The one that had seared him with her anger that night in Justin’s wine cellar. If only she had looked at him that way, if he had seen some level of self-sufficiency or resilience in her stare, if she had told him to go to hell, then maybe he could begin to move past the fucking calamity he had created.

But the hurt behind her eyes, the embarrassment, the confusion—he couldn’t stop seeing it. The scene kept unfolding in front of him again and again: her trembling chin, her tear stained face, the hope in her expression, the words that elated him and tore his heart out at the same time.

I said no, Chase.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, taking the cigarette between his lips to free his hands as he walked briskly toward the kitchen and reached above his refrigerator. He grabbed the first bottle his hand landed on and glanced down as he unscrewed the cap.

Joh

He pulled the cigarette from his lips with one hand as he brought the bottle to his mouth with the other, taking a swallow as he walked back to the living room.

Chase fell back onto his couch, his head resting against it as he switched the bottle for his cigarette.

He wanted to tear himself open, to reach inside his chest until he could get his fist around the feeling that was aching there and yank it out of his body.

He had felt guilty enough when he thought he was intruding on their relationship, but he had no idea things were that serious. Shit, they had only just started dating when he met her, which meant they couldn’t have been together for more than a year and a half. He didn’t expect that either one of them would already be thinking about marriage.

It was shitty enough to want Colin’s girlfriend, but to want his wife? To take that away from him?

He exhaled a puff of smoke as he brought the bottle to his lips again. Chase had no idea their relationship was there. If he did, he would have tried harder to rein himself in. How could he have been so selfish? How could he have done this to his friend?

How could he have done this to Andie?

He swallowed, feeling the heat glide down his throat, and he leaned forward, putting the bottle on the coffee table before he ran his free hand roughly down his face.

He shouldn’t have gone to her apartment the night she left Ripley’s. Up until that point, everything was manageable. Everything was under control. He should have just left well enough alone. But no, he had to follow her. He had to invite himself in under the bullshit pretense of giving her a piano lesson. And with one selfish move, he had managed to ruin her entire future.

He stared down at his hand as he rolled the cigarette between his thumb and forefinger, and with a dexterous flick of his wrist, he watched the ember disintegrate, raining down on his carpet and speckling it with little dots of gray. Chase brought the cigarette to his lips once more, jumping slightly as a loud, frantic knocking sounded at his door.

He stilled for a moment before he closed his eyes. Only one person would be coming to his apartment at this time of night, knocking with that sort of frenzied determination.

Colin.

Mother fucker. He did not want to do this now.

With his eyes still closed, he fell back against the couch, exhaling the smoke slowly through his nose. The banging on his door sounded again, a little louder this time, and the muscles in Chase’s jaw flexed.

He had never been the type to run from consequences. In fact, few things turned him off more than a person who couldn’t own his mistakes. And as questionable as Chase’s integrity had been over the past couple of months, he would not show weakness of character now. He ran his tongue over his teeth, laughing humorlessly to himself at the pathetic irony of it all, as if he’d be showing some type of moral fiber by facing his friend after he had furtively lured his girlfriend away from him.

Despite the fact that he could not even wrap his mind around having this conversation right now, he knew he would open the door out of principle. Colin deserved an explanation just as much as Chase deserved some type of repercussion.

The thumping on his door sounded again with such ferocity that Chase was sure the person on the other side had kicked it, and he sat up slowly, reaching lethargically for the bottle on the table and taking one last swallow.