Stealing Harper

“You might want to answer that when he calls again.” I dropped the phone next to her and tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it felt like more of a grimace as I turned around and went back out the door to finish cooking. As I was passing the entryway I felt my pocket vibrate and grabbed my phone to find five calls from Brea

When I got back upstairs with the food, Harper had the comforter over her head, and I almost wished she would put it back over when she pulled it down. That crushed look was in her eyes again, and though I knew this would be hard for her since it wasn’t a secret she was in love with my best friend, that look was terrifying me. I put the plates between us and ate silently as I watched her holding a piece of bacon and staring at the covers. Almost ten minutes of her in that exact position, and I was about ready to beg her to reassure me that we would be okay. I felt like such a girl, but I had one of those ominous feelings in my gut, like this wasn’t about to go my way.

I placed my hand on her back and rubbed small circles against it as I finally begged her to say something.

“Brandon will be back in a couple hours.”

“Shit.” I fell back against the headboard and rubbed my palms down my face, I didn’t want to deal with Bree and everyone’s being home; but I really didn’t want to have him here yet. “I thought he wouldn’t be back ’til tomorrow night.”

“He got scared when I didn’t answer the phone. Bree told him I was sick and alone, and since no one could get ahold of me . . .”

“Bree called me a few times, begging me to come check on you. Looks like they’re all heading home today, too.”

“Chase”—she turned to look at me, her eyes wide and terrified—“what should I do?”

“I can’t answer that for you, Princess. No one can.” Her question had the ache in my chest already starting, and God I didn’t want to ask her my next question. Even though I would have told you that just thirty minutes ago I knew what the answer was, by then I was worried that I didn’t. I looked at her hands, which she seemed so fascinated with all of a sudden, and forced it out. “Who do you want?”

“I don’t know!” she blurted out, and looked back at me. “I want you, Chase, but I can’t hurt him. I won’t hurt him any more than I have. I love him too much.”

My jaw dropped, and the air left my body. What the hell? Does that mean . . . ? I should have known, but I—I couldn’t. What the hell am I supposed to do without her?

“No matter who I choose, people will get hurt. And then what happens if I leave him? He lives in your house, Chase. He’ll have to see us together, and it will kill him. I can’t do that to him! He loves me, he hopped the first flight he could because he was scared for me and wants to come back to take care of me. How am I supposed to tell him I’m in love with someone else after that? If I left him for you, it would be bad for us. He’d come after you, the guys in the house would take sides. We would be miserable. My body craves you, Chase, but I feel like I’m being torn in two. I just—I need a few weeks to think about this. Can you please give me that?”

But I love you, too. Couldn’t she see that? Couldn’t she see she was crushing me? I ground my jaw to keep from saying any of that. If I wanted to win her, I couldn’t force her to choose me; she needed to come to me on her own. “Are you going to ask him to give you time, too?”

“No, I can’t.”

The fuck did she just say? “So you’re just going to go back to him? Pretend like last night never happened? You’re so worried about hurting everyone else, do you even realize you’ll be hurting me?” I got off the bed. “Damn it, Harper, don’t you see that? I’m the one that will have to watch you with your boyfriend while waiting for you to figure out what you want!” I didn’t look at her again as I walked out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

I stormed down the stairs and paced back and forth in the living room before deciding to go back upstairs to just grab my shit and leave. But before I knew it, I had the phone to my ear.

“ ’Mmm ’lo?”

“Bri, put Marissa on the phone.”

“Chase?” he grumbled. “Fuck man, do you know what time it is.”

“No; put Marissa on the phone.”

“Shit, are you crying?” He sounded more alert now.

“No I’m—” I rubbed my hand over my eyes and pulled it back to find them wet. “Just put her on the damn phone!”

There was shuffling before I heard Marissa’s groggy voice; I knew that Brian had put me on speaker, but I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m losing the only girl I will ever love; not much else matters. “Chach, what’s wrong? Brian said you’re crying?”

“I’m losing her, Riss, I’m losing Harper, and I don’t know what to do. I’m five seconds from leaving again, but I need to know if I’d fuck up everything for good by doing that.”

“Well, what happened?”

“I slept with her last night—”

“What?” they both yelled.

“—and now Brandon’s coming back, and she wants me to give her time, but I know she’s just saying that. She’s going back to him, like nothing between us ever fucking happened!”

“Hold up! Rewind. You slept with her?” Marissa sounded a little more composed now, “Okay, either Brian hasn’t been keeping me updated or some serious shit went down yesterday, so tell me everything.” She covered the speaker, and whispered to Brian, “I’m go

“Riss, he didn’t know, so give him a break.” I stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up as I told them everything that led up to what happened last night and everything that happened this morning; the ache in my chest growing as I relived it all. “I can’t lose her. But she basically just threw last night in my face now that her boyfriend is coming back, and once again, I’m nothing to her.”

“God, Chase,” Brian said, “when did you become such a fucking girl?”

“I know”—I sighed—“I freakin’ feel like it.”

“Screw you, babe!” Marissa shouted, and suddenly she was talking loud enough I figured I was off speaker. “Chase, she loves you. You aren’t nothing to her, she’s just confused. She doesn’t know what to do. Her boyfriend is coming back, and she just admitted to his best friend that she’s in love with him too and lost her v-card to him. She’s probably freaking out. If she said she needs a few weeks, then give the girl a few weeks. But don’t just leave her, Chach.”

I snorted at her nickname for me. “Do you think this is all one big game to her?”

“No way. If it were, she wouldn’t have a problem leaving you.”

Just before I could ask how Marissa was sure she wouldn’t, the worst sound in the world sounded over the ru

“What? What happened?”

“I can hear her crying.” I ran a hand through my hair and grabbed a fistful as I pushed off the wall. “I gotta go to her, Marissa.”

“Damn straight you do! This is just as hard for her, probably harder because she’s the one who has to choose.”

I stumbled halfway up the steps at that. “I don’t know what I’ll do if she chooses him,” I said honestly. “I need her.”

“I know, Chach.”

“Gotta go, thanks Riss.” We said good-bye, and I tossed the phone on my bed, which just that morning had been a major part of my favorite moment in my life, and, I was afraid, would only ever be a memory.

I opened the door to my steam-filled bathroom, and the pained sobs that filled the room pierced my chest.

Oh, Princess.

Harper was holding herself up against the tile wall when I stepped in behind her, and I didn’t know how my heart could break any more. Grabbing around her waist, I turned her toward me and pressed her close to my body as hers shook with hard sobs. The thought of losing Harper had tears falling down my face for the second time that morning—before that day, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. But after that night with my princess, I didn’t know how I was supposed to go through life without her. I gripped her harder to me when her sobs quieted, and looked down at her puffy red eyes when her head tilted back to look up at me.