Dhalgren

The man looked confused too.

Not that his hair was long; but for the type of person he was, your first thought would naturally be: He needs a haircut. “She said,” he said, “I should go out this way…?”

“Okay,” De

Dragon Lady had come up the steps and was standing outside it, watching.

“I gave her the money. Hey, thanks a lot. That was really nice. Maybe I’ll be back.” He looked at me, then looked just a little more confused.

Dragon Lady opened the door for him and he hurried down into the yard. She looked after him, then let the door close, but stood outside on the top step.

It isn’t despair. That vanishes with enough laughter and reason. I have both of those a-plenty. I guess most people, when all is said and done, lead lives as interesting as they can possibly bear. But I don’t remember putting it on. I don’t.

I looked at the orchid.

I don’t remember putting it on.

I took it off.

“You like him,” I asked, “D-t?”

“Who?” D-t said. “Tarzan? Man, he’s okay. He just don’t know when to keep his mouth shut. That’s all.”

“You made him piss all in his pants,” De

“Huh?” I said.

“He wet all over himself.” De

“I wish I’d seen it,” I said. “It would have made me feel better.”

“I…don’t mind Tarzan,” De

“Look, man,” D-t said. “Tarzan’s just a kid. He don’t know anything.”

“Shit!” I slipped the orchid back on my neck again. “He’s older than De

“He comes,” D-t said, “from a very strange family. He’s told some of us all about them. You got to make allowances.”

“They’re not that strange,” I said.

“I mean,” D-t said, “they didn’t teach him too much. I mean about the way things are.”

“Yeah?” I took a very large breath. “Maybe what gets me is how much his family reminds me of my own.”

Then I went down the hall and into my own room.

Lanya, visible down to her nose, looked over the edge of the bed like a cartoon Kilroy.

“Hello,” I said. “How are you?”

“When I heard you come in,” she said, “I thought De

I climbed up into the loft.

She sat up and made room; she was wearing her jeans, but they weren’t buttoned yet. “You know what turned him on most? That I was a chick who balled scorpions,” she said immediately. “That was all that really interested him. He was nice enough. But I could have been a piece of liver one of you guys had jerked off in; he would have been just as happy.” She touched my knee, tentatively. “I mean, I don’t mind being a…what do they call it, ‘a homosexual bridge’ if I enjoy both ends. Really—he was too fu

“I was going to ask you,” I said, “whether you had completely lost your mind. But coming from me, I suppose, the question is presumptuous to the point of quaintness.”

“I don’t think I’m out of my mind.” She frowned. “To finish up the fantasy, I should turn this—” she pulled a five dollar bill from under her knee—“over to you. Or De

“Fine by me,” I said. “Just don’t get into this money thing too seriously. You’ll end up like Jack.”

“It isn’t the money,” she insisted. “It’s a symbol.”

“That’s just what I mean.”

“I think you should take your own advice.”

“I try,” I said. “Hey—this wasn’t intended as some kookie way to get back at me for mugging that guy in the street?”

“Kid!” She sat back. “You just shocked me for the first time since I’ve known you!”

“Tread delicately,” I said. “Where do you come off with this shit about me shocking you?”

“I didn’t even think of it. I mean, how are they even comparable? I mean what would…Wow! Is that what you thought?”

“No,” I said. “I didn’t know. So I asked.” We sat for a few seconds, rather glumly. Then I said: “Was he any good?”

She shrugged. “It’s five bucks.”

Then, because there was nothing else to do, I began to laugh. She did too. I put my arms around her and she sort of fell into them, still laughing.

“Hey!” De

Which got us going all the harder.

De

“While we’re skirting the subject,” I got myself together enough to ask, “have you balled any of the other guys in the nest?”

Lanya wriggled a little in my arms. “In the nest? Well, not here—”

“Where did you ball ’em?” De

“Who,” I asked, “did you ball?” I guess I was surprised again.

“Revelation,” Lanya said.

I nodded.

“…and, well, Copperhead.”

“Jesus,” De

Lanya raised a forefinger to bite on the green polish. “You remember the night of Kid’s party, when he went off to Cumberland Park, during the fire, and found those kids, with George? You’d wandered off somewhere, De

De

“It was very fu

I was surprised and I was curious: “Did they come?”

“Maybe a couple of times at first. I think. But after that, they were just permanently up. Nobody gave ’em a chance to go down. You just did anything you wanted with them. And anyone who was interested did.”

In the middle of a corrective complaining about Risa’s/Angel’s joint cooking effort, Lanya turned to me as I came into the kitchen and said: “Kid, I had a thought, about your memory thing.”

“You all full of thoughts,” Angel said. “Whyn’t you shut up and let us cook?”

“She’s just helpin’,” Risa said.

“And she knows I’m just jokin’,” Angel said. “Don’t you?”

“I’ll shut up,” Lanya said.

I sat on a corner of the kitchen table. “What’s your idea?” A piece of silverware fell on the floor.