Nash

I was walking out, dragging my feet and unwinding my long hair from the tight bun on the top of my head, when I ran into the only person outside of my sister who I considered a friend here in Denver. Sunshine Parker was the assistant nursing director, my boss, and probably the most honest and forthright person I had ever met. She was just a tiny little thing, part Filipino, with jet-black hair and a smile that went on for days. She had made the transition to this emergency unit bearable considering all my weird social hang-ups that often made settling into a new environment challenging. She was a few years older than me, totally dedicated to her career and to helping people in need. I so wanted to follow in her footsteps. She was just like me, only she had no problems talking to people or interacting like a normal person. She also wasn’t struck dumb by simple conversation.

“Hey you. Rough day?”

I was rubbing my fingers hard into my scalp where my hair had been trapped, and had to admit I was exhausted. Today I’d seen an excessive amount of blood and guts, even for an ER, and my short conversation with Nash had worn me out. I felt awful for him and what he was going through, but it also grated on my nerves that I cared at all one way or the other. I wanted to be immune to him. Only that didn’t seem to be an option my hormones were allowing.

“I’ve had better. It was a busy one.”

She tossed her blanket of shiny hair over her shoulder and cocked her head at me.

“You are an amazing nurse, Saint.”

Those kind of compliments I could take. I gri

“Thanks, Su

She gri

“Right. So believe me when I tell you that you need to find more in your life than this ER, or any ER. This is a job, a career, and yes, it’s an important one, one that requires dedication and sacrifice, but it does not require that you lose yourself in it. You’re a lovely, brilliant woman who has a bright future ahead of her. I see a lot of similarities between the two of us. Believe me when I say none of that means anything if you don’t have anything else.”

I made a confused face at her and shifted my weight so that she had to drop her hand off my shoulder.

“What brought that on, Su

She gave a little laugh and flipped her long hair over her shoulder again.

“I heard a rumor Dr. Be

Dr. Be

“Come on, Su

“A good life is not the same thing as a fulfilled life, Saint. If the man is asking you out, then I would say you are most definitely his type. You need to buy a new mirror, one that accurately shows you what everyone else sees when they look at you. I’ll never understand how you can’t see that you’re pretty much every man’s type.”

I wanted to tell her she was wrong, I did see what everyone else saw, but no amount of spectacular cleavage, a nice hourglass figure, or pretty hair could overcome the fact I had a hard time co

“I have to take this, Su

“Sure thing, my friend. Someone has to … you’re too busy caring for everyone else to care for yourself.”

As if to prove her point, as soon as I cleared the sliding glass doors at the entrance of the hospital, Faith’s voice rang shrill in my ear.

“Are you ignoring my calls?”

Faith and I were close. Since we were only a year apart, we had gone through school together until she graduated. Going away to college on the West Coast had been necessary for me, but it had also been hard to leave her behind. Now she was married to her college sweetheart. They had four kids under the age of seven and were expecting a fifth. She was the primary reason I had come back to Denver even though I loved the beach, missed the hospital and staff from my postgrad job in California, and had a really hard time returning to the town that reminded me of my younger self every day.

“No. I had to work late and got caught up talking to my boss on the way out. What’s up?”

I heard her sigh as one of the kids screamed in the background.

“Did you talk to Mom this week?”

Considering my week had been crazy and spent alternately punishing and berating myself over Nash, no, my mom has not been on my radar.

“No. I was busy. Why, did something happen to her?”

My parents had been married for over thirty years, twenty-five of them happily. At some point, while I was gone and Faith was starting a family, my dad had decided that being home alone with my mother was no fun. Unbeknownst to any of us, he had started seeing his much-younger dental assistant who worked with him at his practice. The marriage had struggled on until my mom couldn’t take the infidelity and insult anymore. As a result a seriously contentious and ugly divorce started two years ago. It was drawn out, filled with hate and bickering, and had turned my parents not only against each other but practically into strangers to Faith and me. That was the other reason I came home. I wanted my mom back.

My mom wanted us to have nothing to do with my dad. She was angry, irrational, and all her focus had been on Faith and the kids. It was driving my sister bananas, and after one too many teary and desperate phone calls, I had applied at Denver Health Medical Center and had come home to help out and try and minimize the damage. My mom was on the brink of a meltdown. I could see it coming like speeding lights at the other end of the tu

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