Toxic

“If beauty is pain — let me get lost in it. If you’re my salvation — I want to earn it. If love is all I have to give — then let me give it. You. It’s all for you.”

Gabe’s eyes opened and locked in on mine.

“How can I prove that what I feel is real? You ask for truth I give you lies. You ask for joy I make you cry. But I don’t want to lose you. Not like this. Not when I’ve left your heart in such a mess. Give me one chance — I’m letting go of the past — but I need you here to know.”

“If beauty is pain — let me get lost in it. If you’re my salvation — I want to earn it. If love is all I have to give — then let me give it. You, it’s all for you.” He paused, hitting the last few notes, and the song ended.

Gabe’s smile lit up the room.

But I was frozen in place.

Me. He’d sung that to me.

I wiped a stray tear from my eye as Gabe approached me yet again. Was the man trying to kill me? I mean, there was only so much a girl could take.

His eyebrows drew together as he reached out and touched my wet cheek.

“It’s okay.” I whispered. “You earned it.”

“I want more songs!” Princess shouted breaking our moment.

I’d forgotten there were people all around us. Feeling my face heat, I sighed and walked back to the front of the room. “Alright, today we’re going to work on adding to the songs we created last time. Use four different notes and I want you to add a chorus.”

I walked from table to table helping.

When I reached Princess and Gabe, she was sleeping, which was weird to say the least. She never slept. I was begi

“Is she okay?” I asked, my eyebrows drawing together in concern.

Gabe looked up from his chair and sighed, shoulders hunched he said quietly, “The infection is getting worse.”

I pulled a chair next to him and sat, without realizing I’d done it. I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “She’s strong. It will be okay.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed back and smiled. “It really will.”

Chapter Forty-One

Watching your best friend smile when he looks in the mirror? No words. Just. None. —Wes M.

Gabe

“Wear the dark jeans.”

“Do you mind?” I snapped.

Wes held up his hands. “All I’m saying is they hug your ass and if you’re still tiptoeing around Saylor, it couldn’t hurt.”

“Remind me again why you’re here?”

“Best friend.” Wes pointed at himself and smirked. “Besides, it was either me or Lisa, and we both know how she is when people go on dates.”

“Good point,” I grumbled.

Lisa and Kiersten were spending the evening together. Kiersten wanted answers, and Lisa owed her some. Besides, it wasn’t my truth to tell, not by a long shot and I had my own demons to face — no chance in hell was I going to try to tackle all things Lisa as well.

I sighed. It seemed like we all needed our own night of truth. Yay. Hold me back while I pump my fist into the air and dance a little jig.

I’d met with my father earlier that morning before I went to the Home. His demand was simple.

Go with him to the media.

Or he’d expose me, as well as Lisa and Princess.

I told him to go to hell.

His way meant I had no control — my way meant that at least in the end I could control how everyone found out. The only issue was that Princess had no idea and was going to have to blindly trust me. And Lisa? Well, her family had always known where she was.

Because unlike me, she wasn’t hiding from her family or from the media, not really.

She was hiding from Him.

With Wes’s support I called every freaking news station in the area offering them the story. Let them fight over the exclusive — in the end it would be my choice.

The only catch? I didn’t want to be interviewed, not yet, and I didn’t want to bring Princess into it. I hoped it was a bit like calling my dad’s bluff — I’d show him I’m not afraid to go to the media myself, and he’d walk away.

He still hadn’t returned my phone call.

So now it was a game of chicken.

Either way. The truth was going to come out — Wes was right about that. But at least this time, when I thought about that ticking time bomb, I was clipping at the wires. I wasn’t just staring at it waiting for it to scare the shit out of me. Fu

Awesome.

Now I sounded like Wes.

The walking Hallmark card.

And shoot me now.

“Dude, the jeans don’t look that bad,” Wes scoffed. “Stop being so dramatic. Damn actors.”

I pulled the trigger and mouthed poof right in Wes’s face and smirked. His response was to tilt his head to the right, feel my forehead, and then smack me on the cheek Godfather style.

“I think you’re more fun to irritate when you have light hair.”

“Hilarious.” I threw on a black t-shirt and grabbed my keys.

“Gabe—”

“What?” We’d decided it would be weird for him to call me anything else. I was so damn relieved he didn’t want to call me Ashton because I knew it was only a matter of time before the whole freaking universe was going to be shouting that name. And I didn’t mean that because people loved me — no, I meant that just because once reporters had a bone it was chewed on until only tiny shreds remained, once the bone disappeared, they’d just cough it up and start the process all over again.

“Thanks for trusting me with her.”

I couldn’t look at him.

So I looked at the floor. “Just, don’t freak her out. She likes to play board games, but you have to move the pieces for her. And the only reason I trust you with her is because…well, you’re you. Besides, she has a thing for guys with light hair and dimples.”

Wes threw his head back and laughed. “She has good taste, that’s what you mean.”

I joined in. “Yeah man, the best.”

“So I’ll see you later at the home then?”

“Yeah.” I scratched the back of my head. Why the hell was I so nervous? I felt like a parent leaving my child for the first time. Is that what Princess had become to me? Wes was the first person other than Saylor who was going to meet her and I wasn’t even going to be there to see it happen. But, the only way I could actually go out tonight and be with Saylor — be the man she needed me to be — was if I had someone I trusted keeping their eye on Princess.

And Wes did kind of come along with two of his best security.

Add them to the security we already had at the Home, and we had six guys who wouldn’t let a soul through the doors if they as much as sneezed in the wrong direction.

“Go.” Wes pointed to the door. “Just make sure your pants are still on by the end of the night.”

“As opposed to what? Down by my ankles?”

“As opposed to what, he asks.” Wes rolled his eyes. “Need I remind you how many compromising positions I’ve walked in on in this room?”

“Oh that.” I waved my hand into the air. “Water under the bridge. I buried that mask.”

“Huh?”

“You said to fuse them together.” I flashed him a triumphant grin and waved goodbye. “So I only put together the good parts. Princess’s favorites, Saylor’s favorites, yours, Lisa’s… the rest of that shit? It was better left behind. Baggage, you would say.”

“Well, well, well.” Wes clapped. “The student becomes the teacher.”

“Bye, Sensei.” The door clicked behind me to Wes’s laughter. I had trouble fighting my own smile as I put on my baseball hat and walked down the hall.

So far, nobody had said much to me. Besides, who actually suspects that they’ve been living next door to a long lost celebrity for four years?

As unbelievable as it sounds, when you live in the real world, outside of Cali or New York, people don’t give a shit. In LA people are constantly looking for famous people, hoping to catch one as if we’re animals you have to trap or something.