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“The first ring,” I murmured, sliding the platinum diamond encrusted band up her finger, “represents your past. Your parents, your life in Bickelton, your first year at college, and finally the hospital room. There are ten diamonds in this band, representing every item you put on your bucket list. These diamonds are a reminder of how far you’ve come.” I cleared my throat and slipped the next band on her finger. This one was a three-carat solitaire. “This band is the present. This moment. Right now. Every time you look down at this ring, I want you to remember the way you looked on this day. The way you made me feel. And since you can’t see yourself and since you can’t read my mind…” Tears filled Kiersten’s eyes as I gripped her hand tighter. “You look like an angel. Like the first person a dying man would see when he was granted access into heaven. Your skin is glowing so much that it almost hurts to look at you, the way your hair falls against that same glowing skin is so distracting that I don’t know where to look first. Your eyes are really clear, because you’ve been crying, and your lips are a bit swollen from licking them too much, something you do when you get nervous.” I placed her hand over my heart. “And right now I feel like I can do anything. My heart feels strong for you, my desire isn’t just to marry you and let this be our moment, Kiersten. I want to marry you and create a million moments every single day. Which is why…” I slipped on the next ring. It matched the first one. “This ring has ten stones. I figure that we should just keep it an even number when it comes to lists. Just because the last list was finished, doesn’t mean we can’t create a new one. On this list, I see kids, careers, our first house, possibly our first big fight where you make me sleep on the couch. This last ring is our future, Kiersten. We complete our lists together, we complete our life together. This is what we have to look forward to. Blank pages just waiting to be filled with our story. And the cool part? We don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can make a promise to you right now. Your hand’s going to be in mine the entire time. Kiersten, I swear to never let you go. Through sickness, through health, through happy times, through sad times. I’m yours.”
JoBob handed my band to Kiersten, she took it and looked down than looked back up at me. “I don’t—I didn’t prepare anything, there was no time and—”
“Words were never needed between us, Kiersten,” I said softly. “You know that. I can hear your heart. That’s all that matters.” I rested my hand against her chest and smiled as she slowly took my other hand. She squinted at the writing on the band.
“It says my name?”
“Yeah.”
“With a heart?”
“Just in case I need you to keep me going and you aren’t around.” I smiled. “I’ll just look down and remember, you’re with me. Forever. Always.”
“I am.” Kiersten slipped the ring on my finger and then placed her hand over mine.
“By the power vested in me from Randy Michels and that handy little online tutorial…” JoBob winked. “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Wes Michels. Son, you kiss that bride of yours.”
Our mouths collided, meeting in the middle. Kind of how our relationship was, the perfect give and take.
My fingers dug into Kiersten’s hair as I pulled her closer to me.
She wrapped her arms around my neck.
I couldn’t stop kissing her.
Time paused for me—in that moment it was like the sun had stopped shining, the earth had stopped its movement on its axis.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the table.
The very table that I had lain on months ago.
I remembered the cold metal of the instruments they hooked me up to, the slow steady beat of my heart on the monitor.
Kiersten stepped back from me, turning our kiss into a hug. Everyone clapped but my eyes were still on the table.
Angela had held my hand as I fell asleep.
Fu
I could have lost my faith in that moment, instead I chose to believe that I couldn’t control the outcome and just trusted in the hand that was holding mine. Sometimes that’s all we have. A hand.
But most the time.
If we’re being completely honest with ourselves.
It’s all we really need.
My eyes flickered to the door. I could have sworn in that moment, I saw a nurse with blonde hair smiling, and then, as if I’d just imagined it, the figure disappeared.
My dad moved to stand in front of me, and pulled me in for a hug. “Your mom would have been so proud.”
I smiled and stared at the door. “Yeah. I know.
Chapter Seven
Our steps define us—whether they take us in the direction towards what we want the most—or away from what we love. Our entire lives are based on steps and stages. Fu
Lisa
Wes and Kiersten made their way through the crowded hallway, hugging doctors, nurses, patients. It was like watching a really sad Hallmark commercial or something. Not that it was sad, more of a happy sad. My smile was frozen a bit on my face—actually it was starting to hurt…bad. I wondered how actors did it. How did they act happy when they were torn up inside? I would have been the worst actress on the planet.
Even as a model I hadn’t been that great, thus the reason for nobody really recognizing me when I moved up to Seattle. I’d dyed my hair and grown out of my lankiness into more of an athletic build. To a model—that was a curse. Muscle tone! Oh no! But for me? It was as if I had finally been given a gift from above. Finally, I was able to look in the mirror and see someone other than that girl from so many years ago.
“Hey!” Gabe wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “You look…off.”
“Ah…” I turned my head to meet his gaze and gave him a friendly pat on the chest. “Music to every girl’s ears.”
Gabe’s gaze narrowed. “What happened?”
The guy looked less haunted these days, as if he’d finally caught a break and was able to live a normal existence where he wasn’t always worrying about keeping his secret. That’s just what he didn’t need, more drama. I slung out from underneath his arm and penetrating gaze and shrugged. “I’m pregnant.”
“WHAT!” he roared.
I burst out laughing. Wow! I’d so needed that. Veins I didn’t even know existed popped up on Gabe’s forehead and neck. I took pity on him and winked “I’m kidding.”
“Hilarious.” He coughed a few times and then leaned over as though he had to catch his breath. “Never again Lisa, or swear I’m going to lock you up. Okay?”
“Um, okay?” I rubbed his back and winked at Saylor who was watching our exchange in amusement from her discussion with her mom over at the nurses’ station.
“So…” Gabe stood to his full height. “What’s really bothering you?”
“Nothing,” I lied, pasting a smile on my face. Everything was bothering me. Every damn thing. But it was stupid. I mean compared to everyone else’s drama, my little insecurity and inability to forget my shady past really wasn’t that big of a deal.
“Look…” Gabe lowered his voice and continued. “I know it’s hard, with Wes and Kiersten getting married, and me and Saylor…if you need to talk it’s totally fine and—”
“Holy crap, Gabe!” I smacked at him and stepped away. “Clearly I’m not acting like myself if you feel the need to go all therapist on my ass! Geez, I get that enough with Kiersten and Wes. Do you even realize how hard it is hanging out with those two constantly bugging me?”
Gabe narrowed his eyes. “Um yeah? I was their target for a whole year, remember?”
“It’s not that.” I crossed my arms. “I think I’m just exhausted from school and stuff. Maybe I need a vacation.”
“So go on vacation.” He made it sound so easy so simple.