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“I don’t suppose you’ll forget everything you just heard?” Julie asked hopefully.
“Far be it from me to ever refuse a lady anything,” Gray said as he set the glasses of tea on the coffee table. “But I feel compelled to lecture you about that damn sex club.” He stood to his full height and stared sternly at her. “It’s not a place you need to be wandering into.”
Faith smothered a giggle with her hand and rolled her eyes at Julie. “It’s not that bad,” she defended.
Gray glared at Faith. “You’re not ever going back there, so don’t get any ideas about taking Julie. And Julie, I really don’t think it’s a good idea that you involve Damon in any sort of scheme. I’m not saying he isn’t a good guy. He’s been very good to Faith, and for that I’m grateful, but the members of his ‘club’ are another matter. Who the hell knows what you might be walking into.”
“At least he didn’t hear the part about Nathan,” Julie muttered in a low voice to Faith.
Gray gri
Faith shooed him away with her hand. “Leave us to do our girl talking. I promise not to plan a raid on The House without telling you first.”
“You damn well won’t be going whether I know about it or not,” Gray muttered. But he turned and walked back toward the bedroom after another glare in Faith’s direction.
“And this is the guy who agreed to let another man fuck you?” Julie asked in disbelief.
“Julie! For God’s sake keep your voice down,” Faith hissed.
Julie held her hands up. “Just sayin’.”
Faith shook her head. “Okay, so tell me what sort of fantasies you want Damon to help fulfill, and then you can tell me what you have pla
CHAPTER 28
Serena leaned back in her chair and stared out the window of her office building. First day back at work after a week of being Damon’s slave.
Slave.
It was a laughable term when she considered just what her experience had been. All the reading, all the mystery and fantasy. What she’d expected was a far cry from what she’d received.
Pampered. Cherished.
Maybe she’d expected true slavery. To be debased or degraded. Had she wanted that? Some of the scenarios she’d fantasized about embarrassed her now. Made her feel ashamed.
She reached back, trying to rationalize what drove her need to subject herself to a man’s dominance. But the answers didn’t come. And now that she was away from Damon, back in the normal realm of reality, she felt removed from her experience as if it had all been a dream.
The idea of going back to the fantasy seemed odd, as if the curtains had been pulled back, exposing the truth, shining light over a shadow.
Julie and Faith had both called, wanting to meet her after work for drinks and gossip, and obviously to get the dirt on Serena’s week in captivity, if you could call a week of decadent pleasure and endless spoiling captivity.
Serena had cried off, saying Damon expected her home, and it was the truth. Why she still sat here at her desk as the evening progressed, with her cell phone turned off, was a mystery she wasn’t moved to solve.
A part of her was tempted to call Damon and tell him she wouldn’t be back, that the agreement was over. It would make her a flaming coward, not to mention she wanted to see Damon again. She wanted to be with him. And she owed him more than a brush-off over the phone.
She shoved away from the desk and stood. As her slacks adjusted and slipped down to cover the band around her left ankle, she frowned unhappily. For a long moment she stared at the place where she knew the cuff resided, now covered by her pants. She’d purposely not worn a skirt because she hadn’t wanted the unusual piece of jewelry to be seen. The blouse she’d chosen was a half sleeve to hide the armband.
No one could possibly know what the jewelry signified, no one but her. But she hadn’t felt comfortable stepping outside of the fantasy she and Damon had created, hadn’t wanted to bring it to her world. It crossed a dangerous threshold.
Sex confused the issue. As trite as it sounded, when emotion entered the picture—and it had—sex was no longer just sex. Lust was no longer just lust. And fantasy was no longer just fantasy.
She knew this, cautioned clients about it on a daily basis, and yet here she was, up to her neck in a fantasy that blurred the line so much that even she had a hard time figuring out how much was real and how much wasn’t.
She wouldn’t lie to herself and vow that there wasn’t any real attraction between her and Damon, or that she longed with painful ferocity for something deeper than casual sex and a fantasy role. But he’d made it clear what he wanted, and she’d been equally clear about her wants and needs.
Opposing destinations with a brief intersection.
That about described her and Damon.
She glanced at her watch and winced. She was postponing the inevitable. There was a decision to make. Either she went back to Damon or she called it off. But standing here being wishy-washy wasn’t the answer, and it didn’t get her any closer to the solution.
She collected her briefcase and her keys and reluctantly headed for the elevator. It was odd how strange the whole situation looked as soon as she removed herself from the fantasy. But while she was there, living it, wanting it and craving it, there was nothing but the moment. Nothing but the need for more.
Was this what addiction felt like? Wanting something that wasn’t good for you and losing all objectivity in the process?
When she got into her car, she didn’t immediately head for Damon’s, nor did she go home. She drove. As much as it pained her to admit, she was scared. Scared of how easily she could lose herself if she allowed it. During the week she’d been with Damon, she’d found herself doing anything to please him. Without question, without hesitation, never offering argument.
It was frightening how easily she turned into someone else. But more u
“No. This isn’t me,” she whispered. “And I don’t want it to be.”
Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, she picked up the phone and dialed Faith’s number.
A moment later, her friend’s concerned voice came over the line.
“Where are you?” Faith demanded before Serena could even say hello.
“I’m in the car,” Serena said calmly.
“Damon is frantic with worry. He said he’s been unable to reach you and that you aren’t at the office or your apartment.”
“Shit,” Serena muttered.
“Is something wrong?” Faith demanded.
Serena took in a deep breath. Just hearing that Damon was worried made Serena feel like an inconsiderate clod.
“Faith, I just have a question.”
“Okay.”
“Remember when you said that Gray told you he could never be involved with a woman who wasn’t strong enough to submit?”
There was a short pause. “Yes, of course.”
“Do you believe that?”
“What are you getting at, Serena?” Faith asked softly.
“I just want to know if you believe it. That it takes someone strong to give up ultimate power, to allow a man to take care of her, to make decisions for her.”
“Yes, I do.”
The conviction in Faith’s voice moved her more than the actual words.
“Thank you,” Serena said quietly. “I need to go. I need to get home to Damon.”
“Serena, what’s going on?” Faith asked.
“We’ll talk later, okay?”
She hit the end button before Faith could offer further argument. For a moment, she held the phone in her hand, tempted to call Damon, but she wasn’t at all sure what she’d say, and now, as if she’d known all along where she’d end up, she realized she was only a few minutes from his house.