Lost and Found

Krissa looked at Derek, tried to catch his eye. She wanted to talk to him, to see if he’d though any more about her idea. They had to do this. Amazingly, spending two hours walking a screaming baby hadn’t diminished her desire to have one of her own even a bit.

She took a bite of her sandwich. Warm melty cheese and crusty bread melded together in a delicious mouthful. “This is good.”

“Very good,” Nate agreed. He’d almost finished his.

Impatience made her take small breaths, her chest tight. She stuffed the rest of the sandwich into her and slid off her stool. She reached for Nate’s plate, but he shook his head.

“Let me clean up.” He took her plate instead.

“Again. Thanks for helping at Cam’s place. Finding time to do the dishes is hard. I know it’s hard for her to even have a shower.”

Derek gave her a look that she knew said, “And you want that?” She glared at him. “We need to talk. Come on.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the kitchen, down the hall, to their bedroom.

She closed the door of their bedroom and leaned against it. “Did you think about it?”

“About what?”

She huffed out a breath. “Derek! You know what. About Nate.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He ran a hand through his short hair. “I did think about it. All goddamn night. I don’t think I slept more than an hour.”

“Oh, no.” She stepped toward him “So? What do you think?”

Her tummy tightened painfully.

He smiled at her. Oh, God. Could he…

“I think it’s worth a shot. You’re right. If we have to do this, it should be him. No, let me rephrase this. I won’t do it—unless it’s him.”

“Oh, God.” Her whole body trembled and she took another step toward him, held out her hands. He met her and took her hands in his. She stared at him. “Really? Really, Derek?”

He nodded, but a frown edged his brow. “We can ask him—but remember, Krissa, he could say no. Don’t get your hopes up too much.”

She nodded, her mind racing. “Let’s go talk to him now.”

“Wait, wait, honey.” He tugged on her hands. “Slow down. I think I should talk to him.”

She blinked. “Oh. Why?”

“I just think it might be better between him and me.”

“Well…okay.” She nibbled her lip. “But you will try, won’t you? I mean, if he’s hesitant, you have to try to convince him.”

“I’m not going to beg him.”

“No, I mean you have to try to make him understand how much we want this.” Her eyes searched his for reassurance. Not that she didn’t trust him, but… “Maybe I should be there. I could tell him again how much I want this…”

“You’ve already talked to him about it?”

“Not about this. Just about how much I want a baby. How hard it’s been.”

“Oh.” He looked taken aback.

“You’d already told him about the test results. It wasn’t a big secret. From him anyway. Since he knew, I thought I could talk to him about it. And he was really nice.”

Derek nodded. “Yeah. Well, let me try, okay? I promise, I won’t let him off too easy.” A smile touched his lips. She stood on her toes and kissed him.

“Thank you,” she whispered. She slid her arms around him and moved in for a hug. They held each other for a moment, then she leaned back. “I’ll…go have a bath. And you two can talk.”

He nodded, looking serious and left the room.

Nate sat in the family room in the dark. He didn’t even bother with the television. He looked around, clasped his beer in two hands between his knees. He sighed.

Again, Krissa’d dragged Derek into the bedroom. Nate was obviously in their way. What the hell were they doing in there?

Like he needed to ask. What else would a husband and wife be doing in their bedroom? They’d probably be screwing on the couch if he wasn’t there.

He tipped the beer to his mouth, and the crisp bubbles stung his throat on the way down. His mouth twisted.

He apparently needed to get laid. All he could think about was sex. Especially after that little show Krissa and Derek had put on the other night. And it didn’t help that Krissa was so sexy and sweet. Seeing her every day in her skimpy shorts and tank tops, in her pajamas at night and in the morning, was torturing his libido.

The workout had helped. He’d spent a good couple of hours pushing his muscles until they burned and sweat dripped off his body.

He heard footsteps and Derek appeared. “Hey,” he said. “Need another beer?”

“Sure.” Nate finished his off.

Derek brought two beers and sat down on the chair across from him. He drew in a long breath, like he had something to say. Fuck, he was going to ask him to leave. He knew it. He was definitely cramping their style.

“I’m in your way, aren’t I?” he asked.

Chapter Twelve

Derek’s eyes widened. “What? No. Of course not.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come on be honest, you two don’t need me hanging around. You need your marital privacy.”

Derek shook his head, squinted. “No, it’s fine, Nate. We don’t mind you being here. In fact…you may be able to do something…no, that sounds really bad.”

Nate frowned. “What sounds bad? What do you mean?”

Derek sighed. “I don’t know how to say this.” He looked away. “You know Krissa and I have been trying to have a baby.”

“Yeah.” Nate wasn’t sure where this was going. If Derek’s problem was his sterility, they couldn’t blame Nate being there and interfering in their sex lives for their lack of children.

“She wants a baby so bad.” He closed his eyes. “I don’t even totally understand it. It’s a woman thing, I guess.”

“I don’t know,” Nate said quietly. “Some guys want kids, too.”

“I do want kids. But…well, I already told you how I feel about it.”

“Yeah. And I know how disappointed Krissa is.”

“Yeah.”

There was silence. Both men gulped their beer.

“Well.” Derek swallowed, drank more beer. “Uh.”

Nate stared at his friend. Derek, the smooth talking salesman, was having a hard time spilling what was on his mind.

“What’s up buddy? Tell me.”

Derek rubbed his face. “This is the most bizarre conversation I’ve ever had. Okay. Here it is. We want you to donate your sperm.”

Nate’s head dipped and his eyes went wide. “Huh?”

“We want you to be the father of our child. Since I can’t.” Derek’s voice sounded different…thick. “Oh, man. This is hard. I never thought I’d be asking this. But, Jesus, if I have to…Krissa’s right. I want it to be you.”

“Me?” Nate still wasn’t sure he understood what Derek was saying. “I don’t get it.”

“Artificial insemination is one of the only options left for us. I don’t want to use an anonymous sperm donor, even if I can pick his IQ and eye color.” Nate heard the bitter tone in his voice. “But…” Derek lifted his eyes and met Nate’s. “I’d pick you.”

Nate shook his head. “You want my sperm?”

“Yes.”

Silence expanded in the room. Nate heard the faint tick of the clock in the kitchen.

“Jesus,” he finally said. He drained his beer and clattered it down on the coffee table. “I’m flattered, buddy, but…wow.”

“I know.” Derek blew out a breath. “I know. There are a lot of things to think about. Things we’d all need to agree on. We wouldn’t expect you to have any obligation to the child…we wouldn’t even have to tell the child.”

Nate shook his head. “Jesus Christ.”

“That’d be my preference,” Derek said. “Only, you, Krissa and I would ever have to know.”

Nate’s mind spun in circles. He didn’t know what to think. He’d be giving them a baby. He’d be giving Krissa a baby.

For some reason that touched something deep inside him. Like a finger poking him. He closed his eyes.

It would be his baby. But it would be their baby. Not his.

It was too much to comprehend.

“I would really love to help you two,” Nate said slowly. “You know I would. But this is…big.”

“Yeah, I know. Look, don’t make a decision right away. Think about it. Talk to Krissa about it, if you want. You know how much she wants this.”