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“I am used to journeys and since my mission is completed must be on my way.”

I had risen and my mother called Je

“You should rest, my dear,” she said to me. “It has been an ordeal.”

I wanted to shout: You don’t know what an ordeal! I could see his eyes on me, mocking, daring me to tell my mother exactly what had happened.

Je

Je

He bowed. “It gave me great pleasure to be of service, particularly after my ma

“You did let us have the room,” said my mother.

“But, Madam, can you forgive me for my churlish ma

“I would forgive anything for what you have done this night.”

I wanted to scream and I could see he was suppressing his mirth. He had said he was possessed by a devil. Indeed it seemed so.

I went to my room. It was easier to think there. Je

It was unfortunate that he should have looked up and seen me there.

He lifted his hand to his lips as he had on that other occasion. My mother by good luck had not seen me.

I turned hastily away from the window.

When my mother came in with the posset I was lying on my bed.

She knelt beside the bed and laid her hand on my forehead.

“Oh, Li

I should tell her now. She would advise me what to do.

Not yet, I thought. I am not ready to talk yet. I must think about it.

Think about it! I could do nothing else. It was there in my dreams and when I was awake. Images came into my mind. I was not sure whether I imagined these things or whether they had actually taken place.

All I knew was that I could never be the same again, and as the days passed I began to realize that I would not speak to my mother of what had happened. It would be too distressing to us all.

My father came home and when the house was filled with his vital presence I told myself he must never know. I was aware what would happen if he did. He would set out with a cutlass and nothing would satisfy him but the head of Colum Casvellyn.

For that man I cared not but there was a notion of which I could not rid myself. There was a growing conviction in my mind that whatever conflict he entered into he would emerge the victor. He was like my own father, but he was young and my father was no longer so.

Colum Casvellyn must not be allowed to bring more tragedy to my family. And the only way I could prevent this happening was to remain silent.

The hideous happenings of that night must be my secret … and his.

THE HASTY MARRIAGE

CHRISTMAS CAME AND THERE were the usual festivities although my father had said there should be very special rejoicing in the culmination of this year of victory. It was now over a month since my adventure. It still haunted me. My mother noticed that I had changed and asked me if I were well. I assured her I was, and still I said nothing, which was strange for previously I had always shared confidences with her. But of this I could not talk.

We decorated the great hall with holly and ivy; and there was much singing and dancing and playing with cards and dice. The servants enjoyed this for they were only allowed to do it during the Christmas season, therefore it seemed especially exciting as all forbidden things do. There was a law which forbade craftsmen and servants to gamble, which most of us said was for their own good. Of course a man of substance could do as he wished. My father liked to gamble. He was a gambler by nature and he was inclined to be very lenient with servants who broke the law in that way.

So Christmas was celebrated with the dice and cards and the mummers and masking; and it was as I remembered it had been all my life.

“Last Christmas,” said my mother, “the fear of the Spaniards hung over us like a black pall. This year we are free.” I wished I felt free. A greater black pall hung over me, for a national disaster can never really affect us like a personal one.

With the new year the Landors came for the proposed visit. Loving to boast about his possessions, my father had wished to impress them with his wealth. My mother retorted that the Landors were a wealthy family and would not be amazed by that in others, particularly if it were thrust under their noses to be remarked on.

But my father would have it his way. I knew he was very excited about the prospect of new business interests.

New Year, he said, should be celebrated much as Christmas. A Lord of Misrule should be appointed through a certain trinket to be found in one of the cakes or puddings and that should add to the fun. It was to be a right merry welcoming in of the new year, for he prophesied it would be a year of great prosperity for England.

My mother said to me: “It will be a pleasure to see the Landors again. Do you think so too, Li

She was looking at me intently and I could not meet her eye. I said that I should indeed be pleased.

“It seems that they will join with your father. I like the idea. I daresay we shall see a great deal of them in the future.”

I could see she was already pla

On the last day of the old year the Landors arrived. Fe

My father and mother were in the courtyard welcoming the guests, my father shouting orders and making the servants run hither and thither, my mother taking quiet command.

We took them to their rooms and they pleased my father by admiring Lyon Court. The smell of roasting and baking filled the house and it was a very merry party which sat down to supper that evening. Edwina had come over with Carlos, for Carlos was very interested in the new venture and would indeed have a share in it. So would Jacko; and young Pe

Edwina was begi

She talked to me about the coming child when we were alone.

“I’m so happy, Li

I said it was wonderful to see her so delighted and asked what she hoped for, a boy or a girl.

“Carlos wants a boy of course. Men always do.”