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When he finished his speech, her eyes were full of tears, but he knew with absolute certainty she wouldn’t let a single one fall. It didn’t bother him one bit, though. Her pride was one of the reasons he’d fallen for her.
“Beck.” Her voice wavered. “I don’t know how to belong to someone. I don’t know how to have someone belong to me.”
Her words flayed him alive, but he forced himself to step back, letting her slide down the wall. “I know what I’m asking. It’s a leap of faith, and I won’t force a decision out of you right now.” Hating the distance he had to put between them, Beck backed toward the door. “I need you at the ceremony tonight. Can you give me that?”
She nodded vigorously, but her gaze was on the floor. “I’ll be there.”
Before he left the room, he stopped in the doorframe and waited for her attention. “Two choices, Ke
He left the apartment, praying like hell his gamble would pay off.
Chapter Eleven
Ke
After Beck had left this morning, she sank into a hot bath and sat there until it went cold. Then she’d made spaghetti for breakfast and brought it in a bowl down to her workshop. About an hour had passed before she realized she hadn’t picked up a single tool. Or taken a bite of the spaghetti. She’d been in shock. She could count on one hand the times she’d felt wanted or important in her life. Most of them had come in the last few years via Darla. Once or twice while her father had been recovering from the heart attack, he’d let her see his appreciation for her help. But being on the receiving end of Beck’s proposition this morning had thrown her like a paper airplane into a tornado.
Snippets of their night together had started to trickle in once the shock wore off. Beck had called her nurturing. At the time, she’d found it ridiculous. Now, though? She wondered. Why had she stuck around Black Rock so long when—at age twenty-two—she was free to go anywhere? When she could move her business wherever she decided to live?
Was she waiting around, hoping her parents would need her? Hoping they would forget the past and include her in their new lives? The time she’d spent aiding her father’s recovery had pulled her off the path of destruction she’d been intent on traveling, giving her a reason to shape up. But what if her apparent caretaker nature was doing more harm than good now? Every day that passed without word from her family felt like a physical blow, felt like being abandoned all over again for something better. Brighter.
It stopped now. What she felt for Beck was scary, especially after such a short space of time. It fluttered wildly in her stomach, begging her to climb over her mountain of fears and slide down the other side, right into his open arms. Yes, there was a part of her that wanted to heal Beck’s wounds, soothe his soul. That newly admitted facet of her personality asked to be fostered. Beck recognized that part of her and accepted it, so long as her need for him ran beneath it, true and straight. And it did. She needed to be with him so badly, it sang in her ears like whistling wind.
You’re here to take the leap. There would be no backing out now…and hell, she didn’t want to. She couldn’t wait to see Beck’s face when she told him. Couldn’t wait to be held against his chest, hear his heartbeat. Ke
A man seated behind Beck on stage cleared his throat, obviously prompting the major to keep going, which he did a moment later. “It is with gratitude that I accept this Silver Star. Men who came before me—good, self-sacrificing men and women—have accepted this honor and I can only hope to live up to their legacies.” His eyes found Ke
Ke
To his friend’s right stood a pretty blonde she hadn’t noticed upon arriving, but the woman looked familiar, nonetheless. Too familiar. It only took Ke
An invisible fist closed around her throat, cutting off her oxygen. Her legs began to shake with the urge to run as fast as she could. It would be over now. Look at them. They were a ten-year age progression of the homecoming king and queen. Stupid perfect. Mary had her hand on Beck’s arm, big, bluebell eyes pleading, white teeth flashing as she whispered to him.
Ke
Ke
* * *
Jesus, this couldn’t be happening.
He’d walked off the stage, raw from revisiting the tragedy that had taken Xander and wanting nothing more than to soak up comfort from Ke
Out of nowhere, Mary had appeared. Confusion had stopped him in his tracks, followed by a brief flash of nostalgia. Not because he had any lingering feelings for Mary. He hadn’t for a long time and now…now he couldn’t fit a single damn thing around what Ke