After We Fell

“So where are you from?” she asks.

I ignore her and continue on my trek. I think I’m supposed to turn left at the next stop sign. I sure as hell hope so.

“England?”

“Yup,” I say. Then figure I might as well ask. “Which way?”

I turn and see her point to the right. Of course, I was wrong.

Her eyes are an icy blue, and her skirt drags across the gravel below her feet. She reminds me of Tessa . . . well, the Tessa I was first introduced to. My Tessa no longer wears hideous things like that. She has also learned a new vocabulary; all credit for that goes to me for making her cuss my ass out on a wide range of occasions.

“Are you here with your parents, too?” Her voice is low, sweet even.

“No . . . Well, sort of.”

“They are sort of your parents?” She smiles; her use of “they are” instead of the contraction “they’re” reminds me of Tess, too.

I look over to the girl again to make sure she’s actually there and this isn’t some freaky Christmas Carol–type shit where she’s an apparition that has come to teach me some sort of lesson.

“They’re my family, and my girlfriend. I have a girlfriend, by the way,” I warn her. I don’t see this girl being interested in someone like me, but then again I once thought the same about Tessa.

“Okay . . .” she says,

“Okay.” I pick up my pace, wanting to create some space between us. I turn right, and she does, too. Both of us move onto the grass as a truck passes us by, and she catches up again.

“Where is she, then? Your girlfriend?” she asks.

“Sleeping.” It makes sense to use the same lie I told my father and Karen.

“Hmm . . .”

“Hmm, what?” I look at her.

“Nothing.” She stares forward.

“You’ve already followed me halfway back. If you have something to say, then say it,” I say irritably.

She twists something in her hands, looking down. “I was just thinking that you seem like you’re trying to escape from something or hide . . . I don’t know, never mind.”

“I’m not hiding; she told me to get the fuck out, so I did.” What the hell does this wa

She looks up at me. “Why did she kick you out?”

“Are you always this nosy?”

She smiles. “Yeah, I am,” she says with a nod.

“I hate nosy people.”

Except Tessa, of course. No matter how much I love her, sometimes I want to tape her mouth shut following one of her interrogations. She’s literally the most intrusive human being I’ve ever met.

I’m lying, really. I love her pestering behavior; I used to hate it, but I get it now. I want to know all about her, too . . . what she’s thinking, what she’s doing, what she wants. I realize, to my fucking horror, that I ask more questions now than she does.

“So, are you going to tell me?” the girl presses.

“What’s your name?” I ask her, avoiding her question.

“Lillian,” she says and drops whatever was in her hand.

“I’m Hardin.”

She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Tell me about your girlfriend.”

“Why?”

“It seems like you’re upset, and who better to talk to than a stranger?”

I don’t want to talk to her; she’s eerily similar to Tessa, and it’s making me uneasy. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

The sun has disappeared early here, and the sky is nearly black.

“And keeping it in is?” she asks sensibly. Too sensibly.

“Look, you seem . . . nice and all, but I don’t know you and you don’t know me, so this conversation isn’t going to happen.”

She frowns. Then sighs. “Fine.”

Finally, I can see the familiar sloped roof of my father’s cabin in the distance. “Well, this is me,” I say by way of dismissing myself.

“Really? Wait . . . your dad is Ken, isn’t he?” She slaps her small hand against her forehead.

“Yeah?” I say, surprised.

We both stop walking at the end of the driveway. “I’m an idiot, of course! With the accents, how did I not think of it earlier.” She laughs.

“I don’t get it.” I look down at her.

“Your dad and my dad are friends, they went to college together or something. I just spent the last hour listening to them tell stories of their glory days.”

“Oh, that’s ironic.” I half smile. I don’t feel as uncomfortable around the girl as I did a few minutes ago.

She smiles brightly. “So really we aren’t strangers after all.”

chapter

thirty

TESSA

Cookies,” Landon and I answer in unison.

“Cookies it is, then.” Karen smiles and opens the cabinet.

Karen never stops, she’s always baking, roasting, toasting. Not that I’m complaining; her cooking is incredible.

“It’s dark out now. I hope he doesn’t get lost out there,” Ken says. Landon just shrugs like That’s Hardin.

Hardin has been gone for nearly three hours, and I’m trying my best not to panic. I know he’s okay; if something were to ever happen to him, I would know. I don’t know how to explain it, but I know deep down that I would just know.

So something harming him is not what I’m worried about. I’m worried that his frustration will just become an excuse to find some local bar. As much as I wanted him to get away from me, it would kill me to see him stumble through the door and smell liquor on his breath. I just needed my space, time to think and cool down. I haven’t gotten around to the thinking part; I’ve been avoiding it at all costs.

“I was thinking we could all get in the Jacuzzi tonight or maybe in the morning?” Karen suggests.

Landon spits his soda back into his cup, and I look away quickly, biting the inside of my cheek. The memory of Landon spotting my floating panties is much too fresh, and I can feel the heat in my cheeks.

“Karen, honey, I don’t think they want to get in the Jacuzzi with us.” Ken laughs and Karen smiles, realizing that it would be a little awkward maybe.

“I guess you’re right.” She laughs and starts separating the cookie dough into small balls. She scrunches her nose. “I hate this premade stuff.”

I’m sure that for Karen, premade cookie dough is awful, but for me, it’s heaven. Especially now, when I feel like I could snap at any moment.

Landon and I were in the middle of a discussion about Dakota and their soon-to-be apartment when his mother and Ken finally checked in on us. They mentioned that they ran into Hardin as he was leaving. Apparently he told them that I was asleep, so I did my best to go along with his lie, saying that I had only woken up when Landon came in.

I’ve been wondering where Hardin is and when he will return since the moment he left. Part of me doesn’t want to see him at all, but part of me, a much bigger part, needs to know that he isn’t doing anything that will further jeopardize our already fragile relationship. I’m still extremely angry at his interfering with my move to Seattle, and I have no idea what the hell I’m going to do about it.

chapter

thirty-one

HARDIN

You sabotaged her getting an apartment?” Lillian asks, her jaw falling open.

“I told you it was fucked up,” I remind her.

Another pair of headlights flashes by us as we walk to her parents’ cabin. I had every intention of going back to my father’s, but Lillian has proven herself to be a decent listener so far. So when she asked me to walk her back to her cabin and finish our discussion, I accepted. My absence will give Tessa some time to cool down and hopefully be ready to talk by the time I return.

“You didn’t tell me what level of messed up it was. I don’t blame her for being mad at you,” the girl says, of course ready to take Tessa’s side.

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