From Bad to Cursed

Kasey looked confused.

“It’s an expression,” Agent Hasan said, stacking her untouched paperwork and sliding it back in her briefcase. “Stay out of trouble.”

She walked herself to the door. We stayed seated; I’d been advised to avoid putting u

I wanted to stop her, to ask her what was next for me—what would the side effects be, of taking the oath to the book just as it was destroyed. I kept waiting to feel my mind start to loosen at the seams, but so far, I didn’t feel any less sane than a person would reasonably feel after what we’d been through. But I was afraid to ask, because—unlike Kasey—I didn’t think I was brave enough to go to a place like Harmony Valley for a year.

“Take care, girls.” And with a curt nod, she left.

Mom and Dad came back inside, not looking at each other or at us.

“I guess I’ll go finish up my homework,” Kasey said, easing herself out of the chair.

“Me too,” I said.

She disappeared down the hall while I was still hoisting my way to a standing position. This put me in the distinctly unfortunate position of being alone with my parents. It seemed like there was something I should say. I took a breath. “Alexis,” Dad said, his voice heavy with hurt and disappointment, “please. Just go to your room.”

* * *

The office was in disarray.

I wandered through the workroom, looking for Farrin, finally passing through the cylinder into the darkroom.

The lights were on, and Farrin was on the floor in the corner, labeling a box. She didn’t look up. “I wondered when you would come.”

I tried to hide my surprise when she looked at me. I’d never seen her look so bedraggled. Actually, I’d never seen her look less than perfect.

She looked at me as though she knew what I was thinking. “Well, what did you think was going to happen?” she asked. “Turns out I’m bankrupt. The people I thought I could count on have disappeared, and suddenly I find that I’m an old woman.”

“But you still have your talent,” I said. “They can’t take that away from you.”

She shrugged. “I’ve spent my whole life watching people with talent be overlooked in favor of people who had better co

“I’m sorry,” I said, and I was. Not sorry that the book was gone. But that Farrin’s life was collapsing around her like a house of cards. “Will you tell Senator Draeger I said thank you?”

“I’ll try,” Farrin said. “She’s very busy these days. Her campaign finances are being audited. Things aren’t going terribly well for any of us. And I’m sorry about the contest. You know the magazine is folding.”

“I understand,” I said.

“You’re fortunate, Alexis,” she said, her voice a little wistful. “You’re young enough to start over.”

I nodded.

“Very tragic about your friend,” she said. “You were there…when it happened?”

I nodded again. She was watching me, her eyes burning.

Then I realized that her question was about more than whether I’d been there. There was something else she wanted to know.

I looked at her and saw that she was just a broken woman, alone and afraid.

She’d lost everything. I couldn’t let her lose Suzette too. Maybe I should have—but I couldn’t.

“It was…painless,” I said. “Very peaceful.”

She managed a quivering smile and then looked away, and I knew my lie hadn’t totally convinced her. “Go on, then. I have a whole life to put into boxes.”

THE DAY OF THE funeral, it was ninety degrees in the shade. Mourners showed up in black tank tops and miniskirts.

Kasey and I stood alone under a tree, at the back of the crowd.

Mr. and Mrs. Small clutched each other at the edge of the grave site. Mrs. Small kept leaning like she was going to fall on top of the coffin. She’d probably been drinking, not that you could blame her.

Megan wasn’t there. She hadn’t even come back to school. She was grounded from talking on the phone, e-mail, texting, or any other form of human contact. She’d been enrolled at Sacred Heart Academy by Tuesday morning. Her grandmother had been threatening it for years.

There was no cheerleading squad at Sacred Heart, which was just as well, because I’d destroyed what was left of Megan’s knee. Mrs. Wiley told me so just before she hung up on me.

I watched Carter approach from the road, wearing a short-sleeved gray shirt and black pants.

We hadn’t seen each other at all since the night Lydia died. I was amazed that so much time had passed. There had just been other things to take care of.

He nodded to Kasey, who nodded back.

“Um…I’m going to go say hi to Adrie

When she was gone, I turned to Carter. “How are you?”

“I’m all right. You?”

“Fine.”

We looked over the throngs of students. In death, Lydia was popular. Apparently a lot of people found her fu

“It’s so weird,” I said. “Like half the people here, she was trying to kill.”

He shook his head. “She didn’t mean it,” he said. “The real Lydia.”

“Ha,” I said.

“Underneath all her attitude, she was just sad, Lex.” He gazed at the yellow-rose-covered casket.

I detected the dig and turned to him. “How can you defend her?”

Carter turned to me. “It wasn’t all her fault.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “She set up the whole thing. She pla

“Never mind.” He shrugged. “This is tough for you. I don’t want to make it worse.”

“Tell me,” I said. “I can take it.”

Carter stuck his hands in his pockets. “You knew better than to let something like this happen again.”

“Let?” I asked. “Are you kidding me?”

“Yes, let,” he said. “Why didn’t you ask for help as soon as you found out what was really happening?”

“And tell me,” I said, “who would I have asked?”

He stared. “Uh, me, maybe?”

“Oh, right.”

“See? You wouldn’t even consider it.”

“Because it’s a ridiculous idea!” I stared up at him. “If something happened to you—if you got hurt—”

“Or not me, I don’t care. Your parents? Anyone, Lex.”

“That’s not even fair.”

“It would never occur to you not to shut everyone out. You never for one second trusted me. Do you even know how to trust?”

I couldn’t tell if his words made me angry or sad, but tears tried to spring to my eyes. I forced them back and stared into the distance, willing myself to stay in control.

“I could have done something,” he said. “But you had to do it all alone.”

I lowered my voice. “I’m sorry, Carter.…I was trying to protect you.”

Carter’s hand came haltingly toward my face. His fingers ran up my cheek and touched the edge of my lips.

“Don’t you get it?” he asked. “Every time you try to protect me, you end up breaking my heart.”

I looked up at him, and before I knew what was happening, we were kissing again, urgently, terribly, like a pair of war-torn lovers about to leave for opposing armies.

“Carter…” I whispered.

“I need some time, Lex,” he said, taking a half step away. “I haven’t been feeling like myself lately, and…I have to figure some stuff out.”

I broke away and shaded my eyes. When I looked up again, he was gone.

A few leaves fluttered to the ground where he’d been standing.

Kasey came back to me, her face dewy with sweat. She linked her arm through mine. “Are you okay?”

My boyfriend needed “time.” My best friend was locked away from me. My parents would never trust me again. For all I knew, Aralt was still inside me somehow, still infecting me.