From Bad to Cursed

“She said she was dying?”

“No, not yet. But she said there was less time than she thought. And that Aralt was impatient. And she chose me because I was different from the other girls.”

Kasey wrinkled her nose. “I always knew your rebellious streak would come in handy someday.”

“But handy for what? What does she want me to do?”

Kasey shrugged and ran her finger along the length of her braid. “She wants you to try again.”

I sighed. “We could always…go ask her.” Even though my body went cold all over at the thought of being back in that house.

Kasey shook her head. “Not tonight.”

I settled back against the cushions, relieved. “One thing I don’t get.”

She looked up at me.

“Before Megan and I joined the club…why didn’t you just say you weren’t in danger?”

Not the question she was expecting. “I was trying to keep you from being too interested,” she said, pushing on her forehead with the side of her hand. “I really thought I could explain to them why we needed to stop.”

“But that wouldn’t have worked.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I still wonder—if I’d been able to really talk to them…to Tashi…”

“And then what?” I asked. “How would you have stopped it?”

“I don’t know.” She buried her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, Lexi. I’m so sorry.”

“No,” I said. “It’s not all your fault. I should have been there for you.”

“But I was being stubborn,” she said. “They were my friends. I knew you’d help me if I asked, but I wanted to show you I could do it alone.”

“We’re just a pair of idiots,” I said.

The moon shone its flat blue light on the wall bordering the backyard, making the view even more depressing.

“So what now?” I asked. “Do you trust me to help you?”

“I don’t know,” Kasey said. “Do you trust yourself?”

I thought about it. Should I trust myself?

There were aspects of Aralt I’d begun to count on—always knowing the right thing to say. Believing in myself, in my future.

Yes, Aralt was a being of unspeakable evil. But was I really strong enough to forsake him, or would I wake up the next day and immediately sell my sister out?

“Maybe there’s a way around that,” I said. “If we can come up with some sort of—not blackmail, but…an insurance plan? So if I get tempted, you have something to hang over my head?”

I thought it was pretty inspired, actually.

But Kasey shook her head. “No,” she said. “I’m tired of lies. I’m tired of bullying. I don’t want to have something hanging over your head. If you don’t want to help me, that’s your choice.”

“But I could get you in huge trouble, Kase,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said, leaning back and staring up at the ceiling fan. “I guess so.”

“I wasn’t strong enough before,” I said.

“That’s not true,” Kasey said. “You just didn’t know what you wanted. Do you know what you want now?”

“I know what I don’t want,” I said. But…

It’s so much to give up. It would be like sacrificing a part of myself.

“Shut up,” I said out loud. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

Kasey watched me. She knew I wasn’t talking to her.

“Yes,” I said. “I’m sure. I know what I want.”

I pulled the gold ring off my finger, walked to the sliding door, and threw it over the wall into the hills. It was just an outward symbol, not part of the supernatural co

I wanted my life back.

When I woke up the next morning, there was a dark circle around my finger where my ring had been, like a bruise. I pulled a random ring from my jewelry box and put it on to cover the black.

Before I left my bedroom, I sat and tested my thoughts. I thought about Kasey. And Carter. And Aralt. And the Sunshine Club.

There was a pull—a craving, almost like a constant low-grade headache behind my ears. But Kasey was right. I was strong enough to see through all of it.

As I headed for the kitchen to get some breakfast, my sister waved me into her room. I closed the door.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Good.”

“No, I mean…how are you?”

I made my mouth an O. “Gooooood.”

She tossed a pillow at me, but I could tell she was relieved. “So about getting started. I’ve officially reached the end of the Internet,” she said. “I was thinking about going to the library later. Can you come?”

“There’s no use,” I said. “All of the paranormal books at the city library are locked up.”

Her face fell.

“And so are the ones at school,” I said. “Although…”

Miss Nagesh seemed surprised when I asked her to keep the library open late for us. But she agreed right away. “I’m just revising my novel,” she said. “I can work at the school as well as I can at home.”

At lunch, Carter came up behind me and touched the curve of my back. “Can we eat by ourselves today?”

I turned to him in surprise. “Sorry,” I said. “You know I can’t.”

“Come on,” he urged. He stared at me, unblinking. I felt his fingers move lightly across my shirt. From around the table, eye beams bored into us like lasers.

Sit here. I miss you. “Sit here,” I recited, too tired to resist. “I miss you.”

“Ah…it’s okay.” He let his hand fall from my back. “I’ll sit with the guys.”

“Oh,” I said. “All right.”

All through lunch, I stole glances in his direction. But he wasn’t looking at me.

Ever. Not once.

Miss Nagesh fumbled with a giant ring of keys, looking for the one that would unlock the metal cabinet in her office. “I never even thought about opening this thing. What kind of librarian keeps books in a locked closet?”

I shrugged. The kind who gets fired, apparently.

“It’s ridiculous. Your first job this week is to put these back into circulation,” she said. “If we ever get them out.”

“What’s your book about?” Kasey asked.

Miss Nagesh glanced up, her eyes shining. “The next big thing in teen fiction,” she said proudly. “Harpies.”

“Wow,” Kasey said.

“Obviously not with feathered bodies or anything,” she said. “I’m taking some liberties.”

“Can’t wait to read it,” Kasey said.

“I have to finish it first,” Miss Nagesh said. “Wait…wait…got it!”

The cabinet door swung open, revealing shelves piled high with books.

“Go for it,” she said, backing away. “I’ll be at the main desk if you need me.”

We spent the next few hours poring over the books, looking for anything that might help.

“Listen to this,” Kasey said. “‘One aspect constant to every libris exanimus is its attendant creatura. The creatura functions as bodyguard and servant to its libris. It will always be found nearby; if you come across a libris exanimus, you can be sure a creatura is close at hand, and vice versa. Be wary, for a creatura will take any means necessary to protect and serve its master.’”

And that would be Tashi. “But is it a human or a spirit or something else?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “That’s all it says. This is a book of cheat codes for a video game called Spirit Killaz 2.”

“Oh,” I said.

Kasey heard the doubt in my voice. “But it talks about power centers, too. I think the people who made the game actually did their homework.”

My phone buzzed. I glanced at it, expecting to see Carter’s name on the caller ID. But it was Megan’s. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” she asked.

I hesitated. Luckily, the question had been rhetorical.

“Because I can tell you where I am,” she said. “Sitting on my bed studying my French vocab.”

Studying?

“There was a pop quiz today!” she said. “And I totally bombed it.”

“Wow, that sucks,” I said.

She made a disgusted noise. “I know, I’m so mad.”