From Bad to Cursed

“You think Carter’s going to win tomorrow?” she asked, glancing up at me.

I shrugged.

“That would be cool,” Emily said, her eyes dreamy. “It would be great for getting new members.”

“Does he think he’s going to win?” Mimi asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “He’s kind of doing his own thing this weekend. We haven’t really talked.”

“Do you think he’s been with Zoe?” Paige asked, sitting up.

“No,” I said. “He told me there was nothing going on.”

“And you believe him?” Lydia asked.

“Yes!” I said, a little too snappily. “A hundred percent.”

“Then he needs you!” Emily said, her voice soft. “I mean, you’re in love. I’m sure he wants you there.”

“In love?” Megan repeated. “You’ve never actually said the words, have you?”

In fact, we hadn’t. And I can’t say I was thrilled with her for a

But everyone was watching me, rapt.

“No,” I said. “Now can we please change the subject?”

Thankfully, they all got the message and found something else to talk about.

“Is something wrong with you guys?” Tashi asked.

She’d spoken so quietly that I was the only one who heard her. She wasn’t even looking at me. She was bent over, blowing on her toenails, which were a perfect sparkly pink.

From anyone else, I might have resented the question, but there was something about Tashi that was so nonchalant. The way she asked, it was like she didn’t really care if I answered or not.

“Something,” I said. “I just don’t know what.”

“People do grow apart, you know.” She gazed out the window. “My boyfriend can be distant sometimes.”

“I don’t think that’s what’s happening,” I said. “This is more sudden than growing apart. He’s really mad at me, but he won’t listen to my side of the story.”

She stuck the cap loosely onto the bottle and turned to look at me. “Do you want to save your relationship?”

“Yeah, of course,” I said. “But…I don’t know. What if Aralt doesn’t want us to have boyfriends?”

Tashi squinted. “No offense, Alexis, but that’s absurd. Love is a gift…when you find the right person. Aralt wouldn’t deprive anyone of that.”

“All right,” I said. “Then I guess Carter just hates the way I look now.”

“Maybe he doesn’t know what to think,” Tashi said.

“I guess he’s going to have to figure it out.”

“Have you ever thought of telling him what to think?” She tipped her head to one side and absently played with the ruffled hem of her dress. I looked at her ring: it was prettier than mine, more like an heirloom or antique, with a softer sheen and a carved braid encircling it.

Oh, sure, because Carter’s the type who’ll blindly go along with whatever anyone says to him. Even Aralt couldn’t pull that off.

“Sometimes you have to change people’s minds for them.” Tashi gave me a little smile as she turned back and pulled the brush out of the bottle, and then it happened:

The bottle tipped over.

One instant, I saw a giant drip of sparkly pink spreading into the carpet fibers, and the next instant, Tashi had reached her hand over it and closed her fingers.

When she opened them again, the bottle was in her hand, the cap neatly screwed on. There was no nail polish on the carpet, or her fingers, or anywhere except exactly where it was supposed to be.

MEET ME IN THE COURTYARD? I texted.

VERY BUSY TODAY, was Carter’s reply. A second later: BUT OKAY.

The election was that morning. He was staring at his watch when I got there, as if to remind me that he was taking time away from crucial Student Council activities to humor me.

“Still campaigning?” I asked.

“Yeah. By the bus loop.” He fidgeted with his cuffs, checked his watch. “What is it, Lex? This isn’t a great time.”

A word came into my head like it was written on a script: Listen.

I reached out and grabbed his arm. “Listen.”

Like magic, he stopped fidgeting and stood perfectly still.

I know this is a big change. “I know this is a big change.” But it’s not what you think. “But it’s not what you think.” I never saw the Sunshine Club as a long-term thing.

I repeated that, too, and saw his face muscles twitch.

“I joined for Kasey,” I said. “And I’m going to stick with it, for Kasey. Because she’s my sister, and she needs to know I’m there for her. I can’t just quit. But it’s not the kind of thing I’m going to be doing forever.”

Come on, Carter. “Come on, Carter.”

Do you really think some silly group of girls is more important to me than you are? More important than us?

Staring deeply into his eyes, I said it all, every last word. When I stopped speaking, he didn’t seem to know what to say.

I need you, said the voice. “I need you,” I said, “to support me while I’m supporting Kasey, and then this will all be behind us, and we’ll be back to the way we were. Most of all, I need you…” —to forgive me.

Inside, everything came screeching to a halt.

Forgive me? Why? What was I guilty of?

Carter was waiting, holding his breath. This was it, the moment that determined how things would be with us.

It’s not like you’ve done a brilliant job of maintaining this relationship on your own, said the voice inside me.

Only I knew better than to repeat that.

“I need you…to forgive me,” I said, looking at the ground.

“Lex,” Carter whispered, taking my hand and pressing it to his chest. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been a jerk. You’re trying to help Kasey, and I’m acting like a spoiled little kid.”

I felt washed clean, utterly renewed and reassured.

It was everything I’d wanted to hear him say.

“We’re okay?” I asked.

“We’re better than okay,” he said into my ear. He closed his eyes and kissed me.

We pulled apart and I gave him a tiny smile, my sudden happiness only momentarily shadowed by the fact that it felt like I was kissing a stranger.

“LET’S HEAR IT FOR ALEXIS!” Adrie

Everyone golf-clapped as if Carter’s win weren’t his achievement, but mine, somehow—and therefore the property of the whole club.

It was our Wednesday meeting, and I was antsy.

I was driving over to Farrin’s office that night, to use her darkroom for the first time.

But before that, I had something important to do.

“Now,” Adrie

A couple of girls got called out for minor offenses—chewing gum, swearing, switching from heels to flip-flops after school.

Finally, collecting all of my courage into a ball inside my chest, I stood up.

“I think we’re all doing really well, actually,” I said. “I look around and everyone looks just as Aralt would hope.”

Complacent smiles and murmurs crossed the room.

“But…” I said. “Looks aren’t everything.”

I turned to my sister.

“Kasey, listen,” I said. “Yes, academics are important, but if you don’t act the part, you’re not being a good representative of this organization.”

Kasey stared up at me, drawing shaky breaths. On the surface, she was every inch a Sunshine Club girl—a pretty linen skirt, a soft blue shirt, tasteful makeup, and neat hair. It was hard to pinpoint what was missing. But there was definitely a difference between her and us.

Next to me, Lydia shot to her feet. “What do people see when they look at us?” she asked. “They don’t see smart girls.”

Kasey flushed to a fiery shade of pink.

“They see charisma,” Lydia said. “Charisma and physical beauty. Now, every kind of beauty is important to Aralt, but why would someone even bother getting to know you if you aren’t pretty enough to approach? If they admire you for this,” she paused and gestured to her whole body, “then they’ll stick around enough to see what’s in your head. But it doesn’t work the other way.”