The Story of Me

I make myself a coffee and bring it back to bed and then I call Jackson; I need a Jackson chat. He’s busy all day, so we arrange to meet down at the bar this evening. I give Marley’s number another try, but this time, his phone’s switched off and not even going to voice mail. I stare down at Cam’s number again for a few seconds. I want to call him, but I need to get my head around why before I speak to him. Brooke comes padding through my bedroom door and gets into bed next to me.

“You smell of sex,” I tell her. I’d just heard her latest casualty begging not to have to leave ten minutes ago. She gives out a long sigh.

“I actually smell of bad sex.”

“Oh, dear,” I reply.

“Yeah, it was shit house, if I’m totally honest, but no worries. He’s gone now, never to be seen again.” I smile as I look at her and shake my head slightly, instantly reminding myself of Cam.

“How was your weekend? How’s Jodie?”

“Yeah, it was okay. The club had a thing for all the staff, sort of like a practice night before the opening. Everyone had to work an hour each; it was cool. The place is amazing.”

“So was Jodie stressed, or did it all run smoothly?”

“Oh, come on. This is Jodie we’re talking about; Ms Control Freak herself. It all ran like clockwork, obviously. She’s just pissed off because the new boyfriend wasn’t there.” My ears prick up. Jodie is the opposite of her younger sister; she’s so focused on her career, she rarely goes out with men, and I don’t think I’ve ever actually known her to have a boyfriend.

“Jodie’s got a boyfriend? Well, that’s a first.”

“Well, he’s not her boyfriend per se. She works with him, and they’ve been out for di

“Why didn’t she just ask him? Surely if they work together, he would’ve known about it?”

“Who knows? I’m not getting involved. She’ll be starting a new project after Christmas and won’t be interested in having a man in her life anyway.” She shrugs as she speaks. “So, you made up your mind yet? You coming down for the opening next weekend? Emily can’t make it, but Jax is coming. You, me, Jax and Jodes, we’ll have a blast.”

My chest tightens and my eyes leak without me actually crying. I push the tears away with the heel of my hand.

“What? What did I say?” Brooke looks up at me from where she’s lying on the bed. She turns over onto her side and pushes herself up on one elbow.

“You know it’s exactly a year on Saturday since I lost Sean and Beau?” Her eyes close, and I can hear the gasp as she takes in air.

“Oh, Georgia, fuck. No, I didn’t, darl; I honestly didn’t.” She sits up, leans her back against the headboard, and starts to cry. “I’m so sorry, George. I used to be so jealous of you. You had everything; the boy you’d loved all your life grew up to be famous, but he still loved you. Just you, George, and you were both so rich and famous. I used to pick up magazines and see the pair of you in them and think, ‘Why can’t that be me? Why can’t I have that?’” I cry along with her as I listen, and I actually laugh a little bit, too. “Then when the accident happened and the reporters were all camped outside your mum’s and at the hospital, I just thought how horrible that must be, to go through everything you were going through with the whole world watching.” She reaches over and takes hold of my hand. “You’re coming to Sydney with us this weekend, George. We’re go

“No, I got fucked up, and I took a couple of Valium.” I pause then, wondering how much else to tell her. “I made a few phone calls and stupidly had a couple of glasses of wine while I was chatting. I sort of got myself in a bit of a state on the phone and needed to calm down.” I look her square in the eyes so she can hopefully see I’m being totally honest with her. “I forgot, Brooke. I forgot I’d taken the other two Valium. With those two combined with the drugs I’d taken earlier and the wine, I was all over the place. My heart was racing after the phone call I’d had, and I thought I’d take a couple of Valium to help me get off to sleep.”

“Who was the call from?”

“What?” Shit, I’m not expecting her to ask that.

“You said you were upset by the call, who were you talking to?”

“An old friend.”

“An old friend and they upset you?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“He’s someone I’ve known a long time. We were together for a while when Sean and I split up back when I was a teenager. He sent me a lovely message on my birthday, and for some reason, he was on my mind Saturday night. In my stupid, drunken, drug-induced state, I text him. I didn’t make a lot of sense, and he was worried so he called me.”

“So he’s an ex?”

“He’s my only ex.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow.”

“Did you love him?”

“What is it with you and your brother? You’re both so fucking nosey.” She draws in a breath and shakes her head.

“I don’t know, but answer the question. Did you love him?” I look away and around the room while I try to word my answer in my head.

“I met Sean when I was eleven, and I knew in that moment, we would be together. I’d decided and nothing was ever go

I don’t want to go into detail about how we had been kept apart for four years right now. Talking about all of this is hard enough, but felt unbelievably good at the same time. “Anyway, I shut myself away from the world, and there were horrible stories about me written in the papers; I was some underage harlot who had broken his heart. I had dog shit posted through my letterbox, and I was spat at out shopping with my mum one day. Anyway, I didn’t watch telly. I didn’t listen to music, and apart from school and then work, I didn’t really go out for about three years. I just barely existed, and then Ashley convinced me to go out one night and I met Cam. He’s the bloke I was telling you about, the one I drunk-and-drugged texted on Saturday night. We sort of danced around for about six months and then we finally got together.” I can’t help but smile to myself when I think about what happened when that wanker, Lee, smashed my Hilda up. “He knew everything. He knew how broken I was. He knew I was still in love with Sean, but he didn’t care. He put me back together. He fixed me and then he watched as I walked away, right back to Sean.”

“But you loved him?” I chew on my lip for a second as I think about it and then turn my head back around so my eyes meet hers.