Let It Snow

I’ve never crossed a six-lane interstate before. The opportunity had never come up, and if it had, it would have seemed like a bad idea. But there were no cars at all. It felt like the end of the world, a whole new start to life, the old order gone. It took about five minutes to walk across, since the wind was blowing so hard and flakes kept landing in my eyes. Once I got over, I had to cross some other stretch of something. It could have been grass or cement or more road—now it was just white and deep. Whatever it was, there was a curb buried in it, which I tripped over. I was drenched in snow by the time I made it to the door.

It was warm inside the Waffle House. In fact, it was so overheated that the windows had steamed, causing the large plastic holiday decals stuck to them to droop and peel away. Soft jazz Christmas standards blew out through the speakers, joyful as an allergy attack. The predominant smells were floor cleaner and overused cooking oil, but there was a hint of promise. Potatoes and onions had been fried here not long ago—and they had been good.

People-wise, the situation wasn’t much better. From deep in the kitchen, I heard two male voices, interspersed with slapping sounds and laughing. There was a woman lingering in a cloud of her own misery in the farthest corner, an empty plate dotted with cigarette butts in front of her. The only employee in sight was a guy, probably about my age, standing guard at the cash register. His regulation Waffle House shirt was long and untucked, and his spiky hair stuck out of the low-hanging visor on his head. His name tag read DON-KEUN. He was reading a graphic novel when I came in. My entrance brought a little light into his eyes.

“Hey,” he said. “You look cold.”

It was well observed. I nodded in reply.

Boredom had eaten at Don-Keun. You could hear it in his voice, see it in the way he slouched over the register in defeat. “Everything’s free tonight,” he said. “You can have whatever you want. Orders from the cook and the acting assistant manager. Both of those are me.”

“Thanks,” I said.

I think he was about to say something else, but then just flinched in embarrassment as the slap fight in the back grew louder. There was a newspaper and several coffee cups in front of one of the counter seats. I went over to take a seat a few spaces down, in an effort to be somewhat social. As I sat, Don-Keun made a sudden lurch in my direction.

“Um, you might not want to—”

He cut himself off and retreated a step as someone emerged from the direction of the restrooms. It was a man, maybe sixty years old, with sandy hair, a little bit of a beer gut, and glasses. Oh, and he was dressed in tinfoil. Head to toe. Even had a little tinfoil hat. Like you do.

Tinfoil Guy took the seat with the newspaper and the cups and gave me a nod of greeting before I could move.

“How are you on this night?” he asked.

“I could be better,” I replied honestly. I didn’t know where to look—at his face or his shiny, shiny silver body.

“Bad night to be out.”

“Yeah,” I said, choosing his shiny, shiny abdomen as my point of focus. “Bad.”

“You don’t happen to need a tow?”

“Not unless you tow trains.”

He thought that over for a moment. It’s always awkward when someone doesn’t realize you’re joking and devotes thought time to what you’ve said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil.

“Too big,” he finally replied, shaking his head. “Won’t work.”

Don-Keun shook his head as well and gave me a back-away-while-you-can—it-is-too-late-to-save-me look.

I smiled and tried to develop a sudden and all-consuming interest in the menu. It only seemed right to order something. I sca

“Have some coffee,” Don-Keun said, coming over and handing me a cup. The coffee was completely burned and had a rank smell, but this was not the time to be picky. I think he was just offering me backup, anyway.

“You said you were on a train?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, pointing out the window. Both Don-Keun and Tinfoil Guy turned to look, but the storm had picked up. The train was invisible.

“No,” Tinfoil Guy said again. “Trains won’t work.”

He adjusted his tin cuffs to punctuate this remark.

“Does that help?” I asked, finally feeling the need to mention the obvious.

“Does what help?”

“That stuff. Is it like that stuff ru

“Which stuff?”

“The tinfoil.”

“What tinfoil?” he asked.

On that, I abandoned both politeness and Don-Keun and went and sat by the window, watching the pane shudder as the snow and wind hit it.

Far away, the Smorgasbord was at full tilt. All the food would be out by this point: the freakish hams, multiple turkeys, meatballs, potatoes baked in cream, rice pudding, cookies, the four kinds of pickled fish . . .

In other words, this would be a bad time to call Noah. Except he had told me to call when I got there. This was as far as I was getting.

So I called, and was immediately shuffled off to voice mail. I hadn’t pla

I was about to call back and use a more sincere and sad voice to clarify that all of the above was not a joke . . . when there was a rush of wind, a bit of suction as the outside doors were opened, and then another person in our midst. He was tall, and thin, and apparently male. But it was hard to tell much else because he had wet plastic shopping bags on his head, his hands, and his feet. That made two people using non-clothing items for clothes.

I was starting to dislike Gracetown.

“I lost control of my car on Sunrise,” the guy said to the room in general. “Had to ditch it.”

Don-Keun nodded in understanding.

“Need a tow?” Tinfoil Guy said.

“No, that’s okay. It’s snowing so hard, I don’t even know if I could find it again.”

As he peeled off the bags, the guy turned out to be very normal-looking, with damp and dark curly hair, kind of ski

“Is it okay if I sit here?” he asked in a low voice. He nodded slightly in the direction of Tinfoil Guy. Obviously, he didn’t want to sit over there, either.

“Sure,” I said.

“He’s harmless,” the guy said, still very quietly. “But he can talk a lot. I got stuck with him for about a half an hour once. He really likes cups. He can talk about cups for a long time.”

“Does he always wear tinfoil?”

“I don’t think I’d recognize him without it. I’m Stuart, by the way.”

“I’m . . . Julie.”

“How did you get here?” he asked.

“My train,” I said, pointing to the vista of snow and darkness. “We got stuck.”

“Where were you going?” he asked.

“To Florida. To see my grandparents. My parents are in jail.”

I decided it was worth a try, just slipping it into the conversation like that. It got the reaction I half expected. Stuart laughed.

“Are you with anyone?” he asked.

“I have a boyfriend,” I said.

I’m usually not this stupid, I promise you. My brain was on a Noah track. I was still thinking about my idiotic message.

The corners of Stuart’s mouth wrinkled, like he was trying not to laugh. He beat a little rhythm on the table and smiled as if trying to blow my awkward moment away. I should have taken the out he was giving me, but I couldn’t just leave it. I had to try to cover.